Chino XL - I Told You So (August 21, 2001)

I have to say that I was a bit confused when I read Chino XL secured a deal with Warner Bros. How in the hell did some guy with (admittedly) some talent behind the mic (and an incredibly disappointing debut album, Here To Save You All) land a deal at The House That Bugs Bunny Built? 

 

It turns out that the article that I read eight or nine years ago, basically, had no clue what the fuck it was talking about: Chino's label, American Recordings (home of The Nonce, Johnny Cash, and, briefly, Skinny Puppy) utilized the distribution arm of Warners: Chino was never actually able to access all of that Daffy Duck and Marvin the Martian money. Eventually, due to low tracking record sales, Chino XL was locked in a water tower, never to escape, but he still found his way to Metro Records, an independent label that I never heard of prior and haven't heard from since. 

 

I Told You So is Chino's sophomore album, which saw its release five years after Here To Save You All, and seven years too late for anybody to really give a fuck. As a result, nobody bought the damn thing. If they had, they would have been in for a treat: not only is the album cover overly dramatic for no fucking reason (perhaps, as a tribute to his former labelmate, he attempted to create a "Ring of Fire", but ended up burning down the warehouse where the photo shoot was originally supposed to take place, so they ended up putting Chino in front of a green screen), the tracklisting is completely jacked up, Ghostface Killah-style. (Although, admittedly, he hasn't had those issues ever since switching to Def Jam.) Entire songs and skits were left out of the liner notes in an effort to force the listener to actually work, which is a terrible way to get anyone to like your album.

 

I Told You So seems to have garnered a following on Amazon.com, and even though that's hardly a barometer for taste in our chosen genre, could it be possible that those folks aren't entirely off the mark? Let's find out. 

 

(Note: The tracklisting below reflects how the songs actually appear on the album and not, in fact, how the songs are ordered in the liner notes or on the back cover.) 

 

1. RUDE AWAKENING (FEAT AZIZ) 

This is actually a completely useless interlude. Feel free to skip right to track number two. 

 

2. WHAT YOU GOT 

This song is waaay overproduced, and the hook is incredibly lame. Lyrically, Chino sounds as if he's holding back in order to garner commercial appeal, which is and will always be a mistake. 

 

3. HISTORY (SKIT) 

I actually liked this skit (in which a kid relates Chino's actual childhood), at least right up until Chino himself chimes in with some random fuckery. So much for a skit that could have been good. 

 

4. NUNCA 

I liked this one a lot. This is more like the Chino XL from Here To Save You All. Dissing Insane Clown Posse for ruining hip hop is about as easy as blaming Bush for the decline of America, but that doesn't make the statement any less true. 

 

5. (UNLISTED SKIT) 

Silly and stupid. 

 

6. (UNLISTED SONG)

On the Interweb, this track is frequently referred to as "Fuckin' Asshole", not unlike some of the comments I receive whenever I diss the shit out of your favorite album. Does that make this my theme song? Naah. While it's alright, it's actually not as confrontational as you would think. Some of the lines are amusing, though. 

 

7. THAT WOULD BE ME 

The beat provides a sense of urgency that Chino matches word for word. This shit is actually pretty freaking awesome. 

 

8. LAST LAUGH (FEAT B-REAL) 

B-Real from Cypress Hill would probably be the last rapper I would choose to collaborate with, even though he could probably hook me up with the good shit, but he surprised the hell out of me on here. Maybe it's because of Chino's dominance of the microphone, but B-Real puts the bong down long enough to actually spit some shit like a real rapper should. He's still outshined by his host, but this is the most lyrical I've ever heard anybody from Cypress Hill be. 

 

9. LET 'EM LIVE (FEAT KOOL G RAP) 

The beat sounds alright, but neither Chino nor Kool G. Rap sound comfortable. However, they feel completely at ease with each other, so they have that going for them, which is nice. 

 

10. BABY MOMMA (SKIT) 

... 

 

11. SORRY (FEAT SHAUNTA) 

This was a weird choice for a guest spot. Do you think Chino XL called his agent and asked him/her to track down the female rapper that co-starred on both versions of Timbaland and Magoo's "Luv 2 Luv U"? Anyway, she actually sounds pretty good over the beat, as does Chino himself, and although the pairing doesn't feel even remotely natural, it's still pleasant enough. 

 

12. CHINO XL 

I usually don't like songs that are named after the artist. Although the hook is pretty weak, this song is the exception to the rule. Chino seems to have perfected the art of molding punchlines into song form, and the beats presented to the listeners thus far blow Here To Save You All out of the fucking frame. 

 

13. CHINOPHONE, PART ONE (SKIT) 

Goofy and stupid. 

 

14. YOU DON'T WANT IT 

I didn't care for this track. It comes off as Generic Rap Song #4080, and its title only furthers my argument. 

 

15. CHINOPHONE, PART TWO (SKIT) 

Okay, I have to admit that this skit was pretty fucking hilarious. 

 

16. I TOLD YOU SO 

The chorus is fucking awful, and the beat has been scientifically proven to cause temporarily insane outbursts in young men between the ages of 24 and 36, a condition that has led to many a Jersey beatdown, but Chino sounds good with his verses, which should count for at least a little something. 

 

17. DON'T SAY A WORD 

With the beat and the hook, I had to do a double take to make sure that I hadn't accidentally switched over to a Little Brother album. The peaceful-by-comparison instrumental doesn't provide an effective contrast. 

 

18. CHINO FANS (SKIT) 

... 

 

19. IT'S MY WORLD 

Probably the closest we will ever come to hearing Chino XL rhyme over a DJ Premier beat (at least, on a Chino XL album, anyway). Thankfully, should the opportunity ever rear its clean-shaven head, Chino comes off as more than capable. 

 

20. ASS-IN-AN-INSTANT (FEAT MARY ANNE) 

This interlude is pretty damn senseless. A couple of funny lines isn't enough to warrant repeat listenings. 

 

21. CHIANARDO DI CAPRIO 

I probably could have easily read the title alone and come to the same conclusion, but no, I had to actually listen to it. And guess what? This track sucks balls. 

 

22. (UNLISTED SKIT) 

... 

 

23. HOW IT GOES (FEAT SAAFIR) 

Hearing Saafir say "Trick bitch, I'm an astronaut" is pretty funny, and it completely made my day, even though that boast is as random as a motherfucker. (How that is supposed to be considered "random", I will never know.) This collaboration is pretty damn decent. 

 

24. BE HERE 

This sounds uncharacteristic of Chino XL. It's a tale of Chino and his sugar mama, played out over a beat that is reminiscent of Cru's "Just Another Case". I appreciate the fact that he tried to branch out, but this song is ultimately a misfire. 

 

FINAL THOUGHTS: Fucked-up tracklisting aside, I Told You So is, surprisingly, a step above Here To Save You All in pure consistency. Chino XL's rhymes still sound about the same, which is just fine, since he's not without talent, but this time around, the beats that back him up are (usually) on the level of their host. This provides for a very entertaining listening, even if most of the bullshit skits fall flat. 

 

BUY OR BURN? I think you should buy this one, provided you can find the fucking thing. Most hip hop heads probably turned away from Chino's general direction after Here To Save You All burned them, but he's deserving of a second look. 

 

BEST TRACKS: "Chino XL"; "Nunca"; "That Would Be Me"; "It's My World" 

 

-Max 

 

RELATED POSTS: Chino XL - Here To Save You All

Chino XL - Here To Save You All (April 9, 1996)

Chino XL (of the New Jersey XLs) is one of those underground rappers that probably would have made for a mean-spirited-yet-funny stand-up comedian, or possibly a mean-spirited-yet-jealous celebrity blogger, had he not discovered music. This music thing was destined to be, though: his uncle is Bernie Worrell of Parliament/Funkadelic, so it could be said that creating music was in his DNA. I'm not sure that battle rapping was, but here we are.

Chino XL co-founded the group Art Of Origin, whose music, honestly, I have never heard even one note of. The critical response had to have been encouraging, though, since Chino quickly went solo, aided and abetted by Rick Rubin, who signed him at a young age to his American Records imprint, putting him in the company of the likes of Johnny Cash and The Nonce: credibility like that you just cannot buy.

Chno XL molded his punchlines and metaphors, sprinkled in a dash of intelligence (as of this writing, he's the only rapper I know that's an active member of Mensa), and released his solo debut Here To Save You All in 1996. The first time I had even read the name Chino XL in print was in the Fat Tape section of The Source, where his first single "No Complex" was listed as one of their monthly must-hears. Back in those olden days, you couldn't just look up any song you wanted to hear on the Interweb, so I reserved myself to the fact that I would never hear it and moved on. However, "No Complex" actually did get some airplay around my way. (Note to Chino XL's promotion team: I don't know how you got that song on the radio, but that was an impressive feat. Folks who have heard of the song prior to reading this post will know what I'm talking about.) And then, his video was played regularly on BET. Chino XL consciousness was at an all-time high.

And then nobody actually bought Here To Save You All, and Chino XL seemingly disappeared for several years, supporting himself by making sporadic cameos on the albums of fellow artists and deejays. He wouldn't release a second solo album until after Warner Bros. decided that he didn't fit the image of what American Records was aiming for (i.e., he didn't move units).

So what happened, exactly? What went wrong? I'll tell you in the form of an album write-up.

1. HERE TO SAVE YOU ALL
Yet another self-important rap album intro, this time featuring spoken word poetry, which I love. And by love, I mean this is fucking pretentious.

2. DELIVER
Chino XL jumps right into the album with punchlines that aren't as hard-hitting as I remember, but given the fact that this is the most boring Kutmaster Kurt instrumental I have ever heard, I assume that, if given better music, this song might have worked.

3. NO COMPLEX
As I mentioned above, I first heard this song on the radio. This track put Chino XL on the map, which is currently available at Barnes & Noble. This one song, which still sounds pretty good today, features more punchlines than Lloyd Banks's entire catalog, and they're delivered in a way that would put most battle rappers to shame. I'm still wondering who had chlamydia, though, since Warner Bros. felt it necessary to censor that portion of the song: anyone? Bueller?

4. PARTNER TO SWING
At this point, listeners will be immune to the punchlines spit by Chino, no matter how vile and funny they are, so your attention will shift toward the other song elements. If this beat doesn't put you to sleep first, the hook, one of the worst I have ever heard from a freestyle rapper with considerable skill, will force you to hit the skip button. The only other word I can come up with for describing the hook is "embarrassing".

5. IT'S ALL BAD
Despite the easy target that its title provides for me, I found this track to be pretty decent, if only because I liked Chino's observation that "time slips away like pop singles on the radio". I'm pretty certain that he constructed this missive specifically to get played on the radio, although that plan didn't work: Chino XL essentially lost all of his promotional backing after "No Complex" and "Kreep" failed to move units of Here To Save You All. (I'm thinking there were a couple more singles, but those are the only two songs I remember there being videos for.)

6. FREESTYLE RHYMES
A hit-and-miss freestyle-slash-stand up routine, with a simple drumbeat and some utter bullshit that serves as the unnecessary chorus. Would have sounded better as one long verse: not every single song has to follow the verse-hook-verse-hook-verse structure. Are you paying attention, record labels?

7. RIIIOT! (FEAT RAS KASS)
Ras Kass just barely outshines Chino here, but you won't notice or care, since the beat sucks as much as most of the other shit Rassy chooses to spit over, and besides, you'll have already moved on to "Waiting To Exhale".

8. WAITING TO EXHALE (FEAT GRAVITATION)
Gravitation is apparently the name of a short-lived crew that Chino XL formed with rapper/producer B-Wiz (who also produced the majority of Here To Save You All) and Raggedy Man, which is just a hilarious name. However, unlike most weed-carrier-heavy misfires, this song is actually pretty good. Chino is obviously the best rapper here, but this song proves that a dash of Chino can go a long way. Thank God the beat switches up completely before the rappers tear shit down.

9. WHAT AM I?
When Chino focuses on a specific topic (such as his internal struggle with racial identity, being half black and half Puerto Rican while living in a predominantly white neighborhood), he's pretty fucking enjoyable to listen to. This song, as a result, is pretty good, except for the female voice that occasionally pops up to finish Chino's sentences, which is just an annoying effect.

10. FEELIN' EVIL AGAIN
The beat sounds like some happy-go-lucky shit, contrasting poorly with Chino's punchlines. He alienates so many random targets in the entertainment industry that it's not surprising that the last time I saw him working was in an episode of Reno 911, playing an inmate.

11. THOUSANDS
I don't know how many times I can complain about the beats on Here To Save You All, but here's another one: the beat just doesn't match the artist. Chino's weak attempt at what passes for a chorus also hurts my head. As he was probably forced by his label to create "songs" instead of setting a bunch of freestyles to music, you would think they might have hired someone to help him write some hooks.

12. KREEP
The song itself is very bland, but at least there's one guy in hip hop that's listened to Radiohead since their early days. (Another rapper that hearts Radiohead would be Bun-B, of UGK. I really have to find a UGK album, dammit.) I remember the video version of this song being completely different from what I'm hearing right now. While not actually better, it was at least different.

13. MANY DIFFERENT WAYS
"I'm knocking n----z out as if they were homosexual boxers"? That simile doesn't even make sense. The beat is more than decent, with its low-grade bass and thumping drums, but, on this track, what passes for a hook is some Z-grade DJ Premier-imitation scratching that beats the song to death.

14. THE SHABBA-DOO CONSPIRACY (FEAT KOOL KEITH)
This is one of the most bizarre collaborations I have ever heard. From the beats to the rhymes, it's obvious that this is, without question, a Kool Keith song that happens to feature a hapless Chino XL, who spends the duration of the song trying to keep up with the random shit that Keith manages to make sound like verses. Chino does alright for himself in the end, but Keith, who is my favorite rapper that makes no sense (even Ghostface Killah's songs make sense most of the time), doesn't even bother to rhyme his lines, and as a result, walks away with what is ultimately a terrible song.

15. GHETTO VAMPIRE
What starts off as a ridiculous monologue about Chino XL being an immortal turns into a not-so-scathing indictment of everything that sucks the life out of humanity (the media, drug dealers, Paris Hilton). The metaphor doesn't work, but I appreciate the concept that Chino was aiming for: illustrating that his character indeed lives forever by spitting each verse to a completely different beat, with the second one winning the race.

16. RISE
Chino tries to say something socially conscious to end his debut album, but the song itself is so fucking dull that I'm going to dismiss the entire five-minute-plus song with one word. My two readers will know which word I am referring to.

If you allow the CD to play beyond track sixteen, then you are rewarded (tortured?) with a bonus skit at track sixty.

60. HIDDEN TRACK
Some tasteless jokes at the expense of Nicole Brown Simpson round out the album.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Here To Save You All suffers from the dreaded Ras Kass disease, which is why I suppose it makes sense that he pops up on here. (As for the Kool Keith cameo...maybe Chino XL really is a vampire and the only man that can protect us is an alien gynecologist who specializes in cross-breeding mammals and insects. Or maybe they're just good friends, I don't know.) Chino has obvious lyrical talent but hasn't developed a musical ear just yet: freestyle rapping can only take you so far when it comes to creating a successful album. The most interesting songs on here are easily the ones where he focuses on a topic. Alas, even if he didn't specialize in punchline rhymes, the beats betray his every intention, which will cause you to look elsewhere.

BUY OR BURN? There isn't any real reason to own this album. If you're a fan of punchline rapping and would rather punch Lloyd Banks in the face than listen to his shitty CDs, you may want to burn this disc, but otherwise, life is too short.

BEST TRACKS: "What Am I?"; "No Complex"; "Waiting To Exhale"

-Max