EPMD - We Mean Business (December 9, 2008)

The nine years it took for EPMD to properly follow-up their never-really-referred-to-as-a-retirement album, Out Of Business, were eventful. For starters, the duo left their longtime label home, Def Jam Records, with their protégées Reggie “Redman” Noble and Keith “Keith Murray” Murray soon following, as the House That LL Built chose to chase current trends instead of building up the artists they still had. Erick Sermon managed to achieve the solo success he had been seeking ever since the seminal duo broke up way back in 1992, likely before a lot of you two were even born, thanks to a record deal with Clive Davis and the industry clout that name commanded , which helped clear a sample through the estate of Marvin Gaye. I’m telling you, it was downright weird to hear the Green-Eyed Bandit on pop radio in the daytime. Meanwhile, his rhyme and production partner Parish “PMD” Smith retreated even further into hip hop’s underground, collaborating with relative unknowns and even reforming his Hit Squad collective, releasing an album, 2004’s Zero Tolerance, that aimed the spotlight at his newer charges, but managed to secure cameos from the likes of Redman and Erick Sermon, who had famously spun off into the Def Squad after the divorce. The underground is where PMD remains to this day, as he chooses to work alongside, among others, foreign-based producers that have the essence of hip hop built into their DNA. Or something. Look, you figure out a way to describe the Snowgoons in shorthand and maybe I’ll use it.

Oh, and their third member, DJ Scratch, bailed on the entire operation.

EPMD - Out Of Business (July 20, 1999)

1999 was a funny year for Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith. They had already seen their duo, EPMD, both break up (for reasons I've already documented elsewhere and am too tired to retread) and reunite, all to the tune of dollar signs and cash register chimes, as their fans rushed to snatch up any release from the seminal team (but not necessarily any of their solo offerings, at least when it came to PMD). That reunion project, Back In Business, went especially far in rebooting EPMD for a new era within our chosen genre, one where multitudes of funk samples were overridden with New York street talk and gloomy beats, and both Erick and Parrish acquitted themselves quite nicely. It helped that neither man had ever left hip hop during their group's hiatus, obviously.

So the only thing that remained was to retire.

EPMD - Back In Business (September 23, 1997)

When EPMD broke up in 1992, it was a shock, mainly because back then there was no such thing as a Twitter feed where one could air all of their dirty laundry to a fanbase that doesn't necessarily give a shit.  The Interweb also wasn't quite so prevalent, so even though Erick and Parrish lived through their nightmare in real time, the rest of us had no idea what had happened until after it had already transpired.  Parrish Smith robbed, allegedly with Erick Sermon's involvement?  Sermon's eventual defection, taking with him an untested Reggie "Redman" Noble, while PMD retained the already quite popular Das EFX?  All of this came out of nowhere, as did their eventual reunion only five years later.

PMD - Bu$ine$$ I$ Bu$ine$$ (October 22, 1996) / "It's The Pee '97" Maxi-Single (April 8, 1997)

The last time PMD appeared on HHID, we were discussing how his solo career was necessitated by his need to get the fuck away from the negative influences his former partner-in-rhyme Erick Sermon exposed him to.  The breakup of EPMD was brought about by the mismanagement of money, specifically PMD's money being mismanaged right out of his home by a group of thieves who he believed were hired by Sermon.  There still haven't been any answers as to what really happened, but in 1996, two years after his solo debut, Parrish Smith still must have believed that his former friend was a two-faced evildoer, as he continued his solo quest by releasing his sophomore project, Bu$ine$$ I$ Bu$ine$$, which was, clearly, obsessed with the concept of money, specifically the money that he allegedly lost.  

Or something.

PMD - Shade Business (September 27, 1994)

One of the many side stories running concurrently on HHID is the saga of EPMD, the rap duo made up of rapper-slash-producers Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith.  This Brentwood pairing is responsible for some of the catchiest, funkiest, and sample-heaviest early hits in hip hop history, and through them came the careers of K-Solo, Das EFX and the incomparable Redman, all of whom were members of Erick and Parrish's Hit Squad collective.

After four relatively successful albums, EPMD broke up in 1993 under suspicious circumstances.  Parrish Smith's home was broken into, and when the cops questioned the suspects, one of them dropped Sermon's name as the man who hired him to perform the robbery.  Combined with the fact that The Green-Eyed Bandit had publicly complained about PMD's mismanagement of the duo's royalties, and the groundwork was set for the duo to split the fuck up.  Sermon quickly regrouped and unleashed his solo debut, No Pressure, later that same year, launching the solo careers of Keith Murray and the aforementioned Redman in the process (folding them into his newly-created Def Squad, who I'm sure you've all heard of), and his hastiness resulted in a second life that is still running strong (sort of).  

On the other hand, PMD laid low for a couple of years, quietly releasing his own solo debut, Shadé Business, on PMD Records, a subsidiary of RCA.  Regardless of the fact that the album title continues the "business" theme that all of EPMD's albums worked with, this project was Parrish's attempt to rewrite history, casting himself as the wronged man who sat idly by while his crooked partner (alleged, anyway) reaped the rewards of his work.  This might be an almost literal translation: it's been said that, although the production on the four EPMD albums were credited to both men (and their deejay, DJ Scratch), Smith was the main contributor on the first three efforts, although everyone seems to give E-Double the props, mainly because he's the one who continued to produce after the fact.  As such, PMD produced nearly all of his solo debut, and called in favors from Das EFX (the rippity-rappity duo who stood by Parrish's side throughout the turmoil) and some no-name weed carriers who he found living on his couch.

Shadé Business (yes, that is the actual title) is split into two halves: the "Darkside", which consists of the first seven tracks, and the "Zoneside", which supports the rest of the album even though zoneside isn't a real word.  Although hip hop heads seem to be cognizant of its existence, nobody seems to admit that they actually like this album: in fact, a lot of folks either pretend PMD's solo career was a terrible, lucid dream, or they choose to look at his second album, Business Is Business, as an alternative debut.  Either way, I haven't listened to this shit in at least fifteen years, so let's see how this goes.

1. SHADÉ BUSINESS

First song on the album, and Parrish Smith already sounds out of breath. His flow hardly resembles the hardcore edge he brought to EMPD's efforts: instead, he sounds like a grizzled veteran who can't be bothered to sync up to the beat. PMD's bars are easy to understand, mainly because his lines are so elementary that he probably had an assist from his nine-year-old nephew. Not a good way to kick things off. It probably didn't help that our host's instrumental is a meandering loop that never finds its destination. Anyone hoping to hear Parrish's thoughts on the breakup on this title track will be hard-pressed to find a direct answer on here. Also, why the fuck didn't he just call this song (and the album) “Shady Business”? Trying to be all fancy and shit.

2. IN THE ZONE

If the beat on “Shadé Business” was meandering, then PMD's work on “In The Zone” doesn't even bother to get out of bed in the morning, it's that fucking lazy. Parrish's flow sounds a bit better on this track, but his braggadocio sounds forced when he doesn't have somebody to bounce it off of. This is the second song in a row where our host mentions being an underground artist: dude, everyone knows that EPMD sold a shit-ton of records. Merely saying that you're “underground” doesn't make it so. I kind of enjoyed the few bars where he explains that his ailing mother inspired him to work hard at this rap shit, but that was about it. Also, the twelve-year-old boy in me first thought that the sample during the chorus was saying, “Back rub / Boy, go easy with the hand lotion”, which is much more interesting than what the song is actually saying.

3. STEPPIN' THRU HARDCORE

People who like to read too much into thinks (such as myself) may believe that the line that ipens this track, “Them n----z knew that shit before it happened!”, is PMD's way of telling the listener that he hasn't forgotten about the reason why EPMD broke up. Considering that the rest of “Steppin' Thru Hardcore” fails to follow up on this conspiracy theory, it's likely that the line was a bone tossed at longtime fans and nothing more. Sadly, there is nothing remotely hardcore about this track: the instrumental is all dull thumps while it walks in place, and Parrish continues his lyrical downward spiral. I never once thought that Erick Sermon was the better rapper of the duo, but right now I'm remembering why I didn't care much about PMD until the reunion album Back In Business.

4. RESPECT MINE

This was all sorts of pretty fucking terrible. PMD's verses disprove any theory that he was ever an actual good rapper at any point: he's undergone a de-evolution that is evident from his first two bars: “I hear my people calling me, 'Where is he?' / 'Where is he?', 'Where is he?', The PMD”. Yes, he just recited “Where is he?” three times in succession. The instrumental creeps along without ever committing, and the “chorus”, made up of two sound bites (including a distorted one from the Wu-Tang Clan's “C.R.E.A.M.”, which gives the song its title and is absolutely the worst use of a sample from that track that I have ever fucking heard) which are difficult to decipher. The extended intro was also useless, as it has fuck-all to do with this song. Groan.

5. HERE THEY CUM (FEAT. DAS EFX)

Skoob and Krazy Drayzy Of Das EFX provide the first sparks of life on Shadé Business with their hyperactive performances, which are easily the most interesting on the album thus far. Parrish Smith is outclassed by his invited guests with his embarrassingly amateur verses that betray the fact that he was once a part of one of the most popular duos in hip hop history, but at least Das EFX elevate the track to a listenable level. The line, “Oh my God, it's the [Hit] Squad / Or should I say, what's left / Just let me kick the shit and we will see who's really Def” (emphasis my own), is one of the only direct references to the split on this entire album, and even that is relatively chaste. Still raise your glasses for the first song (well, half of the song, anyway) that still holds up seven years later. “Here They Cum” (with a misspelled title that switches up the meaning from what PMD intended) also features one of the goofiest (and most memorable) examples of cutting together two separate sound bites and making a chorus out of them: Parrish uses a line from both Willie D.'s verse from the Geto Boys's “Mind Playing Tricks” and from Scarface's “Mr. Scarface” to create this fucking gem: “'Here they come, just like I figured' / '...and came back with a motherfucking hit squad!'” Catchy as all hell, too.

6. BACK TO THE RAP

The tame instrumental sounds exactly like what EPMD would have rhymed over back in 1994, so I should throw some points Parrish's way for consistency. Or not: it's not as though these mythical “points” are tangible items that can be projected in any direction, as that would just be silly. PMD loses his leverage in our chosen genre by pairing a great message (rappers should respect both the institution of hip hop and their fans) with a bland performance, one that name-drops just enough EMPD tracks to prove that our host really has a problem with letting things go. It doesn't help that “Back To The Rap” seems to consist of PMD's very first appearance behind the mic, too. Bleh.

7. I'LL WAIT (FEAT. ZONE 7)

It's been a long time since I listened to PMD's solo work, so I had completely forgotten about how fucking dope DJ Scratch's instrumental on here is. There is no way in hell that E-Double would ever feel comfortable over this bleak-as-shit beat: only Parrish Smith has the capability of not becoming lost in it. And in that respect, he does alright, even though he is cockblocked at every turn by Zone 7, a relative unknown (both back then and presently) that blows him out of the fucking frame with an energetic performance and a batshit-crazy rhyme delivery system. I was willing to overlook PMD's contribution merely because the beat overrides everything else on the final product, it's that good.

8. I SAW IT CUMMIN'

Again with the obsession of ejaculation? Anyway, before any residual goodwill can set in, PMD presents this horseshit, with its overused Ohio Players “Funky Worm” sample that he doesn't even sound comfortable rhyming over, which leads one to wonder why he would have ever agreed to this in the first place. Maybe this could be considered an attempt to get the West Coast audience on board: the vocal samples from Snoop (Doggy) Dogg's “Who Am I (What's My Name?”) and Ice Cube's “No Vaseline” certainly support this theory. The title makes you think that PMD will finally address the breakup of EPMD, but he takes the high road on here, which would be commendable had that been what anybody actually wanted to fucking hear. Just let it out, man; you know you want to.

9. SWING YOUR OWN THING

A thousand times meh.

10. FAKE HOMEYZ (FEAT. 3RD EYE & TOP QUALITY)

Our host's beat was pretty good, and the scratching was an excellent touch, but all of the rhymes on here fucking blew. Parrish Smith has had a serious problem trying to stay on beat throughout Shadé Business, but on “Fake Homeyz” (whose “chorus” seems to almost celebrate your phony-ass friends), he recruits Top Quality and 3rd Eye (better known as producer Jesse West), two weed carriers who also can't stay on beat, and the track is a failure as a result. At least Das EFX elevated the material they were forced to deal with: there's a reason why you don't remember anybody in the rap game named Top Quality or 3rd Eye.

11. PHUCK IT UP SCRATCH (INTERLUDE)

Apparently Parrish also retained custody of DJ Scratch, and as a reward for his loyalty, he is gifted with a track dedicated solely to his work behind the ones and twos. Not that any of you two should ever listen to this shit or anything. But I figured it would be nice to know that this interlude exists.

12. BACK UP OR GET SMACKED UP

Marks the second time PMD has mentioned the Go-Bots on Shadé Business. And that also serves as a metaphor for why Parrish Smith's solo career never really took off: he backed the wrong horse. (If you were given a choice between Reggie Noble and one of the members of Das EFX, who would you run with? That's right, it's Redman all day.) The beat sounds pretty intense, and a better rapper would murder the shit out of it, but in addition to refusing to stay on beat, PMD also attempts a double-time flow for part of this song, and I was left scratching my head. This was a joke, right? No, seriously, what was this?

13. THOUGHT I LOST MY SPOT

This Mark the 45 King-produced effort makes the convincing argument that, not only has Parrish Smith lost his spot, he makes it seem like he never deserved one to begin with. This is especially true during the end of the final verse, when our host starts using random words for no reason (such as “flipmode”, even though Busta Rhymes wouldn't be seen within five hundred feet of Shadé Business). Sigh.

14. NO SHORTS AND NO SLEEP (FEAT. 3RD EYE, TOP QUALITY, & ZONE 7)

Shadé Business ends with this posse cut ode to pantsless insomnia, proving why Erick Sermon's Def Squad demanded a crew album while Parrish Smith's Hit Squad is barely whispered about in hip hop circles today. All of PMD's weed carriers (same for Das EFX, who were smart enough to bounce before they were officially asked to contribute) sound fucking godawful over this throbbing instrumental, but their host, who is supposed to swoop in and outshine them all, fares no better. This was a lackluster ending to a lackluster ending, but fuck it, it's still an ending, so I'll take it.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Had PMD's only recorded work been his solo debut Shadé Business, then the man would have vanished from our chosen genre without a fucking trace. His misguided attempt to erase the memory of EPMD from the subconscious of his fans is plagued by (mostly) bland production and cameo appearances from guys who had no right to ever pick up a microphone, but the real problem lies in PMD's own performance, which is so disjointed that Erick Sermon won the battle without lifting a finger (or even really declaring a war, for that matter). It's disheartening to hear a guy who sounded so focused and forceful on four consecutive EPMD albums stumble over his own words on his solo debut: it's almost as though E Double's success with his own solo album No Pressure shook our host's confidence so badly that he actually forgot how to write a rhyme. Shadé Business is a terrible album that deserves to be forgotten. Yeah, I said it.

BUY OR BURN? Neither. You would be okay to ignore this album entirely, but if you absolutely must hear something from PMD today, go with the track listed below. The chorus will make you smile, at least.

BEST TRACKS: “Here They Cum”

-Max

EPMD - Unfinished Business (1989)

After striking gold with their 1988 debut release Strictly Business, Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith, who perform together as EPMD with the assistance of DJ Scratch (their former partner in crime), quickly recorded the follow-up, Unfinished Business, which hit store shelves less than a year later. Like its predecessor, Unfinished Business featured songs that used so many samples from other compositions that I'm surprised that Erick and Parrish managed to retain writing credits, and also like its predecessor, it sold over half a million copies, which made their label, Fresh/Sleeping Bag Records very happy for approximately five minutes, before the financial strains hit: EPMD's contract was later sold to Def Jam Records, who would release their next four albums.

Unfinished Business hit the scene at a time when hip hop was not about bragging about your past as a drug dealer or getting the chicks on the dance floor, so many of you two readers may be prone to avoid music such as this. Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith built their careers off of feel-good music (made so thanks to the varied samples they utilize) that are chock-full of boasts and Vitamin C. Hopefully, the Strictly Business review actually connected with a few of you, but if you think you already know what to expect from their sophomore effort, you're dead wrong.

That was a bit dramatic, I know.

1. SO WHAT CHA SAYIN'
Take away Erick Sermon's newly-formed confidence behind the mic, and this song sounds like an outtake from Strictly Business. The lyrics sound good (there's nothing of substance here, but the presentation is remarkable), but musically, the track seems to be about five or six samples short of a full house.

2. TOTAL KAOS
DJ Scratch's, um, scratching of the PMD vocal sample sounds awful: it seems the intention was for the vocal, which doubles as the hook for this track, to sound a bit ominous, but the sound wasn't cleaned up, and it ends up coming off as simply distorted, as if I were listening to Unfinished Business through speakers made out of two tin cans and some chicken wire. Subtract that weak-ass element, though, and this song is really fucking good, even if the first boast provided by both artists (about you being a “NR”, a “non-rapper”) falls pretty flat.

3. GET THE BOZACK
One of the things that Dame Grease did well when he produced DMX's “Get At Me Dog” was bring the B.T. Express sample (from "Everything Good To You (Ain't Always Good For You)") that was also featured in “Get The Bozack” to the forefront, so that it blasts out of your speakers, becoming the epitome of a Tunnel banger. (Or, at least I assume so, since I don't live in New York.) In contrast, this song lets the rappers dominate, as the music plays in the background almost as an afterthought: considering the confrontational feel of the track (and the numerous amounts of bozacks being gotten by individuals), a few tweaks would make this song a classic. It still isn't bad, though.

4. JANE II
Hearing Erick Sermon alternate between playing himself and “Jane” is pretty unsettling (and awfully ridiculous, if you think about it: Erick Sermon is no Positive K). Due to the short running time, this track doesn't really advance the Jane storyline much, but it sounds alright.

5. PLEASE LISTEN TO MY DEMO
Over an instrumental that, oddly, lifelong fans of Kris Kross may recognize from their blue period, Erick and Parrish get serious for a bit, giving listeners an idea of what they had to go through before copping that record deal. It's short, sweet, to the point, and not bad at all.

6. IT'S TIME TO PARTY
Raise your hand if you remember what Cappadonna's “Love Is The Message” sounds like. (You realize I can't see you while you're reading the blog, right?) Here's the same MFSB sample (from their own "Love Is The Message"), with some extra effects layered in, which do their darnedest to convince you that, yes, it is time to party. While the final product sounds decent enough, there are also long chunks of silence from our hosts, leaving the song sounding incomplete.

7. WHO'S BOOTY
Absurd title aside, I didn't care much for this track.

8. THE BIG PAYBACK
This is one of those undisputed EPMD classics, and for good reason: this shit is great. It may not get as much airplay as “You Gots To Chill” during flashback lunch hours, but in many ways, this is the better song, especially since E and PMD rip shit in their own special way.

9. STRICTLY SNAPPIN' NECKS
This track's sound is slow and low, and awfully simple, but I've always dug it. The beat is perfect for punctuating the braggadocio from our hosts, even after you realize that they aren't doing anything on here but threatening people with the titular act of violence.

10. KNICK KNACK PADDY WACK (FEAT K-SOLO)
One aspect of 2Pac's “California Love” that I never really understood was the clearance of the Joe Cocker sample, which also appears on here: how was Death Row Records able to release the song to radio and MTV, but unable to actually put the song on 2Pac's album? Anyway, EPMD clearly sidestepped the entire issue with their weed carrier, K-Solo, who sounds better on here than both E and PMD combined. Or, at least ,he does until all respect for him goes out the window when he starts spelling shit (this is the infamous track in which he misspells the word “bird”). Curiously, one of his “fucks” appears on the song, but the other is censored. And his verse fades out before the song is over. Groan...

11. YOU HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK (FEAT FRANK B.)
This track is about seven minutes and nineteen seconds too long. This public service announcement, disguised as an EPMD song, about the dangers of drinking is fucking stupid, and not only because I like to drink. I don't wish this song to be inflicted upon even my worst enemy.

12. IT WASN'T ME, IT WAS THE FAME
Erick and Parrish present precautionary tales about the perils of fame (in their own way), but the entire six-minute-plus song is derailed by the use of the David Bowie sample (if you re-read the title, you'll be able to guess which song is used, and no, it isn't “Hallo Spaceboy”), which works for David Bowie, but not for anybody else. Oh well.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Unfinished Business plays as, well, an unfinished album. I would be convinced that the disc was cobbled together using Strictly Business outtakes and Bazooka Joe chewing gum, had Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith not insisted on referencing the success of their debut on nearly every fucking track. In the case of approximately one-third the album, the songs sound like some important element is missing; another third comes off as overproduced. EPMD manage to find a happy medium with a handful of tracks, but, sadly, this disc isn't as consistently entertaining as Strictly Business (and that CD had a fucking house song on it), which makes it a surprising disappointment.

BUY OR BURN? Even with that last paragraph, though, I would recommend that you purchase this, but just barely. The great songs on here are actually enough to override the bullshit, but be forewarned: there is a lot of that on here.

BEST TRACKS: “The Big Payback”; “Strictly Snappin' Necks”; “Total Kaos”

-Max

RELATED POSTS:
EPMD - Strictly Business

EPMD - Strictly Business (1988)

EPMD released their debut album Strictly Business, on Fresh/Sleeping Bag Records in 1988. It spawned multiple hit singles and escaped from the clutches of retailers to the tune of over half a million sold. It is generally considered to be one of the greatest hip hop albums of all time, but sadly, that distinction seems to primarily come from critics and bloggers these days, as the kids these days, what with their not having respect for their elders and all, seem to have absolutely no idea who EPMD is.

If you fall into that category, my two readers, then allow me to take this opportunity to learn you something.

-EPMD is made up of Brentwood, New York resident emcee/producers Erick Sermon (if you've read this blog with any regularity, you have to have heard of him) and Parrish Smith. The group name allegedly stands for Erick & Parrish Making Dollars, but that doesn't explain why Erick only gets one letter in the group name (he alternates between the aliases E Double and the Green Eyed Bandit), while Parrish's rap name is PMD.

-They produced the entirety of Strictly Business, and are often credited with being among the first rap artists to pilfer rock and funk tracks to create their beats, which resulted in hip hop moving toward a completely different sound. Erick Sermon, especially, would parlay this ability into a long-lasting career as a producer that is still in full force today.

-EPMD created many of the classic songs that your favorite rappers cite as influences. In fact, if you just sat down and listened to Strictly Business, I guarantee you will have heard of at least four of these ten tracks if you follow hip hop at all, as they continue to receive airplay during old-school programming blocks.

-EPMD discovered Reggie Noble, which is but one of their many lasting contributions to the musical genre we know and love. To a lesser extent, they are also responsible for Das EFX, K-Solo, Hurricane G, and Keith Murray, but we shouldn't hold that against them.

-EPMD will perform at mitzvahs, both bar- and bat-, for a set fee, plus all of the bologna they can eat, which usually causes tension with the party hosts, as bologna isn't usually on the menu.

End refresher.

1. STRICTLY BUSINESS
No useless rap album intro here: Strictly Business gets straight to, um, business. Once the beat, featuring samples from Eric Clapton's "I Shot The Sheriff", kicks in, I swear to God you'll actually feel both amped and relaxed, with the knowledge that Erick and Parrish know what they're doing. I imagine this even sounded like a classic rap song back in 1988.

2. I'M HOUSING
I never cared for this track.

3. LET THE FUNK FLOW
If you hated Nas's "Nastradamus" as much as I did (and you should, because it sucks), rest assured that EPMD got to the beat first and handled it as best they could. Nice touch with the Beastie Boys sample.

4. YOU GOTS TO CHILL
This song, one of the no-bullshit classics in their catalog, was inexplicably left off of their greatest hits compilation (the one that was packaged with their last album to date, Out of Business), replaced with an inferior remix commissioned by the powers that be at Def Jam in 1997. That's a fucking shame, but I guess that was the label's sneaky way to get listeners to seek out the back catalog.

5. IT'S MY THING
Two songs that rap producers never tire of sampling are "Seven Minutes Of Funk" by Tyrone Thomas and the Whole Darn Family, and Bob James's "Nautilus". While you can clearly hear the sample from the former, I'm convinced that "Nautilus" is chopped up and inserted into every rap record ever created, so I'm sure it's here somewhere. I always enjoy hearing Erick Sermon telling off a competitor by advising him that "you ain't jack".

6. YOU'RE A CUSTOMER
Could have done without the "Fly Like An Eagle" sample, but otherwise, this song rocks. The back and forth between E and PMD is entertaining as shit, and for anyone that didn't already know, PMD's final verse on here was re-utilized as his hook contribution on Def Squad's "Countdown".

7. THE STEVE MARTIN
PMD does his best to create a new dance craze based on, of all people, my favorite author/comedian Steve Martin, and fails miserably. Not because the song is bad, mind you; in fact, it's quite good. It fails because PMD (in a tongue-in-cheek fashion) instructs dancers to act like the title character in The Jerk, which nobody would ever want to do, even if they were drunk.

8. GET OFF THE BANDWAGON
The beat fucking rocks, as it is the perfect accompaniment to Erick and Parrish's denouncing of fairweather fans. I had to play this song three times in a row, since I kept getting too caught up in the song to actually write this commentary.

9. DJ K LA BOSS
A showcase for the duo's deejay. Loved the fact that he cut some of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" into the mix, specifically samples of Vincent price's creepy-ass laughing.

10. JANE
Ah, the beginning of an era. The conceit of this track is that PMD was just about to deliver the masters of Strictly Business to the label, and Erick stops him at the door because he still needs to talk shit about a girl. I laughed out loud at how PMD doesn't even bother to try and introduce the Jane character properly, hilariously mispronouncing her name just to make the line rhyme. (Although they're dissing her because she made fun of their prowess in the sack, so I'm sure it was intentional.) A pretty good way to end your debut album.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Strictly Business is considered a classic debut album for a reason. Erick and Parrish come running out the gate as cocky-ass emcees, but with the talent that backs up their boasts. The album even still sounds good from start to finish, with the exception of "I'm Housing", which I just don't like, so sue me; whatever, nine out of ten songs rock. EPMD would go on to a fruitful career, break up, and ultimately reunite in 1997, and I'm sure I'll get to reviewing the second album approximately nineteen years from now.

BUY OR BURN: Seriously? You need to ask? Any reader of this blog that considers themselves to be a serious hip hop fan needs to buy this album. Give it a spin and reminisce about a time when hip hop was about the music, not the negative stereotypes. I realize I just asked my two readers to possibly reminisce about a time in which they didn't even yet exist, but that's your damn problem.

BEST TRACKS: All except "I'm Housing"

-Max