Handsome Boy Modeling School - So...How's Your Girl? (October 19, 1999)

As a full-blown fan of both Dan "The Automator" Nakamura and Paul "Prince Paul" Huston, you would have thought that I already reviewed their ridiculously-themed high-concept duo Handsome Boy Modeling School several years ago, but the truth is that I chose to focus on other shit. Not because this duo loses their appeal when they work together: far from it. I'm just lazy. But I'm trying to fix that now, so I'm interrupting this current string of Reader Reviews to bring you an article about the duo's first album, So...How's Your Girl?

Handsome Boy Modeling School was an experimental project originally funded by Tommy Boy Records, one which explored hip hop through a skewed, materialistic eye, with an emphasis on vanity, self-absorption, and consumerism. At least, that's what the Automator and Prince Paul wanted critics (and listeners) to believe. In reality, these two production geniuses (lauded for their work with Kool Keith and De La Soul, respectively, although they have branched out significantly) used the facade of a Handsome Boy Modeling School curriculum (as noted by the album cover) and the new personas of Nathaniel Merriweather (Dan) and Chest Rockwell (Paul) to present sixteen tracks of noteworthy collaborations with rappers (both better-known underground stalwarts and complete unknowns) and vocalists ranging from Cibo Matto's Miho Hatori to Sean Lennon. Okay, that range isn't really that much of a stretch, but you get the idea: this project was deliberately aiming for a cult audience, especially when you note that one of the guests isn't even a real person, but a recurring character from Saturday Night Live.

Dan and Paul were inspired by an episode of comedian Chris Elliott's Get A Life (a sitcom that lasted on Fox for approximately three minutes), specifically the one in which Elliott's character enrolled in the Handsome Boy Modeling School. (Convenient, huh?) This wasn't the first time Dan Nakamura turned to Chris for inspiration: the Bulk Recordings version of Dr. Octagonecologyst (his collaborative work with Kool Keith and DJ Q-Bert, and the one which led to his rise to prominence) features a scene lifted from the film Cabin Boy before the hidden track "halfsharkalligatorhalfman" begins. I had expected Dan to sample Elliott's cameraman in Groundhog Day for a future project, but I'm still waiting. As such, So...How's Your Girl? comes off as more of an Automator project with assists from Paul, who still manages to leave his trademark humor intact.

I used to work in the back office of a retail store, and since it was typically boring as shit back there, I frequently supplied my own soundtrack. Lord knows how many goofy looks I received when anybody flipped through my CD book (yes, kids, we used CDs back then) and found one labeled 'Handsome Boy Modeling School'. You would have thought that those people would have dismissed it as a goofy name for some alternative-emo-rock quartet or something, but instead, I just received questionable shakes of the head. (And yet, today people buy albums from groups called Death Cab For Cutie, Panic At The Disco, and SouljaBoyTellEm without batting an eye.) My future wife, however, actually took the time to listen to the fucking album (which is probably one of the reasons why I married her), and soon realized that not only was it hip hop, it was creative hip hop. Well, most of it is, anyway: there really isn't such a thing as a perfect album anymore.

Here's hoping that Tommy Boy Records (or whomever handles their distribution now) sees fit to celebrate the ten-year anniversary of So...How's Your Girl? with a remastered product. And yes, I said ten fucking years: did you read the date in the post's title? Yes, I feel fucking old. I'm going to go off and have a good cry.

1. ROCK 'N ROLL (COULD NEVER HIP HOP LIKE THIS)
This is a pretty good way to introduce your project. I think the video is hilarious, with Paul and Dan standing in the street holding wine glasses of increasing sizes. I'm probably not remembering that correctly, though.

2. MAGNETIZING (FEAT DEL THA FUNKEE HOMOSAPIEN)
Del makes the first of two appearances on the album with a song that may just be a leftover from the Deltron 3030 studio sessions (it doesn't sound happy enough to be a Gorillaz leftover, you see). It's not anything you'll want to bump in your ride, and after one listen you may not want to hear it again anyway, but it's alright.

3. METAPHYSICAL (FEAT MIHO HATORI & MIKE D)
This song is just goofy, but it's still good. I remember reading a review back in the day that compared Miho Hatori and her spoken-word claptrap to something Kool Keith would use as a verse: that's a pretty fair statement. Mike Diamond's ramblings will make you wish that Hot Sauce Committee Part 1 wasn't just pushed back (best wishes to MCA for a speedy recovery), but the total package still delivers.

4. LOOK AT THIS FACE (OH MY GOD THEY'RE GORGEOUS)
The backing music is good, but Chris Elliott's dialogue gets old after a while.

5. WATERWORLD (FEAT ENCORE)
I seem to recall Encore parlaying this guest appearance into at least two solo albums, both of which may have been critically acclaimed: I never paid any attention to the guy after this album, mainly because The Automator had nothing to do with his discs. This song is alright: it has a unique sound, as if the song were actually produced in the same location as that shitty Kevin Costner film, but Encore's rhymes are the definition of backpacker-vague.

6. ONCE AGAIN (HERE TO KICK FOR YOU) (FEAT GRAND PUBA & SADAT X)
This is just an awesome song. Kudos to Paul and Dan for turning a vocal sample from a relatively upbeat Three Dog Night song (“Old Fashioned Love Song”) into something that sounds creepy as fuck. Sadat X outshines his Brand Nubian partner on here, but the shit still rocks.

7. THE TRUTH (FEAT J-LIVE & ROISIN MURPHY)
A great change of pace. Roisin Murphy slows shit down to a crawl, with a sound that can be described as jazz bar lite with an electronica twist, not unlike one of the two female vocalists in Ladytron, but with much better pipes. It makes sense that the non-rapped portions of this track were used in promos for Mad Men about a year ago. Speaking of rapping, J-Live also impresses. I really have to find his albums in my crates. And yes, I'm fully expecting some jackass to say “You don't have any fucking crates” in the comment section.

8. HOLY CALAMITY (BEAR WITNESS II) (FEAT DJ QUEST & DJ SHADOW)
A deejay cut that's actually a sequel to what DJ Q-Bert pulled off on the Dr. Octagonecologyst album. As deejay cuts go, this is a good one, but the original “Bear Witness” is the more enthralling listen.

9. CALLING THE BIZ (FEAT BIZ MARKIE)
Prince Paul tends to go out of his way to include Biz Markie on all of his projects. Here, the Biz makes a cameo on an interlude. Entirely skippable.

10. THE PROJECTS (P JAYS) (FEAT DEL THA FUNKEE HOMOSAPIEN & TRUGOY THE DOVE)
The first single I heard from this project (the first single anybody heard, actually), but it took a while for it to grow on me. (As an Automator and Prince Paul stan, I tend to buy their albums regardless of what the first singles sound like, because I will inevitably end up liking something.) Its appearance on the soundtrack for Ocean's Eleven (the remake, obviously) clenched it for me. Now it's one of my favorite tracks on here, as the interplay between Del and Trugoy is just a joy to listen to.

11. SUNSHINE (FEAT FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI, JOSH HADEN, MONEY MARK, PAULA FRAZIER, & SEAN LENNON)
When I first bought So...How's Your Girl?, I gravitated toward “Once Again (Here To Kick For You)” and “Sunshine”, and I still love this song today. It's just fucking peaceful (even with the odd commentary from a recurring character from Saturday Night Live), and the vocals are a great match to the relaxing beat.

12. MODELING SUCKS
The thing is, I actually watched the episode of Get A Life where Chris Elliott's character enrolls in the Handsome Boy Modeling School. And it was boring. The Automator could have mixed together Yanni breakbeats underneath this dialogue, while Paul sampled fucking Zamfir playing the pan flute, and it still would improve upon the source material. (Not to say that Chris Elliott isn't a funny guy: I usually like his work, and his daughter, now on Saturday Night Live herself, is pretty cute, but that doesn't really have anything to do with Chris himself.)

13. TORCH SONG TRILOGY (FEAT SENSATIONAL)
I liked the beat, and the scratched-in vocal sample instructing me to “set this bitch on fire” was a nice touch, but I just simply did not care for Sensational's rhymes. He comes off as inexperienced, as if he were enticed off the street into the vocal booth with the promise of a bag lunch and a Capri-Sun. He also sounds as if he stood too close to the mic when he recorded his (overly long) verse.

14. THE RUNWAY SONG (FEAT KID KOALA)
Deejay Kid Koala's contribution to So...How's Your Girl? sounds like a bunch of nothing. This would have made more sense if it were the intro to this album, although it may have caused you two to turn this shit off and move on to another disc, so I suppose there's no winning here.

15. MEGATON B-BOY (FEAT ALEC EMPIRE & EL-P)
I always thought that this song wasn't a good fit, since it sounds nothing like anything else on here. The music is loud and obnoxious, the lyrics are barely coherent (thanks to the noise), and as an overall song, it doesn't fucking work. El-P (late of Company Flow and the genius producer of Cannibal Ox's The Cold Vein) has done better work, as has Alec Empire (founding member of Atari Teenage Riot, a group name I hadn't heard for at several years before researching this album). As it's the last actual song on this album, it's very disappointing.

16. FATHER SPEAKS (FEAT FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI)
This outro is just funny. Fans of Saturday Night Live will be more amused than the average hip hop head, though.

FINAL THOUGHTS: So...How's Your Girl? Has the usual misfires that a collaboration of this magnitude tend to suffer from, but The Automator and Prince Paul are fucking brilliant artists that are able to overcome almost any obstacle. The slower tracks definitely rate among its finest, and the deliberate focus on lesser-known rappers is a plus (although the inclusion of the El-P song derails this train towards the end). Overall, as a compilation, it works, although it occasionally comes off as intentionally quirky (see: the Get A Life-inspired interludes) and precious, somewhat like a Wes Anderson film. So if you're not really a fan of films like Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, or The Darjeeling Limited, you'll probably not care for this one, either. But if you're especially adventurous, or if you're the type that drives hundreds of miles to another city to watch an independent film that has no shot of ever seeing a release in your backwards non-art-loving city, then So...How's Your Girl? could be seen as the sonic equivalent of that experience.

BUY OR BURN? I recommend a purchase. You shouldn't seem so shocked: this is Prince Paul and The Automator we're talking about, of course. There's enough greatness on here to completely overshadow the bad.

BEST TRACKS: “Sunshine”; “Once Again (Here To Kick For You)”; “The Projects (P Jays)”; “Metaphysical”; “The Truth”

-Max

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