June 16, 2008

Diversionary Tactics: A Distraction In Two Parts

MAX'S THOUGHTS WHILE READING THE TRACKLISTING AND PRODUCTION CREDITS FOR LIL WAYNE'S THE CARTER III, WITHOUT ACTUALLY HEARING THE ALBUM ITSELF:

-I can't believe this album is tracked to sell over one million copies in its first week. Isn't that the first sign of the apocalypse?

-Did anybody ever really think that this kid from the Hot Boys, back when Cash Money Records was a fledgling start-up, would actually become the most popular rapper in America? Anybody? Hands? Put your fucking hands down, you're all a bunch of liars.

-Lil Wayne took over radio airwaves in such a subtle manner that nobody realized it until it was too late. Now everybody just believes that Wayne has always been popular, and the world has been tricked into thinking that The Carter III is actually a "highly anticipated" album, when in fact nobody actually knows why Wayne is so popular.

-Holy shit, The Alchemist has a beat on here? Did he miss an installment at his kid's private school or something?

-Babyface? Where the hell has he been?

-The "A Milli" beat is not the best rap beat of this or any year. Even its own producer, Bangladesh, feels that it was something that would have made more sense as a mixtape interlude. It just goes to show that everybody's taste in hip hop has been dumbed down to such a nub that something as repetitive and mishandled as "A Milli" is actually considered a good song. Hell, Dwayne Carter doesn't even pay attention to the fact that the vocal sample is saying "a milli"; he takes it to say "I'm illy", which makes about as much sense as "a milli", granted, but still.

-The title of "Let The Beat Build" reminds me of Shawn Carter's command to "Let that bitch breathe!" on American Gangster's "Success". Which I'm sure was the point, even though producer Kanye West didn't have anything to do with the Jay-Z track.

-Speaking of Kanye, while I still hate "Lollipop" with every fiber of my being, I do appreciate the point on its remix where Kanye drops all of the bullshit come-ons and declares that he's going to rap "like [he] has respect for [himself]", unlike everyone else that rhymes on a track with the hip hop hobgoblin. Sadly, that list includes a lot of your favorite rappers, all of which apparently have such low self-esteem that they feel jumping on a track with this kid from Louisiana will help their own careers.

-Brainwashing can be a scary thing, my two readers.

I've actually received more than one request to review The Carter III as one of My Gut Reaction posts. Now, let's be honest here: there is no way in fuck I'm going to buy this thing. However, if enough people actually request it, I have no problem trying to procure it through my local library (they actually carry it: I've already checked, just in case) and giving it a listen, although I will probably have to seek medical attention when my ears start bleeding. Now is the time to start leaving more comments, folks; otherwise, I go on living a carefree, Wayne-free life. (Bear in mind, if there is such a write-up, it wouldn't happen until August, because of what I'm about to tell you below.)

COMING SOON TO HIP HOP ISN'T DEAD:

-In July, I'm going to attempt something this blog hasn't seen before: thirty-one write-ups in thirty-one days. That's right, one post a day. And to make it even worse on myself, every single post will be of an album that can be considered the first in the featured artist's catalog. Some of them will be reviews you two have been waiting on since the inception of this site, and some of them will be about albums that you won't care much about at all, but at least it won't be boring. Be sure to leave some comments, so that all of this work won't go unappreciated, especially if you'd like the frequent posts to continue, um, frequently.

-Also, in August I plan on devoting a week to nothing but female rappers, a demographic which, I will admit, I have been lax on discussing from day one. (I admit that the Foxy Brown 'Drink Coasters' post doesn't actually count.) I'm looking to change that, though. Now, I have a couple of ideas as to who to include, but I'm looking for suggestions. Leave some comments, or shoot me an email at the address on the right.

-In fact, if anybody has any suggestions for Hip Hop Isn't Dead, have an album that you would like to be considered, just want to say hello, or whatever, the email address is open for a reason.

Stay tuned.

-Max

23 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 16, 2008

    just want to see your opinions on carter III, although i know it will be tough for you to go in unbiased. definetly agree on no one seeing this coming from his hot boys days. looking forward to that review.

    ReplyDelete
  2. wow! can't wait for july!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice one. I'm sure me and the 'other' reader would appreciate you giving better value to your time, like talking to ants, flipping a bird at a bird, buying a microscope to spend time petting a human-friendly bacteria etc, than reviewing Carter III. Im sure anyone who'd want your review is only looking forward to the newer methods of insult you'd be able to produce.

    That being said, Chino XL, JMT's Violent By Design (Ive only heard good, but Im sure you can come up with something bad), 7L Eso's early works, would be my suggestions for reviews.

    Anyway, good going lately.

    Regards,
    EyeSee.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I request you NOT to borrow that CD from the library. Because it will be terrible. I JUST DON'T GET IT! How on earth do people actually find something rate never mind rave about?! It is trash. I heard a fair few tracks on the radio...now when the Beasties muffled and distorted their voices, but when Lil Wayne and whoever is responsible for pitching and vocoderising and generally just messing up and already messed up voice...there is nothing there...nothing. Not Art. Nothing....garrrrrrrrrrrr

    Some people...giving bloggers a bad name.

    ReplyDelete
  5. yeah, i know this is against your "regulations" but you could try and download the album. that way you would waste nothing except bandwidth... and you wouldn't do Wayne any favor since more than a million people are buying this! lol but hey, it's your choice. i for one enjoyed the album despite the wack tracks. all a matter of opinion i guess...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Phil Watts, Jr.June 16, 2008

    At the end of the day, IT'S YOUR SITE. You don't have to answer to nobody, and you don't have to listen to Lil' Wayne if you don't want to. I'm pretty sure that if you decide not to, you'll probably get millions of comments on some HATER-HATER-HATEY-HATEY-HATE shit, but whatever. There's no way you can convince them anyway so why waste the time?

    ReplyDelete
  7. A few female MC's to review:

    Jean Grae
    Champ MC
    Boss
    Yo Yo
    Bahamadia
    Sweet Tee
    Mc Lyte

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hmm, I'm kinda done with all the Wayne hate, but I'm hoping you can give a somewhat unbiased opinion. I don't think he's really your thing, but once you cut past all the bs that he's put out in the last year (auto-tune shit and 101 phoned in versions of just about the same 16 bars) I think there's a lot of good in Wayne. He's ambitious, has his own style and does his own thing. He'll rap about street hustlin yada yada yada one song and about something completely bizarre that only he could the next. I personally find his sense of experimentation refreshing in a culture that often seems content with coming up with a new phrase that means "get money" or "gey pussy."

    ReplyDelete
  9. the most felonious vocalist in the wide world of showbusinessJune 16, 2008

    I think it would be funny if you reviewed The Carter 3 (I will not indulge his pretentiousness and use Roman numerals). I imagine it would be similar to when you were writing about the singles chart or radio airplay chart or whatever the hell those lists of shitty FloRida songs were. However, I think your time would be better spent reviewing material that might possibly result in you recommending a purchase. I will say that I enjoyed Weezy's verse on Hollywood Divorce from Outkast's Idlewild and Fly In from The Carter 2.

    As for the lady rappers, I feel like Jean Grae has the strongest catalog. I also suggest J. Period's Best of Lauryn Hill Vol. 1 which features the best of her emceeing. Volume 2 is worth checking out but it's just singing. I'm not sure if these mixtapes meet your requirements for a review but they are very good and I feel like Lauryn Hill the rapper merits inclusion in any "spotlight on the ladies" feature. The same probably goes for MC Lyte. Rah Digga can rap too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Big plans, Max... Go on!

    I'm waiting for some Geto Boys, Scarface etc reviews, I can't wait for the day of reading about these hardocore (old school) masters...

    I can't suggest you to leave Lil Wayne out, do what you feel to.

    - Kay -

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJune 17, 2008

    Some first albums to review... just off the top of my head

    AZ - Doe or Die
    Big L - Lifestylez ov da Poor & Dangerous
    Black Milk - Popular Demand
    Blu & Exile - Below the Heavens
    Bone Thugs-N-Harmony - E 1999 Eternal
    Chino XL - Here to Save You All
    Consequence - Don't Quit Your Day Job

    ReplyDelete
  12. OK, I do agree with the most felonious...whatever. It WOULD be funny to read your review. If you could point out any positives I'd be happy to try get with that.

    Jean Grae.

    Now, you really are gonna have to change your many references to 'my 2 readers' to 'my 10 readers' from now on...I'll be checking!

    ReplyDelete
  13. NO MORE JAY-Z.

    ENOUGH ALREADY. WE GET IT.

    HE HAS MONEY. HE HAS HOOD STATUS. HE'S THE DOPEST EVER. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

    PUH-LEASE.

    You want my request for an album review? Dead Prez's Let's Get Free. 100% Guaranteed not to make your ears bleed.

    And it won't kill your brain cells either, like listening to Jay-Z is known to do.

    ReplyDelete
  14. FoolyMagoolzJune 17, 2008

    Joe Budden - Mood Muzik series.

    Re-Up Gang - We Got It 4 Cheap series

    As for ladies... ugh, Jean Grae, MC Lyte.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Yo, I stumbled across your blog and wanted to say I dig the reviews, they are pretty informative for someone just getting into hip hop.

    Personally, I think some Public Enemy reviews would be cool.

    ReplyDelete
  16. the most felonious vocalist in the wide world of showbusinessJune 18, 2008

    I agree with the AZ and Big L suggestions for premiere album reviews and would like to add Slick Rick, Grand Puba, 2pac, Heltah Skeltah, Lord Finesse, Immortal Technique, Dr. Dre, Das Efx, Binary Star, Wordsworth, De La Soul and Ice Cube. If we're including newer music, how about Joell Ortiz?

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousJune 18, 2008

    I actually bought the cd just a couple of days ago and I aggree, it's not good. Although he did come up with some funny lines now and then, and there also some catchy beats here and there. I think the biggest problem is him making more money then far more talented artists, just because his audience is probably to young and/or stupid to know how to download music in general.

    But Im really looking forward to all those reviews Max! Greetings from your 2 readers from Holland!

    P.s. If you guys wanna make some money, bet your dollars on Holland winning the European Football championship, cause we're seriously killing 'em right now!

    ReplyDelete
  18. My suggestions for your review pleasures:

    - Common: Resurrection, One Day it ll all make sense, Like water for chocolate (but beware, its my fav rap album ever period without question so say 1 bad thing and its open fire! :D)
    - Pharoahe Monch: Internal Affairs
    - Organized Konfusion
    - Prince Paul: Prince among Thieves
    - Cannibal Ox: The Cold Vein
    - Rawkus Records: Soundbombing 2
    - Blackaliscious: Blazing Arrow

    and dont foget to get Jean Grae and Rah Digga in your female MCs post... peace!

    ReplyDelete
  19. There is this female MC named Invincible that has gotten a lot of buzz recently, just came out with an album titled "ShapeShifters," so you may want to check her out. Jeanius leaked. For your 31-day project, you should definitely review Operation: Doomsday. I did a breakdown on my blog (partly inspired by your review format, actually) and declared it a classic, I have a feeling you'd disagree, but I'd like to hear your thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh, and since you seem to have a taste for great yet obscure mid-90s releases, you might want to cop Extra Prolific's "Like It Should Be." Very nice, laid-back jazzy stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Every time you post about Lil' Wayne, it is always quite funny thanks for that. I do not know how people listen to him. His voice is annoying as hell.

    I'd like to hear what you think about anything from Jedi Mind Tricks or any of there affiliates. Jean Grae would be cool just got really into two weeks ago.

    Well I am going to get back listening to some stuff that you recommended. I did just read every post over the last couple days

    ReplyDelete
  22. Max,

    Little Kim's debut album was surprisingly good. I'm not sure if you've reviews Lauryn Hill's solo album, but it counts as rap.

    Dessa, from Doomtree, has released songs on Doomtree's album.

    Ms. Dynamite also rapped on her debut, though I'm not sure if it'd count.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I really hope it's not too late to request tha carter III, because I would love to hear your opinion about that album

    ReplyDelete