Diversionary Tactics: Ten Things On Max's Mind

I'm currently working with a sinus infection. The antibiotics have kicked in, so let's see how long I can last.

1. Kanye West claims on his blog that he's been using the vocoder ever since The College Dropout, and has no plans to stop anytime soon, regardless of how over the vocal effect has been for, say, the past year. That would mean that "Through The Wire" might be the only Kanye song that wasn't recorded with a vocoder, and that may only be due to the fact that his fucking jaw was wired shut. Hopefully 'Ye will catch up to the rest of popular opinion soon, because "Love Lockdown", the first single from his new album, kind of sucks the balls. I can handle Kanye not rapping on his next opus, but I can't relate to music not sounding good. The drums that kick in sound really great, though. For those keeping score, that is now officially two first singles from Roc-A-Fella artists (Kanye and Jay-Z), with albums dropping in December 2008, that don't sound very good.

2. M.I.A. actually has a top ten Billboard pop single with her "Paper Planes": who knew that Pineapple Express wielded that kind of power? (And yet, the song is not in the actual movie. All of this stemmed from its prominent appearance in the trailer.) You would think that she would have been more popular in the States, because she's kinda cute, but I suppose the radical militant terrorism talk is an effective deterrent to album sales. Anyway, the first sign that M.I.A. is starting to get played out comes to the hip hop genre in the form of "Swagger Like Us", a ridiculous posse cut featuring Kanye West, Lil' Wayne, T.I., and Jay-Z, none of whom sound comfortable over the shitty beat that simply loops M.I.A.'s vocal over some barely-registering drums. I understand that this song was originally intended for T.I.'s Paper Trail, but has apparently been dropped, and Shawn Carter is planning on running with it for The Blueprint 3. Truthfully, this song would be better off in sample clearance hell, but given the star power involved, I'm sure these fuckers could rhyme over seventy-two Beatles samples all mashed together and still have enough money left over to purchase the planet Earth.

3. Yes, I have Royce da 5'9"'s The Bar Exam 2, just like the rest of you two, but due to circumstances beyond my control, I have yet to listen to it. Please don't spoil the ending: I want it to be a surprise.

4. In listening to Funplex from The B-52s, I realized that "Juliet Of The Spirits" sounds exactly like a New Order song from the Waiting For The Siren's Call era. In fact, if you replaced Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson's vocals with Bernard Sumner, it would probably be the next New Order single. I realize this has nothing to do with hip hop, but I don't really care: I like New Order.

5. Here's the video for the Dr. Dooom single "R.I.P. Dr. Octagon". I'm a fan of Kool Keith's alter ego (First Come, First Served has some awesome moments), but this song is pretty terrible. I'm actually afraid of what the new album will sound like. However, the video is pretty gruesome and gory, and even though it looks like the budget was negative twenty dollars, it at least looks cool.

6. I'm attempting to put together another post involving free tracks from both unsigned and signed artists, so if you are looking for some exposure, or just like seeing your name in print, hit me up at max.hiphopisntdead@gmail.com, and I'll do what I can. Also, I'm putting the call out to my two readers for suggestions: I'm looking for more female emcees to review, artists that have only ever released one album during their entire career (and I'm not talking about newer artists), albums that I should review in general, complaints regarding past reviews - I'll take them all. Shoot me a message and I'll appreciate it.

7. My wife is suffering through the complete series DVD for My So-Called Life, with Claire Danes and Jared Leto, pre-30 Seconds To Mars, and I have to say: my god, that chick is whiny as shit! Unfortunately, she's the main character, so you can't not watch her. I think I understand why the show got cancelled in the first place. In contrast, a show that shouldn't have been cancelled is Paul Feig and Judd Apatow's Freaks and Geeks, which my wife and I just finished watching in full. The show is still fucking great today, and it's interesting to see that essentially all of the actors have moved on to more prominent roles today (shit, even Samm Levine will appear in the new Tarantino movie). Seth Rogen's acting comes off as completely wooden at first, but a few episodes in, he lets his hair grow out into that curly Jew 'fro, and all of a sudden he's able to handle drama. Who knew?

8. If Edgar Wright ever got around to really making this movie, this shit would rock. I know that this trailer for Don't! was taken from Grindhouse, a flick that nobody watched, but it's still awesome. And Arrested Development's Will Arnett has a great voice for, um, voiceovers.

9. Blur's "Coffee & TV" played on my work's satellite radio the other day, and I couldn't get the image of the milk carton out of my head, so here you go.

10. Finally, I'm putting all of my two readers on notice: November 2008 is the next stunt-blogging month. I already know what I'm writing about, and even though I won't actually tell you about it, I have no doubt that you'll be able to figure it out quickly. Just mark your calendars.

Stay tuned.

-Max