My Gut Reaction: Eminem - Relapse (May 19, 2009)

May 19, 2009 will probably go down in history as one of the biggest days in hip hop album release history. No less than six rap-related discs dropped today (there were probably more, such as the freebie from Donny Goines that dropped today on all of the blogs, but these are the quote-unquote "major" releases). There's the album for mixtape fiends (DJ Drama's Gangsta Grillz: The Album Vol. 2), the disc for the streets (Sheek Louch (from the Lox) with Life On D-Block), the album that nobody even realized was coming anytime soon (Freeway's Philadelphia Freeway 2, which I will admit is bizarre timing, since I just wrote about the first volume in what is now a series, and even I had no clue Freeway was coming out with another album), the release by a major artist whom nobody that follows hip hop gives a fuck about anymore (Busta Rhymes, with Back On My B.S.: and yeah, I went there), the project by two older hip hop heads who Max secretly hopes will somehow move units in spite of lack of promotion from their label (Method Man and Redman's Blackout! 2, which I will write about on the morrow), and the album from one of the biggest rappers in the fucking universe, one of the most highly anticipated discs of the year, Eminem's Relapse.

After the release of Encore five years ago (an album that Max hasn't gotten to yet, and for a damn good reason, I might add), Eminem succumbed to drug addiction, and spent lots of time trying to get clean and rehabilitate himself. He backed off from the spotlight, only sporadically appearing in guest cameos, all of which were held to a ridiculously high standard that Marshall wasn't able to uphold. After getting clean, he re-taught himself how to write a rhyme, and recorded Relapse in an effort to re-prove to the world that he was still a capable artist. The title Relapse can be seen as a reference to his pill addiction, but I choose to look at it as a warning that Eminem has reverted back to his Slim Shady masochistic mode, a persona who dominates the project. Accompanying him in the sidecar is producer/mentor Dr. Dre, who produces all but one song on this disc, making this the only project he's done so on since his own 2001.

Was it worth the wait? I don't know, let's see.

1. DR. WEST (INTRO)
Marshall's acting has gotten much better since The Slim Shady EP, but considering that this introductory skit has the same ending as its cohort in Marshall's past life, you only need to hear it the once. This skit features, or all people, Dominic West from The Wire (or 28 Days, if you're into that sort of thing). Anybody else thing it would have been interesting if the "Dr. West" of the title was played by a certain egotistical producer? If so, raise your hands.

2. 3 A.M.
The third single, whose video had so much (implied) violence that it premiered on Cinemax instead of MTV. Marshall's attention to the most minute of details renders this a disturbing, drug-fueled ride into the mind of a guy who plays a homicidal maniac on television. The hook is very bad, though. The shot of Em in the clip sitting in a bathtub filled with blood is interesting imagery, though. If this were a movie, it would be released by Lions Gate Entertainment, with its trailer premiering ahead of all copies of Saw VI.

3. MY MOM
Dre's beat sounds like he barely tweaked his own "What's The Difference?" and sold it to Marshall at full price. At least Em discusses the elephant in the room right at the beginning of his first verse (where he mentions that he realizes everyone is probably sick of hearing him talk about his mother). The song itself is a lot more personal that you would expect, especially when Marshall has an epiphany and comes to terms with the fact that he's almost exactly like his mother. Huh.

4. INSANE
So is the alleged incest and abuse referred to on "Insane" anywhere near true? Who knows? But this track is most certainly not for the feint of heart. I choose to believe that Em is bullshitting for shock value's sake, but I will admit that his flow during the second verse is about as ill as H1N1. Am I the only person who's noticed that both Eminem and Asher Roth, white rappers who essentially compete for the same audience and have mainstream appeal, have mentioned Teddy Ruxpin on their 2009 albums? Is it because "Ruxpin" is fun to say? Because it is.

5. BAGPIPES FROM BAGHDAD
The now-infamous track in which Marshall professes his love for Mariah Carey and physically threatens Nick Cannon (her betrothed) in the process. Yeah, I can't imagine why Nick took this song personally. The title makes no fucking sense, unless you look at it in a "Em probably heard the beat in the studio and thought it sounded like bagpipes in Baghdad or some shit" kind of way. Unnecessary, but it sounds interesting, and Em bobs and weaves throughout the instrumental admirably.

6. HELLO
Dre's beat is not bad at all, although it is overly simplistic. My suspension of disbelief is already shot to hell, though, since I know that Marshall isn't popping pills like he used to anymore. And since it is physically impossible for Eminem to rhyme "normally" anymore (read: without resorting to some kind of accent), it should be noted that he doesn't sound bad on here.

7. TONYA (SKIT)
...

8. SAME SONG AND DANCE
There was really no reason the first verse had to repeat the same events that transpired in the skit that preceded it. However, the song wasn't bad, since Em takes on his own well-worn concept of rapping about pop tarts and twists it in an absurdly macabre way. You're left wishing that he would turn his attention back on other rappers, though.

9. WE MADE YOU
The second single. I've already discussed why this track doesn't work for me (the chorus talks about "rock stars" who only exist because we, the general public, choose to pay attention to them, but Marshall's incessant need to name drop celebrities, most of whom aren't actually rock stars, fucks the whole concept up), but I will add that, since my original editorial, I've watched the video, and although it was mildly amusing, this song still blows cock.

10. MEDICINE BALL
The best Dre prescription I've heard on Relapse so far. Good thing Marshall tries to fucking ruin it with rhymes that will most certainly offend his come-on-you-know-they-exist gay following. (Note to Marshall: singing "I guess it's time for you to hate me again" on the chorus doesn't negate the questionable remarks.) I picture other rappers swiping this instrumental to further their mixtape careers, though, as it sounds that good.

11. PAUL (SKIT)
Really, Marshall?

12. STAY WIDE AWAKE
A psychosexual nightmare. "Psychosexual" because of Marshall's torture-porn tendencies with members of the opposite sex: this is probably the most lyrically flexible horrorcore available in stores now. "Nightmare" because this song is fucking awful. At this point, I've grown tired of Slim Shady slaughtering suckers for shock value purposes. Was hip hop really missing this?

13. OLD TIME'S SAKE (FEAT DR. DRE)
Listen to this song if you want to hear Dr. Dre sound the most awkward he has ever come across on wax. Eminem may be reaching for a fanbase that no longer exists: music, especially hip hop, has grown a lot since Encore.

14. MUST BE THE GANJA
The lyrics on here are borderline really fucking stupid. However, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the chorus, which Marshall sings, is actually cheesy in a great way, almost salvaging the entire track. Admittedly, I'm not high as I write this, so maybe my clear-headedness is affecting my commentary.

15. MR. MATHERS (SKIT)
...

16. DEJA VU
At first, I thought I was suffering from deja vu because this beat sounds very similar to "Must Be The Ganja" (or, for that matter, almost every beat on here). Instead, Eminem takes the instrumental and turns it into his own version of "Lost Ones" / "Imagine" (i.e., the reflective Dr. Dre-produced song), revisiting his personal drug issues with a clarity that simply wouldn't be possible if he were still popping pills today. Not bad at all.

17. BEAUTIFUL
The lone Eminem-produced song (thank fucking God) is, surprisingly, not about his daughter: he turns the mirror on himself, and although his lyrics speak volumes, the chorus doesn't actually fit in with the song itself, especially the title, which seems to have been chosen simply so critics (like myself) would be forced to use the term "beautiful" when writing about Relapse.

18. CRACK A BOTTLE (FEAT DR. DRE & 50 CENT)
The first (horrible) single, and not just because Curtis Jackson bats cleanup. I admit to laughing whenever Eminem pronounces "Tahoe", but besides that, this song actually sounds worse today than it did upon its release, since it doesn't fit in with either the torture-porn, psychosexual, masochistic Slim Shady or the serious recovering-addict Marshall Mathers, both of who put in a lot of work on Relapse. Perhaps this should have been left as a bonus track on the next Curtis Jackson album instead.

19. STEVE BERMAN (SKIT)
Okay, the "Paul" and "Steve Berman" skits are clearly just included for continuity's sake, to tie all of the albums together. Eminem actually lays it on wax, though: he recorded two discs worth of material. Does this skit mean that Relapse 2 is already completed?

20. UNDERGROUND
Starts off sounding like a 2009 update to "Still Don't Give A Fuck" (from The Slim Shady LP), but then veers off into one of the worst songs I have ever heard from the guy. It's not even worth the effort involved to finish the song, since the homophobic Ken Kaniff skit that rounds things off is fucking useless, if only because it isn't funny at all. Not that Aristotle's Ken Kaniff was funny either, but it's fucking 2009: is this joke even considered necessary?

If you preordered Relapse from Eminem's official website (with some versions approaching $250...hell-o, Marshall, there's a fucking recession), you get to own two bonus tracks: "My Darling" and "Careful What You Wish For". I listened to both, because they leaked with the quickness, and I'll just say this: "My Darling" sucks, and the other one fits in better on Relapse than "Crack A Bottle". And so it goes.

THE LAST WORD: Eminem's Relapse starts off strong, but relapses into middling bullshit midway through, only occasionally coming up for air. I thought I knew what to expect from Slim Shady, but I was a bit off: apparently Marshall had spent his hiatus watching After Dark Horrorfest marathons and trying his best to come up with fucked-up shit to say, and dumbass sing-songy choruses to go with them. The disc is much more personal that it has any right to be: I was expecting a lyrical clinic from one of the best who has ever done it, but instead what I received was an exorcism on wax. One which is saddled with some awful rhymes and some of the most boring Dr. Dre beats in recorded history. I understand if Relapse doesn't sell gajillions of copies, it may spell the end of Shady/Aftermath/Interscope as we know it, and I would hate to see that many people losing their jobs in this economy, but with that said, you have to put out product worthy of the praise, pal. Maybe Relapse 2 will be better: Relapse isn't awful enough to make me ignore the rest of the man's career, but it isn't helping.

-Max

RELATED POSTS:
Pick up some M&Ms while you're out.