January 5, 2010

Handsome Boy Modeling School - White People (November 9, 2004)


Occasionally in the world of hip hop, critical acclaim carries the same value as actual currency. Just as it tends to happen in the realm of independent film, or damn near any other medium of entertainment, auteurs and artists who manage to score some well-deserved praise (and some who are just really fucking lucky) are often provided with the resources they need to ensure that lightning strikes twice, in the hopes that the act will succeed in turning a profit the second time around. At times, this idea actually works: had it not been for Bottle Rocket, Wes Anderson would never have been able to do Rushmore; Quentin Tarantino would have probably been forced to make a studio picture instead of Pulp Fiction had there been no Reservoir Dogs; and without The Room, Tommy Wiseau wouldn't have been give the opportunity to show up at sold-out late-night screenings of The Room (and make a shitload off of DVD sales).

That is the only explanation I can come up with to rationalize the existence of the second album by Handsome Boy Modeling School.

The production duo, made up of Dan "The Automator" Nakamura and Paul "Prince Paul" Huston, dropped a well-received but poor-selling debut, So...How's Your Girl?, on Tommy Boy Records, an act that was met with confusion and scorn by mainly just me: why, after all the shit Tommy Boy Records put him through, would Prince Paul immediately run back to them to release an album? (Besides the obvious contractual reasons, of course.) He created a group called the Gravediggaz whose first album, 6 Feet Deep/N---amortis, was dedicated to trashing that very label (albeit in a horrorcore-esque fashion)! Prince Paul was, at that point, the Joss Whedon to Tommy Boy's Fox; they kept fucking him over, and yet they were Paul's best choice for wider distribution.

For all intents and purposes (except financially), The Automator and Prince Paul were successful with their star-studded debut, creating solid tracks that still resonate with audiences today, many of them outside of the hip hop spectrum: you probably have friends who hate hip hop and cannot understand why you frequent a blog proclaiming it to still be relevant, and yet, they enjoy So...How's Your Girl? The entire concept of the duo, whose name was swiped from an episode of Chris Elliott's short-lived sitcom Get A Life, was based around the idea of a fake modeling school who trained its students to live a life of beauty, all while framing the multiple skits (and a couple of strange guest appearances by Father Guido Sarducci, proof positive that Paul and Dan love SCTV and Saturday Night Live) with songs that ignored the conventional constructs of beauty, instead choosing to redefine it on their own terms.

Five years on, the provocatively titled White People, Handsome Boy Modeling School's follow-up, found a home on Elektra Records. I'm not sure why Tommy Boy passed on the sequel (except for the fact that it most certainly would have lost them even more money), but what the former label home of Busta Rhymes and the late Ol' Dirty Bastard inherited wasn't a much easier sell: while still keeping the name and some of the concepts introduced on the original project, Paul and Dan elected to move everything into some kind of ridiculous hip hop Dating Game structure, which made for some awkward pauses while listening to the album, but some fucking hilarious impressions (more on that later).

The guest list stepped it up a notch, as well. Returning vets such as Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, El-P, and De La Soul (okay, technically only Trugoy was on the first project, so sue me) were joined up by the likes of The Rza, Chino Moreno of The Deftones, The Mars Volta, Cat Power, most of Linkin Park, Pharrell Williams (of The Neptunes), Lord FInesse, Mike Patton, and John Oates (of Hall & Oates), among others. Musically, Dan and Paul, already masters of meshing a beat around the style of its star, expanded upon what they brought to the tabel on So...How's Your Girl?, venturing off into even more playful territory. They even brought back Father Guido Sardicci (for no good reason), and reintroduced Saturday Night Live star Tim Meadows to the limited art-house audience that White People attracted.

Behind the scenes, however, things were very different this time around. Citing conflicts regarding how business was being handled, Prince Paul officially severed ties with The Automator shortly after White People dropped, making this the final time (at least as of this writing) that these two would ever work together. When White People tanked on store shelves, that just made it easier for Paul to walk away; while Dan Nakamura hasn't really released as many projects since then (there have been a handful, but most of them have nothing to do with hip hop), Prince Paul has been a workaholic, releasing albums as part of a cartoon dinosaur crew, a part of an abnormally names funk band, and as a seemingly long-lost member of West Coast stalwarts Souls Of Mischief.

Here's hoping they resolve their differences, because White People is no way to end a legacy.

1. INTRO (FEAT FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI)
As So...How's Your Girl? ended with a monologue from Father Guido Sarducci, it's only fitting for him to kick off the sequel. You'll never listen to this introductory track more than once, though, and even that is kind of pushing it.

2. IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU (FEAT DE LA SOUL & STARCHILD EXCALIBUR)
Even though this is a much more recent track, Dan and Paul make this sound as if this track was recorded during the 3 Ft. High & Rising sessions, which means this sounds really fucking good and even whimsical at times. Trugoy's third verse, in which he rhymes about his pen, is a standout. I'm still at a loss as to why De La never tried to get Prince Paul to even contribute a single track to any of their recent albums. If there is anything negative to say about this track, it would be that it does run a bit too long.

3. ARE YOU DOWN WITH IT (FEAT MIKE PATTON)
Less reminiscent of the work of Lovage (a group made up of Faith No More's Mike Patton, The Automator, and Jennifer Charles from Elysian Fields) and more so of the man's solo work (with a bit of Faith No More tossed in for good measure). Which means, simply, that this song sucks monkey taint juice. Through a twisty straw. In a fluorescent sippy cup.

4. THE WORLD'S GONE MAD (FEAT BARRINGTON LEVY, DEL THA FUNKEE HOMOSAPIEN, & ALEX KAPRANOS)
And the Handsome Boy players continue to draw from the well: “The World's Gone Mad” sounds like an Automator-helmed Gorillaz song that was never actually recorded, as it could have fit into their catalog right around the time Dan was dropped from the group by Blur's Damon Albarn in favor of Danger Mouse. The presence of Del only adds more emphasis to my theory, since he appeared on both the first Gorillaz album and the first Handsome Boy project (I'm leaving Deltron 3030 off of this list to make my point). Anyway, this song still sounds really entertaining today; Barrington Levy's voice sounds damn near majestic over Paul and Dan's beat work, taking this track over the top. Also, I'm a fan of Franz Ferdinand, so I was glad to see Alex Kapranos make an appearance, even though it seems as if he hardly did anything.

5. DATING GAME (FEAT HINES BUCHANAN, NEELAM, & TIM MEADOWS)
As I mentioned above, White People abandons the “modeling school” concept almost entirely, in favor of frank (and goofy) discussions about relationships with the opposite sex. At least, that's how I rationalize Tim Meadows reprising his Saturday Night Live character Leon Phelps (The Ladies Man) throughout the album, beginning with this skit. This interlude also features an impressive Jay-Z impersonation and a less convincing imitation of The Rza, neither of which comes from Meadows. It's funny, but you can't tell me you won't skip past it during future spins.

6. BREAKDOWN (FEAT JACK JOHNSON)
Whenever I think of Jack Johnson, I think of Andy Samberg on SNL wearing shoes that look like bare feet. My understanding is that this was an already-existing Jack Johnson track reconfigured for Dan and Paul's personal use, but thanks to their meddling, this is the only song in the man's back catalog that I will listen to willingly. It isn't perfect, but it is pretty smooth.

7. IT'S LIKE THAT (FEAT CASUAL) / I AM COMPLETE (FEAT TIM MEADOWS)
Casual, of the Hieroglyphics collective, is an acquired taste. I tend to appreciate his flow in small doses, so the fact that “It's Like That” is a solo Casual song doesn't help the cause any. Dan and Paul provide a beat which sounds alright, but it's a retread of concepts previously introduced on the first Handsome Boy album. “I Am Complete” is just a skit featuring The Ladies Man, which only serves to remind me of how far the man has fallen since his SNL years: there is no reason for him to co-star on The Bill Engvall Show. Since he had a featured role in Mean Girls, one would think that Tina Fey would throw him a bone or something. 30 Rock can always use a random guest appearance.

8. I'VE BEEN THINKING (FEAT CAT POWER)
This song fills the slot occupied by Roison Murphy's performance on “The Truth”, off of So...How's Your Girl?, so much so that it will probably be used to promote an hour-long drama on AMC that isn't Mad Men in a few years. There are some Cat Power songs I really like (side note: I'm still looking for her cover of Blondie's “Hanging On The Telephone” (originally recorded by The Nerves, although I like Blondie's version much more) that she recorded for a fucking cell phone commercial: if anybody can help, I would appreciate it), but this isn't one of them; this track crawls along on all fours so slowly that it falls asleep midway through.

9. ROCK AND ROLL (COULD NEVER HIP HOP LIKE THIS) PART 2 (FEAT DJ Q-BERT, GRAND WIZARD THEODORE, JAZZY JAY, LORD FINESSE, MIKE SHINODA, RAHZEL, & CHESTER BENNINGTON) / KNOCKERS (FEAT TIM MEADOWS)
Ostensibly a sequel to the introductory track from the first project, but this song features actual vocals alongside Grand Wizard Theodore and Jazzy Jay's praise of rock music. (Please note that I wrote “rock music” and not “rock and roll music”. There is a difference.) Mike Shinoda provides what is probably a lost Fort Minor verse from a song he hadn't yet written, while Lord Finesse chooses to remind listeners that he receives a royalty check every time a radio station chooses to relive memories of She's All That by playing Fatboy Slim's “The Rockefeller Skank”. Chester Bennington (Shinoda's Linkin Park partner) sings in his usual way, stretching his voice beyond all recognition, since the man cannot fucking sing, and his contribution doesn't fit in on White People at all, even though he is a white person. This pales in comparison to the original, and the Tim Meadows skit tacked on to the end was unnecessary.

10. THE HOURS (FEAT CHINO MORENO, EL-P, & CAGE)
I happen to like The Deftones, but I hated Chino Moreno's vocals over this lame approximation of a “rap-rock” beat by The Automator and Prince Paul. This happens to fill the slot of “annoying shouting over a bad song” that was previously filled by El-P and Alec Empire on the first album, which is why it's ironic that El-P appears on here alongside his Def Jux employee Cage. The track picks up when the they begin to rhyme, but by then it's too late.

11. CLASS SYSTEM (FEAT JULEE CRUISE & PHARRELL)
I know: I thought it was fucking weird when I read that Pharrell Williams was on a Handsome Boy Modeling School album, too. This rant against poor people (told from the point of view of a spoiled socialite, to be fair: I'm not trying to insinuate that Julee Cruise is playing herself, although it's not like I know her personally) is far deeper than anything else on White People, and as a result, it sounds out of place. I liked Skateboard P's singing (as he is freed from the blingy trappings of Neptunes production) and I ended up wanting to punch Julee's character in the fucking mouth, so in that respect, it's successful, if not very likeable as a song.

12. FIRST...AND THEN (FEAT DRES)
I liked the instrumental, but otherwise I didn't care for this one. Apparently, I'd rather hear Dres when he's rhyming with Black Sheep, instead of when he's all by himself. But you don't have to automatically agree with me: the choice is yours. (I know! Clever, right?)

13. A DAY IN THE LIFE (FEAT THE RZA, AG, & THE MARS VOLTA)/ GOOD HYGEINE (FEAT TIM MEADOWS)
With this, it can finally be written that Dan the Automator has worked with the Wu-Tang Clan, an event that I had been waiting for ever since I discovered the man's work on Dr. Octagonecologyst and the A Better Tomorrow EP. (To be fair, Prince Paul probably just picked up the phone and called in a favor from his onetime Gravediggaz bandmate, but still.) Too bad the track is the epitome of wasted potential. I don't understand why Prince Rakeem is always the go-to person for high-profile cameos on albums designed for critical acclaim (such as Intermission from the Soul Assassins, or Rasassination from Ras Kass): Masta Killa would sound better with Automator's backing. (That's a collaboration album waiting to happen, folks. Make it so!) Alas, the music here is boring, the Mars Volta fail to impress (admittedly, I've never paid much attention to any of their work, nor that of their previous incarnation, At The Drive-In), and Andre the Giant sounds sleepy. The Tim Meadows skits have also gotten old: I'm actually missing the Chris Elliott sound bites right now.

14. GREATEST MISTAKE (FEAT JAMIE CULLUM & JOHN OATES)
Fills in the hole that “Sunshine” occupied on the previous album, although to be fair, John Oates (of Hall & Oates fame) is a much bigger star than Sean Lennon, at least professionally. This easily makes for the most unexpected collaboration on White People. However, it boils down to a personal preference: I love “Sunshine”, and I find “Greatest Mistake” derivative and, to put it bluntly, pretty shitty. Take that as you will.

15. DATING GAME PART 2 (FEAT HINES BUCHANAN, NEELAM, & TIM MEADOWS)
The skit is corny, and it ends before you find out how it ends (by design, naturally), but it still manages to remind me of the interludes on the first De La Soul album. Kind of.

16. OUTRO (FEAT FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI)
Father Guido Sarducci supplies the outro yet again. However, this time around, The Automator and Prince Paul simply let the tape run while he ad-libs his ass off. And boy, is it dull as hell. It was a chore to sit through the entire track, but it was worth it, as I can tell the readers to never sit through the entire track. Kids, don't ever end your rap albums like this: you're likely to get your ass kicked.

FINAL THOUGHTS: With White People, Handsome Boy Modeling School has, unfortunately, decided to copy the formula of So...How's Your Girl? to the letter, instead of actually coming up with some fresh ideas. The Automator and Prince Paul still provide mostly above-average production, but this time around they play it safe with their collaborators, even when, on paper, they appear to be close to the edge: the collaborations with Chino Moreno, Mike Patton, and The Rza should have been much better. (In contrast, the verse from Chester Bennington was exactly as shitty as I was expecting.) White People not only abandons the actual “modeling school” concept almost entirely (Tim Meadows and Father Guido Sarducci briefly mention it during their monologues, and I do mean briefly), it also threatens to leave the fans of Dan and Paul behind. As big of a fan I am of both men, I'm almost thankful that White People was the final album from the Handsome Boy Modeling School, even though I'm fully aware that this album's failure to sell was not the reason for the break-up.

BUY OR BURN? This almost brings a tear to my eye, but this deserves a burn only. Dan and Paul tried their best with the beats, but their collaborators almost consistently fail them. If you happen upon the instrumental version of this album (which was released a few weeks after the actual album), you may want to pick that up, but this isn't essential in the least.

BEST TRACKS: “The World's Gone Mad”; “If It Wasn't For You”

-Max

RELATED POSTS:
The Automator's albums? Prince Paul's projects? Read about them by clicking on the artist's name.

7 comments:

  1. doesnt this make you want to review deltron 3030? you know you want to, stop trying to resist your natural urges!

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  2. I used to own this album, as well as So...How's Your Girl?, but the novelty didn't last long. I think you're dead wrong about "Day in the Life," I didn't care for AG's part but overall I see it as the best song on the album. Of course I love The Mars Volta and I've always wanted to see them work with RZA, especially after his collaborations with the Black Keys.

    However I was curiously struck by your recommendation of Masta Killa for an album full of that type of song. Of course!

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  3. this is so boring

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  4. ever notice that everyone automator works with drops him after getting burned in the long term? all i can say is bad business and karma...

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  5. WOW even though i don't agree with everything you wrote... I absolutely LOVE opinionated people!! good job

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  6. Hmm, Cat Power has always been one of my favorite musicians, and I fuckin love her song on here -- probably the only reason to own this CD. I never knew the Blondie cover existed. I now need to own it.

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  7. Hmmm, I love both albums. The truth is one of my all time favs. I'm a sucker for soulful female flavours and J Live is the most slept on rhyme sayer of all time.

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