Puff Daddy - Forever (August 24, 1999)

Oh, don't run away just yet. Stick around; you may actually enjoy this review.

Confession time: in 1999, I actually bought Forever, Puff Daddy's first actual solo album (as its predecessor, No Way Out, was promoted as a collaboration between Puff Daddy and the mysterious entity known only as "The Family"). I'm not ashamed to admit that I actually liked Bad Boy Records back in the day: The Notorious B.I.G. was the star quarterback, of course, but Black Rob held his weight while The Lox didn't completely suck, and Ma$e filled the role of showboating asshole quite well. Sean "Puffy" Combs played the part of the billionaire team owner who didn't quite understand that he wasn't talented enough behind the mic to actually play the game, but since he was fucking rich, nobody was about to tell him that he shouldn't try to become the best rapper of all time, and so Forever was born.

Forever is considered Puffy's first actual solo album because he appears on every fucking track this time around, filling many of the voids that would have normally been occupied by the likes of Ma$e and Black Rob, had they bothered to contribute to this project. (Ma$e had actually quit rap music to catch up with the Lord after his sophomore effort, Double Up, went belly up on the Billboard charts, and Non-White Robert just knew better than to get involved. Also, he may or may not have been in jail at the time.) To accompany him, and to draw attention away from the lack of skills present from the host, Sean paid off a bunch of ringers to make the overall effort sound better than it should, both behind the boards and on the mic: aside from No Way Out veterans such as Lil' Kim, Jay-Z, Busta Rhymes, and The Notorious Biggie Smalls, Puffy convinced the likes of Nas, Redman, Cee-Lo, Beanie Sigel, and Sauce Money to spit some verses, because, let's face it, money talks.

Forever hit the Billboard charts like a brick and sank just as quickly, proving that the cash machine that was Bad Boy Records was on the fritz. It hardly sold any copies, making Forever one of those rare occurrences in the hip hop world in which record sales and critical acclaim actually traveled along the same trajectory.

So, why did I even buy this album in the first place? It's important to note that I actually liked No Way Out upon my original purchase in 1997. I don't really like it now, save for a handful of tracks, but my judgment was clouded over by the experiences I had while listening to No Way Out. Which is a pretty shitty soundtrack to have playing in the background, mind you (save for the awe-inspiring "Victory", which should have been included on Life After Death), but sometimes you can like music because of the events that it reminds you of in addition to how good it actually sounds.

So, why am I writing about Forever in the first place?

Because I thought it would be funny.

1. FOREVER (INTRO)
It shouldn't surprise you that this rap album intro is far more serious than Puffy has the right to be. I'm actually appalled that the death of The Notorious B.I.G. is still being used as an example of something bad that happened to fucking Sean Combs. No wonder Voletta Wallace hates Puff Daddy.

2. WHAT YOU WANT (FEAT LIL' KIM)
Already, Forever was taken a turn for the mediocre. Sean doesn't seem to know if he wants to come across as aggressive, boastful, or simply anxious, and elects for a combination plate where the fried rice is soggy, the eggroll tastes like water, and the Kung Pao Chicken sounds like one of the worst fucking songs I've heard this year. No, really, that analogy works.

3. I'LL DO THIS FOR YOU (FEAT KELLY PRICE)
The radio-ready beats prevalent this far on Forever don't surprise me, given the host's artistic inclinations (read: he's out for the money); I would be a bit more concerned if Puffy insisted on purchasing beats from DJ Premier, Pete Rock, The Rza, and Easy Mo Bee for this project. The instrumental sounds like it would have made for a better fit with Pastor Mase, who is conspicuously absent on this album entirely, and Kelly Price cashes an easy paycheck by singing a completely forgettable hook that even she doesn't remember ever recording, but how else could she have purchased that wall-to-wall shag couch in her master bathroom? The skit tacked on at the end is simply unnecessary.

4. DO YOU LIKE IT...DO YOU WANT IT... (FEAT JAY-Z)
This Prestige-produced affair features a shiny suit-wearing Jay-Z, but he sounds pitch-perfect over this commercial attempt, and even Puffy sounds like a reinvigorated rapper (probably because Shawn Carter wrote his lyrics for him, but whatever). The hook is stupid, but this is a radio song, and for what it is, it's pretty good. Also, I'm not certain of this, but I believe this track contains one of Puffy's first references to his future P. Diddy persona. As if that actually matters.

5. SATISFY YOU (FEAT R. KELLY)
The infamous love rap for which Puffy jacked the same sample that made “I Got 5 On It” by the Luniz such a catchy fucking weed anthem for the 1990s. This song sucks, and including R. Kelly on a song where he brags about how he can satisfy your girl much more than you can (what does Robert bring to the table? Well, I guess he brings his golden showers with him, but if you happen to be in the minority that actually enjoys performing that fetish act on your partner, then what has he got? Nothing, that's what) is not only ridiculous, it's also socially irresponsible, as is most of his continued late career. However, Puffy seemed to understand the importance of the instrumental, enlisting the Luniz for an official remix (one which was never released on any album, but appeared on a B-side on the "Satisfy You" maxi-single). All I can say is, after hearing this song, I feel like smoking myself fucking stupid. Maybe that will help me like Forever.

6. IS THIS THE END (PART TWO) (FEAT TWISTA & CHERI DENNIS)
I'll admit, I kind of liked the first “Is This The End?” from No Way Out, but I wasn't really expecting a sequel, let alone one featuring Twista. I don't remember the original sounding so goddamn bouncy, especially given the dark subject matter, but isn't Forever all about tearing down conventions? (No, it isn't.) Puffy falls victim to Twista Syndrome, in which the host switches up his flow to match that of his guest, instead of simply hiring Tung Twista for his specialized skill set. Now, I realize that Twista probably wrote Sean's lyrics, so he should get a pass for this, but as a side note, I wonder if Twista Syndrome, which almost every single rapper in the industry seems to suffer from, ever causes Twista to go on power trips and take control of the recording sessions of other artists. (“No, you need to rap faster! Faster!” *cracks whip*) What do you mean, I didn't write about the song? I think I said plenty.

7. I HEAR VOICES (FEAT CARL THOMAS)
The beat (from Puffy, Carlos "6 July" Brody, and Nashiem Myrick) is actually pretty fucking dramatic: Biggie could have made something awesome out of this, had he been not so busy spinning in his own grave. Carl Thomas croons a hook that sounds really good (aside from Faith Evans, who has her moments, Sean Combs has a horrible ear for signing female singers (see: Total, Danity Kane, Cassie, and Dream, all of whom were signed merely because they were conventionally attractive and were willing to sell their bodies and/or show us their tits for record sales) (although that didn't work for Cassie, the pics were still appreciated), but when it comes to the guys (Carl Thomas, 112, and fuck it, Mario Winans is okay; Joe Hooker is supposed to sound like he can't sing), he does alright for himself), but it doesn't match Puffy's lyrics at all. Therein lies the problem: P. Diddy turns a dramatic beat into a shameful waste, spitting rote fake gangsta tales about protecting his cash flow by any means necessary. As if anyone seriously thinks that someone as rich as Puff Daddy would risk his own freedom by putting himself out there. That would be akin to Donald Trump gang banging down at the Compton Swap Meet, or Johnny Cash killing men just to watch them die. (Scratch that last one: I'm more likely to believe Johnny Cash's tales. He was the fucking Man in Black! Everyone reading this should go grab any Cash record and listen to it while dragging your feet through the rest of the write-up. At least your soundtrack will sound better.)

8. FAKE THUGS DEDICATION (FEAT REDMAN)
Don't get too excited by the guest list. Reggie Noble only appears on the hook, one that is fairly half-assed (my guess is that he also wanted to smoke himself stupid after hearing “Satisfy You”, and couldn't get his shit together to write a coherent hook, but Puffy paid him to sell the “Guest Starring Redman” credit anyway. And yes, I fully realize that most albums are not recorded in the order of the tracklisting. It's called a joke). Puffy's take on MC Lyte's "Paper Thin" is pretty embarrassing, but there is potential to be seen here: perhaps if Redman had taken the beat for himself, it could have worked just fine. But then we would have missed out on typical Puffy bon mots such as “Shit, if I don't write it, I recite it well”. Who told you that you were reciting it well? Name names, motherfucker!

9. DIDDY SPEAKS! (INTERLUDE)
Don't really care, sorry.

10. ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES (FEAT BIZZY BONE)
This is the most ridiculous combination on all of Forever, but it kind of makes sense, given Biggie's earlier “Notorious Thugs” with Bone Thugs 'N Harmony on Life After Death. However, Puffy was only able to convince Bizzy Bone to appear: the rest of the crew was too busy doing absolutely anything but appearing on a Puff Daddy record. I'm going to cut this paragraph short: this song sounds fucking terrible. It'll make your soul cry like a bitch.

11. GANGSTA SHIT (FEAT LIL' KIM & MARK CURRY)
Once the song finally starts, you are assaulted with an awful hook. And then you come to a realization: none of these motherfuckers are gangstas! Common sense will tell you that true gangstas wouldn't brag about their own exploits: true legends are born through the tales relayed by others. And besides, if you bragged about your own shit, that wouldn't bode well for your continued existence. If you absolutely must pretend to be a gangsta in order to write a song that nobody will listen to anyway, it would behoove one to write something that is (a) remotely entertaining, and (b) actually having to do with gangsta shit, unlike this garbage.

12. P.S. 112 (INTERLUDE)
Does the idea of hearing a little kid curse ever get old? Yes.

13. PAIN (FEAT G-DEP)
Samples the same source material as Mobb Deep's far superior “Right Back At You”, which was recorded in their blue period (meaning that the album cover to The Infamous features many blue hues, and also because they curse a lot). I don't doubt that Puffy feels some occasional pain, but I guess it wouldn't fly for him to turn all emo on us and write songs about how he isn't rich enough, or how he isn't sure if his friends are really his friends, or if his girlfriend is only with him for his money but is not-so-secretly blowing all of his money-grubbing friends as they perch upon a pile of his money after dining on expensive meals paid for with his money and served on fine china fashioned out of money provided by a robot butler created out of money and paid for with figs. Unless you look at all of Forever as a metaphor for depression, in which Sean “Puffy” Combs is fucking brilliant. But it isn't, so he's not.

14. REVERSE (FEAT SHYNE, G-DEP, REDMAN, SAUCE MONEY, CEE-LO, & BUSTA RHYMES)
Wins the award for Rap Song With The Oddest Guest List In Recent Memory. Puffy gets his verse out of the way rather quickly, not lingering long enough to piss off the audience who really wants to hear everyone else on here anyway. Reggie Noble commits fully to being hip hop's Kevin Bacon with an energetic, if out of place, verse, and Sauce Money, Hova's former right-hand man who copped a Grammy for penning Puffy's “I'll Be Missing You”, provides the most unexpected, but best, cameo. Cee-Lo and Busta Rhymes also sound just fine over this beat. The guests from Bad Boy's actual stable of artists, though, fumble right out of the gate: Shyne Po turns in a boring verse that does nothing to dispel rumors that he was signed on the strength of his impersonation of The Notorious B.I.G., and G-Dep is, well, G-Dep. It's a good thing that Puffy had the foresight to reach out beyond the label roster for this track. If this were released today, it would feature seventeen additional rappers, all selected from random regions of the world so as to appeal to every fucking demographic, annoying drops from mixtape deejays, a second verse from Puff Daddy, a sung verse from Trey Songz, and a coupon for a free appetizer at Ruby Tuesday.

15. REAL N----S (FEAT THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G. & LIL' KIM)
Hey Puff: this song does not explain “what it means to be black”, so the question you pose during the intro will forever remain unanswered. Instead, listeners receive one of Biggie's “Real N----s Do Real Things” verses repurposed over generic-sounding D-Dot production, alongside forgettable rhymes from Puff and Lil' Kimberly. Biggie fans will do better to simply Google the original mixtape cut, on which Christopher Wallace spits multiple verses over beats swiped from Death Row Records, thereby adding more fuel to the East Coast/West Coast feud, although he didn't mean to.

16. JOURNEY THROUGH THE LUFE (FEAT BEANIE SIGEL, LIL' KIM, JOE HOOKER, & NAS)
By far, this is one of the finest tracks Puffy will ever grace. In a way, this is kind of like No Way Out's “I Love You Baby” with its theatrical Nashiem Myrick / 6 July Instrumental and the skilled rhymes from everybody that wasn't named Sean Combs by his mother, although he gets a couple of bonus points for reminding me of Ananda Lewis, formerlly of MTV and BET's Teen Summit. Thankfully, Kim only appears on the hook, allowing Beans and (especially) Nasir to run rampant over the beat, cutting each threat with a mixture of humor, realism, clarity, and Jack Daniels. No, seriously, this song is actually fucking awesome.

17. BEST FRIEND (FEAT MARIO WINANS & HEZEKIAH WALKER)
Puffy raps about the gun he keeps by his side at all times. Nah, I'm just fucking with you: this track is about God. But wouldn't that have been funny as shit? “Motherfucker, God is my Glock, and Jesus is my extra clip! Break yourself!” Do yourself a favor and listen to this song again, mentally inserting images of weaponry wherever the references to an almighty being appear. It adds entertainment value to a song that doesn't have any to begin with.

18. MAD RAPPER (INTERLUDE)
The character himself is no longer relevant (even his name is misspelled in the title of the track), but this skit, in which the Madd Rapper has a dream where Puff Daddy robs him while speaking in only ad-libs, was pretty funny, I have to admit.

19. P.E. 2000 (FEAT HURRICANE G)
The infamous Puff Daddy-swipes-a-classic-Public Enemy-track song, with Hurricane G riding shotgun while wearing Flavor Flav's clock. This type of cover has been done before (two examples that come to mind are Rampage's “Flipmode Enemy #1” and Jeru the Damaja's homage, “Rap Wars”), but, oddly, I don't hate this song. It's because of the power of the musical backing: the beat makes Diddy sound halfway decent behind the mic, rendering this into an entertaining way to end Forever. Not that Erick Sermon's baby mama doesn't try her damnedest to fuck everything up, of course. (Side note: there apparently exists a rock remix to this shit featuring Mista Chuck, an alias of Public Enemy's Chuck D. I told you, money fucking talks.)

FINAL THOUGHTS: Forever is Puff Daddy's attempt at a No Way Out retread, but while its predecessor has a handful of truly good songs (and some others I only admit to liking because if the people I was around when I first heard them, such as “Señorita” - I know, it's embarrassing), Forever ups the ante by providing tracks that you will absolutely hate, even if Salma Hayek proclaimed this to be her favorite album and insisted on playing it while she, Miranda Kerr, Bar Refaeli, Jessica Alba circa Idle Hands, and the cute chick at the grocery store down the block fought over who got to suck your cock first while you sat back and watched the Colts take on the Saints in Super Bowl XLIV on your huge flatscreen HDTV in your plush leather recliner, high as fuck. Puffy is a terrible rapper, a fact that even he has to agree with at this point, but that still doesn't stop him from trying to waste your valuable time. To add to the confusion, the production on Forever isn't even all that terrible: it serves its purpose, and Puffy at least knows how to choose the cream of the crop from his production team, even if he doesn't quite know how to use them. Three of the songs on here even rank in the “pretty good” category, although that is solely due to the guests present. Puffy simply destroys entire cities whenever he spits a verse: one would think that the military would have done something about this threat to the hip hop infrastructure already.

BUY OR BURN? Is there even a question as to what you should do? Oh yeah, it's printed right at the beginning of this paragraph. Anyway, if you even care, you should burn this, but the three songs listed below may earn their way onto your iPod. That is, if they behave on the way to Grandma's house.

BEST TRACKS: “Journey Through The Life”; “Reverse”; “Do You Like It...Do You Want It...”

-Max




RELATED POSTS:
Puff Daddy & The Family – No Way Out