Tony Touch - The Piece Maker 2 (February 24, 2004)

Back in 2000, Joseph Anthony Hernandez, who performs under the name Tony Touch on his millions of mixtape releases, dropped an official compilation album, The Piece Maker, on Tommy Boy Records.  As a mixtape veteran, he used the many connections he had built up over the years to his advantage, recruiting many of his famous friends (such as Royce da 5'9", the Wu-Tang Clan, and Gang Starr, among many many others) to contribute to one of the best compilation projects from a mixtape deejay in recent memory.  While it failed to sell many copies, The Piece Maker was (and remains) highly regarded within our chosen genre, thanks to its mix of head-nodding production, guests who actually gave a fuck about their contributions, and, most of all, the charisma of producer-slash-emcee Tony Toca himself, tying the room together successfully.  So the idea of a sequel wasn't all that surprising.


What did shock some folks (and by "shock", I mean it wasn't shocking in the least bit) was that it took Tony four fucking years to pull The Piece Maker 2 out of his ass.  The long delay wasn't entirely his fault: Tommy Boy Records has a long history of pretending that they're all about hip hop culture while screwing over its artists, as evidenced by the fact that the label failed to absorb the medical costs of the upside-down guy in their own company logo after he landed on his head wrong during a mall appearance, resulting in irreversible brain damage.  So Tony Toca made the same mistake that a lot of artists did at the time: he signed with the Koch graveyard, and The Piece Maker 2 finally made it out of the starting gates in 2004.


With The Piece Maker 2, Tony Touch tried to stick with the same formula that made its predecessor so entertaining: namely, choosing collaborators at random out of a black top hat, crafting several radio-friendly numbers so as to assist the label with making its initial investment back, and honoring his Taino heritage and his Puerto Rican bloodline with more attempts at reggaeton, a musical sub-genre that nobody appears to be sick of yet.  The main difference between the two projects lies with Tony himself: content with keeping behind the scenes for the most part on the original, Toca steps out front and center on the majority of The Piece Maker 2's tracks, rhyming alongside his more famous friends who were too nice to refuse.


The Piece Maker 2 ultimately sold zero copies, attributable to the fact that not many people realized it was even released (Koch wasn't so skilled in the marketing department, you see).  Tony Touch moved on from this project to split his focus between our chosen genre and reggaeton, with no third installment in the series in sight.  I can't even recall reading any critiques of this album anywhere online.  Is The Piece Maker 2 so bad that everybody simply ignored it, or could this possibly be a diamond in the rough that deserves recognition?


Um, the first one.


1. TONY NAVAJA (FEAT RUBEN BLADES)
Starts off as precious as the first volume in this two-part (as of this writing) series did, but then actor-slash-activist-slash-but-mostly-singer Ruben Blades decides to jump on and sing. Tony's own rhymes (thank God that he seems to feel that rap album intros should consist of more than just a sound bite) are deliberately spoken, which is a euphemism for saying that he spits slower than what I'm used to hearing from him, and as a result, his brief few bars aren't very impressive.


2. NON-STOP (FEAT P. DIDDY, BLACK ROB, & G-DEP)
I still haven't figured out why Black Robert had to say “We got rice and beans in the house tonight!” during the intro to this track: in the wrong circles, that can be seen as racist (and in other circles, it can be seen as a recitation of the evening's special), although I should note that a lot of cultures eat some form of rice and/or beans. Tony's beat is fairly interesting, in that it comes across as the skeletal remains of a typical blinged-out Bad Boy instrumental, and Rob, G-Dep, and Tony Touch all sound suited for it (at least until Tony delivers his final verse). Puffy Combs is reserved for hook and ad-lib duties only, and for that I am thankful. Diddy is easily the most commercial artist that appears on The Piece Maker 2, but this song doesn't suffer that much for it, which was nice.


3. HOW YOU WANT IT (FEAT DEF SQUAD)
Erick Sermon's beat is underwhelming, but it is enjoyable to hear Reggie Noble, Sermon, and Keith Murray rhyme together again, especially since they all sound really good (although E-Double loses points for lifting a line from a Noreaga song at the end of his verse). Keith comes off much better on here than he has on his own fucking albums. The only weak link apparent on here is Tony Touch himself: his verse should have been left on the cutting room floor. Otherwise, this wasn't bad.


4. BATTLE SKIT 1
Kind of funny the first time around, I guess.


5. CAPICU (FEAT JUJU, FAT JOE, & N.O.R.E.)
Tony Toca sounds completely at home on here, as the beat fits around him like a glove. Juju, unsurprisingly (considering this is his own beat), sounds good, as does Noreaga (now that was kind of shocking). Fuck, even Large Joseph came across as halfway decent, even though his verse is admittedly pretty stupid. This was entertaining in an entirely ignorant kind of way.


6. ROCK STEADY (FEAT WU-TANG CLAN)
For this Wu-Tang Clan contribution, Tony called upon the members of the crew who did not have the opportunity to appear on “The Abduction” from The Piece Maker: as such, this track complements its predecessor. The Rza's faster-paced beat allows Rae, Meth and even Baby Uey to shine. Thankfully, Tony hides in the background, as he would be voted the artist most likely to get lost within the instrumental. The track also ends in a goofy way, true to form for Prince Rakeem's best work.


7. DIMELO
Tony goes for dolo on what could possibly become his signature song. His beat is pretty catchy, and the Tony whose rhyme skills I praised on the first installment makes a triumphant return. He isn't the best rapper by any stretch of the imagination, but he does alright for himself. This wasn't bad.


8. CLICK BANG (FEAT DOO WOP)
Tony's beat is simple, but very effective. Tony Touch's rhymes, however, struggle to fit into the menacing concept. Doo Wop manages to make it work, ripping shit the fuck up, making this an interesting follow-up to “Return Of The Diaz Bros.” from The Piece Maker. It's also nice that they didn't opt to create another radio-friendly effort as they did last time.


9. AY AY AY (FEAT SEAN PAUL)
Tony invites Sean Paul, who was popular at the time, to join him on a track. I just noticed that, save for the Wu-Tang track, Tony has appeared on every single song thus far, which is a shift from what he did on the first album. I suppose he wanted a larger role in front of the camera this time around. This song is pretty terrible, by the way, thanks for asking.


10. JUST BE GOOD TO ME (FEAT SONI)
Actually, Tony doesn't appear on this song either, a cover of The S.O.S. Band's “Just Be Good To Me” over a breakbeat and scratched-in samples. It fills the role that Keisha and Pam from Total originated with their “I Wonder Why (He's The Greatest DJ)” from the first volume. While I didn't want to immediately skip over it, I still never need to hear this track again. Soni's vocals were too flat to make these lyrics as engaging as they originally were. Oh well.


11. SPANISH HARLEM 2 (FEAT COCOA BROVAZ & HURRICANE G)
This sequel to a song by Smif-N-Wessun the Cocoa Brovaz (from The Rude Awakening) is much darker than the original track, at least when it comes to the music. And just as she did the first time around, Hurricane G pays absolutely no attention to the constructs of the “beat”. Tek and Steele sound alright, but Tony doesn't seem to do much on here. This was interesting in a “curiosity piece” kind of way, but I'm going to stick with the original, thanks.


12. BATTLE SKIT 2
This is the same joke from “Battle Skit 1”. You really couldn't come up with something else, Tony?


13. SPIT 1 (FEAT Q-UNIQUE)
Q-Unique produces his own interruption to today's regularly scheduled programming, and it sounds really good. He commands the mic while Tony goes out to pick up some bottled water and Tampax for his girl. I have to say, he isn't missed at all on here.


14. OUT DA BOX (FEAT PETE ROCK, MASTA ACE, & LARGE PROFESSOR)
This collaboration was an interesting surprise. Pete Rock's beat is alright, if a bit more sparse than what I'm used to (where the hell are the horns?), but this track is more about the guest appearances anyway. Tony and Peter sound as decent as they can, and Extra P always sounds good on the mic (even when his lyrics aren't up to par, which, let me be clear, does not describe his contribution to this song), but Masta Ace swoops in for a final verse that blows everybody else out of the, well, box.


15. TROUBLE ON THE WESTSIDE HWY (FEAT SLICK RICK)
Slick Rick,'s one-verse wonder weaves a pretty effective tale, even as I found Ricky's “terrified” act to be more funny than harrowing. The man just has a way with a story that most other artists lack, and whenever he's paired up with a worthy instrumental, such as Domingo's on here, he fires on all cylinders.


16. A BEAUTIFUL DAY (FEAT NATURE)
Nasir's one-time homeboy-slash-Cormega replacement supplies a one-verse interlude. I wasn't impressed with the words, but the Psycho Les beat was okay.


17. TOUCH 1 – TOUCH ALL (FEAT DEAD PREZ)
I'm surprised that Tony's rhyme skills seem to have degraded as much as they have. Even when he stacks the deck as much as he can against guest stars stic.man and M-1 of dead prez (by supplying a beat that should have been a better fit for himself), he still comes off as the weakest link, and not only that, he sounds like a charity case, as if dead prez were doing him a favor by allowing him to get down on his own fucking song. Sigh.


18. COMO SUENA (FEAT DON CHEZNIA)
After hearing this song, the fact that Tony Toca decided to capitalize on the reggaeton movement is hardly a surprise: it just sounds like a good business move. But while this isn't all bad (unlike most reggaeton, which can be all bad), once again, I'm not the target audience.


19. SPOKEN WORD
Meh.


FINAL THOUGHTS: Aside from a handful of good tracks, The Piece Maker 2 is a disappointing follow-up to its predecessor. Tony Touch tries his best to replicate the formula of his first project, but the entertainment value seems to have been left behind this time around. Listeners will find themselves skipping ahead more than they would like, especially with the boring skits, the spoken word outro, and the R&B crossover effort that self-destructs before it even finds a way out of your speakers. Even though Tony Toca has attracted some big names this time (such as (shudder) Puff Daddy, Def Squad, and Pete Rock), The Piece Maker 2 fails to give everybody something meaningful to do.


BUY OR BURN? Burn this is you must. The tracks listed below are the best ones on here, sure, but there is no need for you to go out of your way to hunt them down. Life goes on, folks.


BEST TRACKS: “Rock Steady”; “Spit 1”; “How You Want It”; “Trouble On The Westside Hwy”


-Max


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