Reader Review: 2Pac - All Eyez On Me (February 13, 1996)

(The final Reader Review for July is for an album that I know several of you two have been waiting for rather impatiently...so instead of me writing about it, Patrick decided to do it for me. I may still review it eventually, but for now, hopefully you're appeased with Patrick's thoughts on 2Pac's magnum opus, All Eyez On Me. Leave some comments for him below. Enjoy!)



So I'm getting to 2Pac's fourth album, All Eyez On Me, before Max. I imagine he doesn't care all that much, since it's yet another bloated double-disc affair, and he also doesn't seem to care much for the late Tupac Shakur.


I’m not going to waste this space with the man's background: everyone that follows this blog should already know his story, and if for some reason you aren't familiar, there are tons of websites you could Google that discuss the man, the myth, the legend. So, you know, stop being lazy and fucking look it up.


All Eyez On Me was the first double album commercially released in hip hop (it was not the first, but it was up there, and it's certainly the most successful), and it was also recorded in a two-week timeframe after 2Pac was sprung from the clink, so it's kind of a big deal. So big of a deal, in fact, that Pac's new label home, Death Row, and his new boss, Marion “Suge” Knight, held an advance copy from critics until after it hit store shelves, just so nobody would know anything about it when it dropped, not unlike what movie studios do with horror movies. Pretty sneaky.


When All Eyez On Me was released, it was snatched up like...well, I don't have a good simile to use here, so let's just say that a lot of people bought it. It was considered an instant classic, and The Source, once the embargo was finally lifted, awarded it their coveted five mics. And so on and so forth: everyone seemed to love this shit.


But how much of this praise was just a result of the insane amount of hype surrounding 2Pac's Death Row Records debut? Most double disc albums (of any genre) are full of filler, which is one of the main reasons I have no yearn to ever listen to MF Grimm's triple-disc American Hunger. (Seriously? What the fuck could you possibly have to say that takes up three CDs?) Also, I imagine that listening to All Eyez On Me on either vinyl or in cassette tape form would be a pain in the ass, with all of the flipping and switching that would be required.


Oh right, the music.




BOOK ONE (no, really, this is how they're referred to on the album):


1. AMBITIONZ AZ A RIDAH
All Eyez On Me kicks off with a track that I only occasionally enjoy; I suppose that indecision would rate this as a “meh”, since 2Pac has never been a great lyricist (with the lone exception being on Me Against The World). For those of you who weren't aware, there's a one-verse Mike Tyson tribute remix (entitled “Ambitionz Az A Fighta”) that was released fairly recently. I don't care for that version either, but I figured it was an interesting bit of trivia.


2. ALL BOUT U (FEAT OUTLAW IMMORTALZ, NATE DOGG, SNOOP DOGGY DOGG & DRU DOWN)
I actually don’t mind this song, although that doesn’t mean I think it’s any good. The Outlawz (or Outlaw Immortalz, as they used to call themselves) don’t bring anything memorable to the table (as is their default setting), and Snoop only shows up to talk a bit toward the end. Nate Dogg does exactly what you think he does, and West Coast stalwart Dru Down merely introduces each artist. Like many 2Pac songs, there is an alternate version of this song with a third Pac verse and no Outlawz contribution; this might have been the version intended for the original video before Suge Knight fucked everything up by throwing a potshot at Snoop (who left Death Row shortly after Pac's passing) into the track by including the soundalike Top Dogg for absolutely no reason on the version that made the Greatest Hits album. (Strangely, that version is called “All About U”; I'm not sure why they decided to clean up some of the spelling after the fact.)


3. SKANDALOUZ (FEAT NATE DOGG)
For someone who supposedly read nonstop, Pac sure does make a ton of spelling errors. But at least “Skandalouz” makes up for that lapse in judgment by actually being quite good. Daz’s beat is awesome, and Nate Dogg does what Nate Dogg does best. I've always thought this to be an underrated gem in 2Pac's catalog.


4. GOT MY MIND MADE UP (FEAT REDMAN, METHOD MAN, DAZ & KURUPT)
I once read an interview where Redman mentioned that he and Meth originally recorded this song as a collaboration with Tha Dogg Pound, but after 2Pac heard it, he wanted it for his own album, and Suge Knight waved his magic wand and made it so. Although the fact that 2Pac never actually worked with Redman and Method Man is a downer, this song is still pretty damn awesome. Also, the original version featured an Inspectah Deck verse at the end, which helps explain his random ad-libs at the end, which also add to just how good this track actually is. (So the question is: was Inspectah Deck supposed to work with Daz and Kurupt? Because if so, that could have been epic...or terrible. Could have gone either way, really.)


5. HOW DO YOU WANT IT (FEAT K-CI & JOJO)
I didn’t mind this song the first time I heard it, but now I can rarely sit through the damn thing. That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this song. However, the single was the preferred delivery method for the B-side “Hit 'Em Up”, so it isn't a total loss. (More on that track in a bit.)


6. 2 OF AMERIKAZ MOST WANTED (FEAT SNOOP DOGGY DOGG)
This was a decent enough collaboration between Death Row's two biggest names at the time (because Dr. Dre took himself out of the running), but the reason everyone remembers this song is because of its incendiary video, which took shots at The Notorious B.I.G. and Puff Daddy (or Buff and Pig, as their impersonators were named).


7. NO MORE PAIN
While the chorus, inspired by Method Man's “Bring The Pain”, was appreciated (mainly in a “I wish I was listening to Tical instead of this shit” kind of way), this ultimately wasn't a very good song.


8. HEARTZ OF MEN
Although this was never an official single, this fantastic track found its way onto 2Pac's Greatest Hits compilation anyway. DJ Quik provides a great instrumental, which Pac briefly uses to take some more shots at Biggie before switching his focus. I like how it uses of one of Richard Pryor’s comedy routines to break up the verses. Side note: Quik is one of the best producers in the game, but he unfortunately remains in Dr. Dre's shadow (sigh). (I have to agree with that last comment.)


9. LIFE GOES ON
It will, and it goes on even better without this track. (I'm not trying to be overly mean here: Pac's “How Long Will They Mourn Me” (from Thug Life: Volume 1) was also dedicated to his late friend Kato, so this song borders on overkill.)


10. ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME (FEAT RAPPIN’ 4-TAY)
Now this is a good song. In fact, if you were so inclined, you could completely delete “Life Goes On” from your iTunes playlist and have “Heartz Of Men” segue straight into this, and the album would actually sound better. But then again, I'm biased; I really hate “Life Goes On”.


11. TRADIN’ WAR STORIES (FEAT DRAMACYDAL, C-BO & STORM)
Not completely terrible, but not very good, either. It certainly has no business being over five minutes in length. However, unless I'm mistaken, this song contains one of the first instances of Pac referring to himself as his Makaveli alias. (Oooh, foreshadowing!)


12. CALIFORNIA LOVE (REMIX) (FEAT DR. DRE & ROGER TROUTMAN)
This remix is decent enough, I suppose. (The original allegedly didn't make the final cut of All Eyez On Me (in the United States, at least), even though a fucking video was shot and the song was played to death on the radio, due to issues with clearing the Joe Cocker sample.) If you pay close enough attention, you may notice that this remix's bass line is the same as is used on “Comin' At You” by the Monsta Island Czars (and also Diamond D's “Confused”); Dr. Dre has simply slowed it down and beefed it up a bit. Did you know that 2Pac and Dre shot a video for this remix, too? The clip is far less ambitious than the original (it takes place at a party, which is one of the worst hip hop video clichés there is), but it's somewhat interesting to know that the “to be continued...” teaser at the end of the first video was actually followed up with something.


13. I AIN’T MAD AT CHA (FEAT DANNY BOY)
Otherwise known as the song whose video features 2Pac rhyming while deceased in Heaven. This was released to MTV almost immediately after Pac was gunned down on the Las Vegas Strip: even this far removed from the original release date, it still feels creepy as hell. I like this track, but I prefer the radio edit, which inexplicably contains a better third verse and is generally more mellow.


14. WHAT’Z YA PHONE # (FEAT DANNY BOY)
This song did not need to be over five minutes long. I enjoyed the use of The Time's “777-9311” on here, but the fact that the final three minutes of Book One are spent with Pac talking dirty to some anonymous female was ridiculous. I have to admit, though, I did laugh a little at his visual image of a bear wiping its ass with a fluffy white rabbit, a description he apparently liked so much that he uses it twice. Also, what is it with rappers that can't be bothered to spell their words correctly? Do they have to pay their graphics department by the letter?


BOOK TWO:


1. CAN’T C ME (FEAT GEORGE CLINTON)
Whenever George Clinton makes an appearance on G-Funk beats, he always seems to make it sound like something special. This Dr. Dre beat (which was originally earmarked for a Dre and Ice Cube collaboration that was fucking erased by Suge Knight once Pac showed interest, thereby denying hip hop fanatics of something that could have been fucking brilliant) is pretty dope: it's too bad that this is his final contribution to All Eyez On Me. At least the song is really good.


2. SHORTY WANNA BE A THUG
While I can’t say that Pac's storytelling abilities are terrible, I can definitely say that I didn't care for this particular tale. Or for the song in general.


3. HOLLA AT ME (FEAT JEWELL)
Meh.


4. WONDA WHY THEY CALL YOU BITCH
2Pac records what is essentially his take on Jeru the Damaja's “Da Bichez”. I find that Jeru is the only rapper that is successful in rationalizing why he refers to certain women as bitches; his song was the only one of these two that I could side with (sort of). Also, dedicating this song to C. Delores Tucker (the scourge of gangsta rap) didn't help matters, as all he's doing is sending mixed singles, so I didn't really care for this song. Biggie's significant other Faith Evans, who was rumored to have slept with 2Pac (a rumor Pac certainly felt was substantial enough to spread himself) sang the chorus on the original version of this track; she was quietly edited from the final cut after the beef escalated between the East and West coasts. But her appearance is puzzling: did she even listen to the lyrics? All 2Pac does is talk about bitches, and Faith raised her hand and said “Oooh! Oooh! Me! I'm next!” Seriously?


5. WHEN WE RIDE (FEAT OUTLAW IMMORTALZ)
2Pac spends an entire song introducing the members of the Outlaw Immortalz, including Big Syke (as Mussolini) and Mopreme (under the alias Komani). Pac...um, sorry, I mean Makaveli doesn't do that bad of a job, but this was still a fairly forgettable track. The hook was also awful.


6. THUG PASSION (FEAT DRAMACYDAL, STORM, HUSSEIN FATAL, YAKI KADAFI, & JEWELL)
Pac introducing his cocktail as a drink that is “guaranteed to get a pussy wet and a dick hard” probably wasn't the best move from a marketing standpoint. This song marks the beginning of yet another trend rappers would jump on to: creating your own alcoholic beverage. Oh, how do I feel about the actual song? Pretty much the same way I feel about empties: I can’t wait to get rid of them and get some money back.


7. PICTURE ME ROLLIN’ (FEAT BIG SYKE, CPO & DANNY BOY)
On my first listen, I felt this track was just good enough, but now I enjoy it much more. I really like the uplifting feel that comes with the late Johnny “J”'s beat (R.I.P.). I also noticed that Pac mentions the fact that he has “two rottweilers by my bed, I feed them lead”. Not exactly the same as feeding your dogs gunpowder (so that they can devour the criminals trying to drop your decimals), but it definitely sounds familiar. I'm just sayin'.


8. CHECK OUT TIME (FEAT KURUPT, BIG SYKE, & NATASHA WALKER)
This upbeat West Coast beat is quite nice (thanks again to Johnny “J”). Although I don't typically care for sex raps, this was rather enjoyable.


9. RATHA BE YA N---A (FEAT RICHIE RICH)
And I’d ratha be the one who didn’t have to listen to this song.


10. ALL EYEZ ON ME (FEAT BIG SYKE)
Also known as the song that uses the same sample as Nas’s “Street Dreams”. I prefer the Nas song, but this isn’t bad. However, 2Pac’s lyric, “depend on me like the 1st and 15th”, makes me think of 50 Cent’s “I love you like a fat kid loves cake” line; it's corny as hell. (And yes, I'm pretty sure I'll receive some backlash for indirectly comparing 2Pac with 50 Cent.)


11. RUN THA STREETZ (FEAT MICHEL’LE, STORM & MUTAH)
In case you weren't aware, Mutah is better known as the rapper Napoleon. (As if it even matters.) The instrumental tries its best, but ultimately fails, and the lyrics aren't even worth discussing. Songs such as this are why the 'skip' button was invented in the first place. In fact, you may skip the track, click back to it, and skip it again, just to show it that you mean business.


12. AIN’T HARD 2 FIND (FEAT B-LEGIT, C-BO, D-SHOT, E-40 & RICHIE RICH)
I’m assuming Richie Rich was included merely because having a posse cut with the rest of the alphabet just wasn’t physically possible. Every time I begin this track, I'm tricked into thinking that it's growing on me, but then I sit through all of the verses and I come to my senses. So this track is merely alright; it's definitely nothing spectacular. Kurupt and/or Tha Dogg Pound probably could have done something better with the instrumental.


13. HEAVEN AIN’T HARD 2 FIND (FEAT DANNY BOY)
Because this includes the same bass line as MC Breed's “Gotta Get Mine” (which also featured 2Pac), by law it merits a comparison. “Gotta Get Mine” is the far better track: QDIII's beat isn't that great, and Pac's lyrics fail to impress. I think the bass line is the only thing that helped me get through this.


(International copies of All Eyez On Me include a bonus track: the original version of “California Love”, albeit in a shortened, edited form.)


I could end the review here, but there are two additional songs that didn't make the final cut of All Eyez On Me that still need to be addressed.


CALIFORNIA LOVE (FEAT DR. DRE & ROGER TROUTMAN)
Yes, I'm talking about the original six-minute version, Mad Max-inspired video and all. Not the one from the “California Love” single or the Greatest Hits compilation (nor, from what I gather, from international copies of All Eyez On Me). I can see why most folks may not take to this version, but I think it's pretty good. Roger Troutman's use of the Talk box is also the shit: Troutman merely sounds like a robot, while all of these chumps abusing Auto-Tune these days sound like they're singing while gargling a mouth full of Scope.


HIT ‘EM UP (FEAT THE OUTLAWZ)
You already know this track: it's often referred to as the greatest dis record of all time. It samples “Don't Look Any Further”, a song from Dennis Edwards and Siedah Garrett that was also utilized for, oddly enough, Junior M.A.F.I.A.'s “Gettin' Money (The Get Money Remix)” (and also Eric B. & Rakim's superior “Paid In Full”). Personally, I think the song goes too far: in fact, I would go so far as to say that “Hit 'Em Up” is directly to blame for the battle records we have to suffer through today, as everyone today is simply trying to replicate 2Pac on this recording. 2Pac threatens to ride on his enemies (primarily Biggie Smalls), brags about fucking Biggie's wife, brags about his sales figures (in this fashion, he would totally fit in with the materialistic rappers today, those who believe that record sales somehow measure talent), curses out Chino XL, and even calls out Prodigy (of Mobb Deep) for suffering from sickle-cell anemia. This is an ugly song, no question about it. 2Pac tried to defend his actions by claiming that he didn't intentionally add fuel to the East Coast vs. West Coast fire, but that is simply bullshit. In all, I don't care for this song. (Yeah, I said it.)


FINAL THOUGHTS: First off, I think it was a good thing I reviewed All Eyez On Me before Max, as he probably would have shit on these discs... and if frustrated enough, possibly literally. Secondly, I am a 2Pac fan, and luckily I bought this album (used) while I was catching up on some other hip hop classics. With that said, All Eyez On Me is much like Life After Death, Stillmatic, The Blueprint, 2001 and Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...Pt. II in that all of the examples named contain some great songs, but their classic status was mainly achieved due to the hype and anticipation that built up prior to their release, so when fans were finally able to get their hands on them, they were quick to proclaim each project as great, mainly because they were so happy that it actually existed. The albums I listed are all pretty good: they're just not the classics that everyone wants them to be, and All Eyez On Me is no better, nor is it worse. Pre-Death Row 2Pac was much better, as he wasn’t focused on dissing people and paranoid that everyone was against him (um, what about Me Against The World?), choosing instead to hone his lyricism and take his time crafting actual songs. (Once again, All Eyez On Me was recorded in two weeks.)


BUY OR BURN?: If you are a 2Pac fan, you already own this (and if you are an 2Pac stan, you probably swear by it). For everyone else, you should probably pick up a used copy, as the first disc is pretty entertaining. The second disc is mostly filler, but hey, at least Pac was nice enough to put the majority of the crappy songs on one disc for us to ignore. However, if you're new to the 2Pac saga and are looking to build your collection, this album can most definitely wait.


BEST TRACKS: “Skandalouz”; “Got My Mind Made Up”; “2 Of Amerikaz Most Wanted”; “Heartz Of Men”, “Only Got Can Judge Me”; “I Ain’t Mad At Cha”; “Can’t C Me”; “Picture Me Rollin’”


-Patrick (click here to visit my YouTube channel)


(Fuck, that was long. And with that, Reader Review month is over. Questions? Comments? Requests? Leave them for Patrick below, or hit me up at my e-mail address.)