Reader Review: Various Artists - Suge Knight Represents: Chronic 2000 (April 27, 1999)

(For today's Reader Review, Sir Bonkers, who last contributed a review on a Benzino album, continues down the path of masochism by tackling Suge Knight's attempt to siphon sales from his former partner Dr. Dre's 2001. Like most people, I had almost completely forgotten that Suge Knight Represents: Chronic 2000 even existed. So go grab a snack (this is a pretty long write-up), and leave some comments for Sir Bonkers below.)

In 1999, Dr. Dre, Kurupt, Snoop Dogg, the Lady of Rage & Nate Dogg had all left Death Row Records behind. 2Pac, the label's biggest star (both then and, arguably, now), was dead, and the head honcho, Marion “Suge” Knight, was serving a prison sentence. The only guy from the original roster still holding it down for Tha Row at this point was Daz Dillinger, one-half of Tha Dogg Pound, who had released Revenge, Retaliation & Get Back the previous year to an indifferent audience. (He would soon leave the label as well.)

Even while behind bars, Marion, the caged Sugar bear, was planning on relaunching his label for the new millennium with an all new team of artists, mainly because he liked to make money and he had alienated every single member of his original line-up. However, he hadn't completely let the past go, or maybe he wasn't entirely confident in the idea of having completely new artists around him, because the people he ended up signing, with names such as Tha Realest, Top Dogg, VK, Swoop G, and Mac Shawn, sounded suspiciously like the people who left Death Row Records high and dry (with a few dirty South rappers, who were popular at the time, thrown in for good measure).

Suge had the idea of releasing a compilation album-slash-label sampler as a way of introducing all of these sure-to-be-household-names to the masses. Also, he wanted to fuck over Dr. Dre yet again, because he was really really mad at him for leaving. As such, there was quite a battle over the name of this project. Dre, who was planning a comeback of his own, had originally released The Chronic on Death Row back in 1992, and by 1996 he had started his own label, Aftermath Entertainment, where he planned on releasing his sequel, The Chronic 2000. However, Suge sued him for the name, a lawsuit that he apparently won, since Dre ended up changing his project to 2001 instead (although there are references to the album's original title in some of the lyrics) and Death Row released Suge Knight Represents: Chronic 2000 (with the subtitle Still Smokin', which I won't include throughout this write-up because the Interweb doesn't seem to believe that is part of the official title) nearly seven months prior, in an effort to confuse consumers, who are all really fucking stupid (at least according to music industry executives).

Which is how this two-disc project was born. Had it been named absolutely anything else, this would be seen as just a label sampler, but by christening it the sequel to perhaps the most influential hip hop album of all time (production-wise, anyway), Suge Knight created impossibly massive expectations (for himself?). Suge Knight Represents: Chronic 2000 (why was he “representing” as opposed to “presenting”? Did he do it once before and decide it was so much fun that he needed to re-present it?) was critically panned, but it sold well enough possibly to some of those really fucking stupid consumers and/or people who actually sided with Suge in the battle for Death Row Records: it earned a platinum plaque in its first week (although since it was a double-disc set, that means Suge only sold half-a-million copies). Critical derision doesn't mean anything to me, though, and neither does high sales figures, so here's what I think of it.

DISC ONE:

1. CHRONIC 2000 (VK & TREACH)

Apparently Suge produced this beat himself, under the name “Big Simon” (which is what Kurupt used to call him for some inexplicable reason). It isn't too bad; it features an interesting guitar riff, at least. VK is a Lady of Rage wannabe who, while not sounding very good, doesn’t fuck this song up (although she does make me want to listen to the actual Rage again very soon), and Treach (of Naughty By Nature fame – what the fuck was he doing here?) completely rips shit up. This was decent.

2. GOTTA LOVE GANGSTA'S (THA REALEST FEAT. SCARFACE & RICHIE RICH)

It doesn’t bode well for the rest of the album when the first two songs feature three artists not signed to Death Row Records. Also, goddamn this Tha Realest guy sounds like 2Pac: they must have shared a larynx at birth. Anyway, the beat is inoffensive and so are the guests (although I had expected better from Scarface). The hook is awfully boring and nonsensical, as well. But Tha Realest’s shockingly 2pac-iness distracts the listener from all of this. Which doth not a good song make…

3. TOP DOGG CINDERFELLA (TOP DOGG)

This one’s kind of interesting. Snoop Dogg-soundalike Top Dogg performs pretty much the exact same song Snoop did on his No Limit Top Dogg album of the same year. (Snoop’s version was called “Snoopafella”.) This is by far the inferior version, since Top Dogg, unlike Tha Realest, doesn’t sound enough like Snoop to fool unsuspecting listeners into believing he’s the real thing, but still sounds enough like Tha Doggfather to be perceived as a biter. Also, he lacks Snoop’s charisma. I don’t even care which version is the original: listen to Snoop’s version instead. (Or possibly Dana Dane's original. Just sayin'.)

4. WHO DO YOU BELIEVE IN? (2PAC FEAT. KADAFI) (chk)

After listening to this and checking the credits, I’m still not one hundred percent sure whether this is Pac or Tha Realest (and whether they really are two different people), thanks mostly to Suge’s typical shady business practices. The hook, which is just as shitty and repetitive as “Gotta Love Gangsta’s”, doesn’t help, either. I’m also not enough of a Tupac Shakur fanatic to care, since this song is shit. If this really is 2pac’s song, then it was only inserted onto Suge Knight Represents: Chronic 2000 to juice some of his fans. (I don't think that last sentence included an intentional pun, but it was funny to me all the same.)

5. I THOUGHT YOU KNEW (MAC SHAWN FEAT. E-40 & DAZ DILLINGER)

Newbie Mac Shawn sounds like a Mystikal clone, which is probably saying too much. Even though the other two featured artists couldn’t have done much to salvage this track, they’re also clearly not even trying. Also, the beat sounds like a cheap Mannie Fresh imitation. Why, Daz, why?!?!

6. CURIOSITY (VK)

Although the beginning of the song promises an uninteresting “gangsta bitch”/ Lil’ Kim/ Foxy Brown-type of track, it actually become somewhat touching, when female rapper VK talks to her father about finding out about her being conceived when he raped her mother at the age of thirteen and never seeing him again, but that's probably included more for shock value than anything else. I also liked the beat. The only downside to “Curiosity” is that I found VK’s voice annoying, but if you can get past that, then you have the best song of its kind since 2Pac’s “Papa’z Song”. I also dug the synth-solo at the end.

7. IT'S GOIN' DOWN (MAC SHAWN FEAT. DAZ DILLINGR & THA REALEST)

Mac Shawn sounds a bit more tolerable on here, but that’s probably due to Daz Dillinger’s instrumental, which, unlike “I Thought You Knew”, actually sounds like Daz had a hand in making it. Tha Realest’s Pac aping grows tiresome, but that tends to happen when gimmicky rappers receive too much exposure on an album. (I like the fact that this song's title can be seen as a direct sequel to “I Thought You Knew”. Also, has anybody ever asked Daz what it was like to contribute to Death Row Records when all of the artists on the roster were actively trying to imitate his old friends or, in the case of Snoop, his own family? That would be a fucking fascinating interview.)

8. DON'T FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM (SWOOP G)

I liked Bad Azz clone Swoop G’s verse on “Head Doctor” off the last Death Row-released Snoop Doggy Dogg “album” Dead Man Walkin’, so I was looking forward to this track, but this Snoop dis isn’t very good, probably because Suge coerced him into recording this shit, which is why Swoop doesn’t sound the least bit convincing. Sigh. (Swoop G was once one of Snoop's many weed carriers, which is probably why Suge felt he would be the best vehicle for trash-talking his former employee.)

9. LIKE IT OR NOT (SOOPAFLY)

I've always liked Soopafly, and the L.T. Hutton beat is really good. It's too bad that Soopafly’s career never really took off, and L.T. became the main producer for Ashanti’s latest album. This was still a good song, though. (I've always liked Soopafly, too, but mainly his lone hit, “I Don't Hang”, from the A Thin Line Between Love and Hate soundtrack. I think I'll go listen to that again right now.)

10. IT'S EASY TO BE A SOLDIER WHEN THERE AIN'T NO WAR (THA REALEST FEAT. SWOOP G & C-STYLE)

Even though this is just another Suge-initiated Snoop-dis (albeit a somewhat cleverly-titled one, since Snoop's new coworkers at No Limit Records prided themselves on being No Limit “soldiers”), it’s still pretty decent. The beat was nice and ominous, and my low expectations of the featured artists (including C-Style, who was also once one of Snoop's friends), were slightly exceeded. Definitely one of the highlights of Suge Knight Represents: Chronic 2000. (I wonder if Suge regrets that title today, though, since there clearly is a fucking war going on.)

11. BEAUTIFUL LADY (DANNY BOY FEAT. K-CI)

Remember Death Row crooner Danny Boy, late of 2Pac's “I Ain't Mad At Cha”? Suge clearly did. This song was placed on here merely to sell the project to a female audience (which never existed in the first place: how many women do you personally know who actively wanted a 2Pac soundalike in her record collection?) Not only does this shit suck, it also doesn't belong on the same disc as track number thirteen, which we'll get to in a moment. (I had forgotten that K-Ci, from Jodeci and, more recently, the duo K-Ci & JoJo, had some sort of side deal with Suge Knight that required him to appear on these shitty projects. Thanks for reminding me.)

12. STAND STRONG (THA REALEST FEAT. DANNY BOY & JEWELL)

Tha Realest brings listeners his own version of a “Keep Ya Head Up”/“Life Goes On”-type track over an okay beat with a decent hook. (Jewell holds the curious distinction of being the only artist to appear on both this project and Snoop's No Limit Top Dogg. Weird.)

13. WE DON'T LOVE 'EM (TOP DOGG)

DJ Quik gives Top Dogg the most The Chronic-like instrumental thus far, which makes the star attraction sound much better than he has any right to. This was actually tolerable.

14. BECAUSE OF YOUR GIRL (THA DOGG POUND FEAT. THA REALEST)

This song would have been pretty bland had it not been for Tha Realest rhyming “perfection” with “erection” while complimenting an unknown female. That made me chuckle. (A bit of trivia: Kurupt (of Tha Dogg Pound) is the only guy to appear on both Suge Knight Represents: Chronic 2000 and the project it was trying to overshadow, Dr. Dre's 2001.)

DISC TWO:

1. ROLL WITH US (THA DOGG POUND)

Sounds like one of Dogg Food's lesser efforts, which, in this context, means this is pretty fucking good.

2. DRINK'S ON ME (CAPTAIN SAVE M' FEAT. ANT BANKS)

I might need more than just the one in order to enjoy this fucking album. (Lord knows why West Coast stalwart Ant Banks, who also produced, agreed to appear on this project. Everybody has to eat at some point, I suppose. Also, who the fuck is Captain Save M'?)

3. LATE NIGHT (2PAC FEAT. OUTLAWZ)

This is by far the best song on Suge Knight Represents: Chronic 2000. DJ Quik, who is one of the most underrated rappers-slash-producers on the left coast (next to Daz Dillinger) provides a way too fonkay instrumental for 2Pac to spit some above-average lyrics over. The version that appears on this album is actually a remix, although it isn't labeled as such: the original track featured both DJ Quik and AMG, both of whom I prefer over Tha Outlawz. This was alright enough, but it was much better in its original incarnation. This song also appears on Pac’s 2002 compilation Better Days, if I’m not mistaken.

4. THEY WANNA BE LIKE US (THA REALEST, TOP DOGG, & DOOBIE)

No, you have it backward: you wanna be like them.

5. O.G. TO B.G. (THA DOGG POUND FEAT. SOOPAFLY)

This was a bomb ass song. It features two verses by Kurupt (who, if I’m not mistaken, had already left Death Row Records a year prior to this release), with assists from Daz and Soopafly.

6. I WANNA BE LOVED BY YOU

Skit…

7. WANNA BE LOVED (MICHEL'LE FEAT. VK)

Dr. Dre's baby's mama-turned-Death Row songstress (who had a couple of hit songs of her own in the early 1990s) reminded me of TLC in a good way, all the way down to VK's approximation of Left Eye (who was also signed to Death Row at one point). Not too bad.

8. I'M COMIN' HOME (THA REALEST FEAT. JEWELL)

This was actually kind of nice, if you can get past the 2Pac biting (which, if you haven't figured out from my writings on the topic earlier, is really really hard).

9. I'M COUNTRY (DOOBIE)

If the chorus wasn’t so abysmal, I might have waited until the very end of this track to conclude that it sounds like ass.

10. PRESENTING MIILKBONE (MIILKBONE FEAT. NAJI)

Apparently, this Miilkbone guy (who is in no way related to Bone Thugs-N-Harmony) was dissed by Eminem on his “Just Don’t Give a Fuck”. Suge Knight, sensing yet another way to earn a dishonest buck, decided that Marshall Mathers, an artist who had absolutely nothing to do with Death Row Records, also deserved to feel his wrath, so he quickly signed another white rapper to dis him. To his credit, Miilkbone drops a few not-entirely-bad lines, but the instrumental is way too fruity to make him sound menacing whatsoever. Also, “Miilkbone” has to be the worst rap artist name ever. (Miilkbone was actually around long before Death Row Records came calling, hence Eminem's reference in the first place. I have his debut album in a crate somewhere: this paragraph makes me want to dig it up. Let me know in the comments below if you two would be interested in reading about that.)

11. THE THINGS YOUR MAN WON'T DO (VK)

This song makes no sense, and the beat was annoying as fuck.

12. NOW WHAT (CAPRICORN)

This Kevyn Lewis-produced track rips off elements of De La Soul’s “Me, Myself and I” and has a different Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes clone spit some inane shit over it. Meh.

13. RIDE OR GET RODE ON (BAD HABITZ)

I'd say that title sums up the album quite nicely. There are some emcees out there who are so terrible that they end up sounding entertaining by default (kind of like a movie that is so bad that it's hilarious), but the cast of characters Suge Knight gathered for this project are just terrible in general: Bad Habitz, for example, throw in every rap song cliché they can think of in lieu of being creative, which demands too much of a listener’s patience.

14. MR. OFFICER (MICHEL'LE FEAT. CAPTAIN SAVE M' & EL DORADO)

The beat and hook are decent enough, but the guest rappers ruin what could have been a decent way to conclude this project.

FINAL THOUGHTS: So it turns out that the critics are all right. Think of Suge Knight Represents: Chronic 2000 as a label sampler take on All Eyez On Me, except without the half-dozen classic songs. That leaves you one long shitty album with a few highlights that are only highlights because the rest is so fucking awful. There simply isn’t a great song on here, just a few decent ones and a few good elements within songs that still manage to suck overall. The main problem with a lot of these tracks is that. even when they start off promisingly, one of Suge’s Pac / Snoop / Rage / Mystikal clones comes in to drop a shitty verse that fucks it up for talented Row inmates Kurupt, Daz, Soopafly, Jewell, Danny Boy & Michel’le, who were all thisclose to leaving anyway (or gone already, for all I know). Even decent artists like E-40, Richie Rich, Scarface contribute piss-poor appearances. None of the Snoop/ Dre/ Eminem-disses contains even a single witty line. The songs listed below are the only ones that you could listen to without angering up the blood. But the fact that they won’t piss you off doesn’t mean that you should actually care (except for maybe “Late Night”, but you should track down the original version instead). You should obviously go buy Dr. Dre's 2001 instead: that album sounds more like The Chronic than this could ever dream of achieving. Also, Dre’s album is a classic (with a few bullshit tracks also, but most albums in our chosen genre not titled Illmatic have that problem), while this is a dinosaur from the bygone era of double discs featuring material that was already dated by the time it hit store shelves.

BUY OR BURN? You’re going to have a hard time finding it either on the web or in the stores. (Well, at least here in Amsterdam where I live, anyway. Actual chronic isn’t that hard to come by, though.) And even if you did, it still isn't going to be worth your time or your money.

BEST TRACKS: “Chronic 2000”; “Curiosity”; “Like It or Not”; “Late Night”; “O.G. to B.G.” “I Wanna Be Loved By You”

-Sir Bonkers

(I've always found the rise and fall of Death Row Records to be a fascinating subject. Questions? Comments? Concerns? Leave them below.)