(This final Reader Review of the year is one of the
funniest ones I've seen in a while: you two will need to step your
writing game up now. It comes from Andrew, who gives Lil' Boosie's
Bad Azz its due. As I choose to not know what a Lil' Boosie is, I'm
going to step away now: leave your thoughts in the comment section
below.)
Arguably the greatest rapper of his
generation, Torrence Hatch, aka Lil’ Boosie, dropped his studio
debut Bad Azz in 2006. While many folk somehow managed to sleep on
this gem (though it did move 41,000 units in its first week according
to Wikipedia), the release of the mainstream classic “Wipe Me Down
(Remix)” ensured that Sir Boosie’s music would not go unheard. The
presence of Lil’ Boosie in the rap game begs many philosophical
hip-hop questions: Is the album good? Can Boosie entertain for
multiple tracks? Why is my dick hard right now? With this review, I
should be able to answer two of these meaty questions.
Bad Azz was surprisingly booed by
critics, and I personally think that is a worse crime than murder.
Coincidentally, Boosie was hit with a first-degree murder charge in
2010, and he is now tragically serving time for selling innocent
narcotics such as codeine, ecstasy, and marijuana.
While selling drugs and homicide were
in Boosie’s near future, he managed to stay relatively focused and
dropped what I consider to be a cohesive album. Sticking to his
in-house Trill Entertainment producers Mouse (J. Allen) and B.J. (B.
Rome), Boosie was able to create a consistent sound throughout
seventeen tracks, something I know all you hip-hop head backpacker
fucks out there appreciate.
Now for the album.
1.WHEN YOU GONNA DROP
Boosie does not like it when somebody
interviews him about his career choices, as evidenced by this
introductory track. Skipping the intro that Max would’ve surely
despised, Boosie decides to update the audience on his current
lifestyle. I’m not a big fan of the production found here, but
Boosie’s lyrics are pure: “This album gonna be the sickest,
that’s on my pops / He put that dang-a-lang in my momma 9 months
later I dropped.” If you can get over the fact that he rhymed
"pops" with "dropped", then you might be ready
for this album. Solid track, but not my favorite of his.
2. SET IT OFF
I’m sure many people say things like
this about Boosie: “He’s a mainstream douche”; “Boosie’s
voice sounds like a squirrel’s orgasm”;“Boosie an ugly ass
n---a”, etc. One thing that cannot be debated is that he brings a
lot of energy to the table. I once read a news report about a wanksta
down in the dirty dirty singing the lyrics to "Set It Off"
aloud as he casually strolled down the street. Thank Boosie for putting that criminal in jail where he belongs. Oh, and this track is
pretty badass, but I’ve sadly played it out. The production here
knocks and Boosie brings his unique sense of humor to the forefront:
“Now I’m the nipples on the titty, the motor called a Hemi.” I
found it easy to relate to the titty/nipples line.
3. ZOOM (FEAT. YUNG JOC)
When I first heard this song, I hated
it more than the first time I pre-ejaculated in my pants. Now it’s
a bit more serviceable to me, as is my dick game. Yung Joc, of “It’s
Goin Down” fame, stops by to drop off a steaming turd of a guest
verse and a mediocre chorus that probably earned him more income than
my lifetime savings. The beat here is somewhat catchy, but the lyrics
are very pedestrian. I think this song is exactly what Boosie wanted
it to be: an ignorant radio hit and a potential club banger. Too bad
it achieved neither of those lofty goals.
4. MOVIES
Now this track is what I call "classic
Boosie". Like myself, Boosie seems to express himself best when
he is in a fit of rage. He channels this inner anger that likely
arose from the constant shame of being a black man with a chipmunk’s
voice into a diatribe against all the fake rappers gettin’ money.
The beat and the lyrics somehow work (don’t ask me how). An obvious
highlight from the song goes: “Hannibal Lecter one of you bitches,
cut yo tongue and make you eat it.” I couldn’t paint a clearer
picture if I was on fifteen milligrams of Adderall. Mad props to
Boosie Boo.
5. THAT’S WHAT THEY LIKE
This song should probably be entitled
Lil Boosie’s Hitchhiker's Guide To Getting The Ladies Wet, cause his
swagger on this track made me wish I was the lady keeping his bed
warm. Boosie uses the aptly named title of his song and extends the
thought for three entertaining verses, sharing his secrets to wowing
the bitches. I actually love this beat, and I think Boosie straight
laced it in a way other rappers can’t. My favorite track so far.
6. I REMEMBER
Technically this is Lil Boosie’s
third concept song in a row. How bout dem titties? While the last two
songs were much more braggadocious, this song finds Boosie in an
endearing state of reflection. He essentially chronicles his entire
life in this one track, and it really hits home. I’m convinced that
Boosie is capable of remembering each and every single moment of his
life, the obvious sign of a genius. The mellow production complements
his lyrics perfectly. A definite standout, and a big F-U to anyone
who thinks Boosie is some mainstream puppet.
7. SOFT TO HARD (FEAT. BIG HEAD &
FOXX)
Bringing along his boys from the
aforementioned Trill Entertainment label, Boosie and company proceed
to explain how they are all adept as chefs in the kitchen. (Chefs of
crack cocaine, that is.) I’ve been told by my friends and some
douches that I’m very gullible, but I’m almost certain these guys
have cooked crack with the best of them. The beat here is pretty
fucking dope, and everyone handles it rather nicely. The track isn’t
groundbreaking, but it is rather enjoyable.
8. MY STRUGGLE
Borrowing liberally from Adolf Hitler’s
classic book Mein Kampf (I’m Jewish, so I can say that.), Boosie
decides to tell the story of his own struggle, alongside some fitting
production. Boosie’s life makes mine look like a fairytale; if
fairytales were full of stories about guys who don’t get laid very
often and write Reader Reviews for HHID. Now back to the song. This
is another track where Boosie spills the thoughts and feelings he
experienced through a life in the ghetto. Why should you care about
Boosie’s plight? That’s a pretty good question, but I do care, so
deal with it.
9. I'M MAD
Never has there been a better song for
when you’re angry. It is simultaneously infuriating and hilarious
at the same time, so when you listen to it you can channel your fury
into something special. My favorite section of the chorus goes: “I’m
mad, I’m mad, bitch you done made me mad.” I experience feelings
like that rather frequently, but Boosie is far better at expanding
upon said feelings. The beat, once again, fits the lyrics like a
glove. Show some love for the no name in-house Trill Entertainment
producers.
10. MY N---A
Where do I even start with this song?
So many pure memories. I’ve got to give a shoutout to my BFF Rap
Masta Rui, I see you dawg. If you have a best friend, I highly
suggest downloading this song and playing it in the car with him/her.
It is a bonding experience that I can guarantee will last a lifetime.
Boosie is in full storytelling mode once again, talking about his
n----s back at home, something I’ve never seen a rapper do as
truthfully as Boosie. You can tell he is name-dropping his real
homeys, or maybe he was just being really creative with the names.
I’m not going to say this again, but the beat really complements
the lyrics. Maybe my ears are full of wax, but I feel like the
producers and Boosie really gelled on this album. Classic track.
11. I REPRESENT (FEAT. WEBBIE)
I’m reppin the Jews 24/7, but Boosie
and Webbie choose not to represent just one thing. In fact, they
represent everything from Hurricane Katrina to their brothas slangin'
in the hood. Covering such a wide variety of topics within the scope
of one song would be an impossible feat for most, but Boosie and
Webbie clearly rise to the occasion. Who is Webbie, you ask? Webbie
is the quasi-official co-leader of the barely-breathing Trill
Entertainment movement alongside Boosie. If you haven’t heard of
Webbie, you probably don’t get out much or your personality sucks,
but Webbie is like fine wine. He fucking rocks. Him and Boosie trade
bars over a fun beat, and this track was clearly designed to lighten
the mood before Boosie brings you to tears once again. This song
isn’t meant to lyrically overwhelm you, but it is bouncy and
infectious.
12. HATIN'
Let me start off by saying: fuck
haters. It is one thing to hate on a douche in a bro tank, but hating
on Boosie should be criminal. All he wanted to do was make some rap
music from the heart, and he achieved that despite all the struggles
that come with being a black man in the dirty south. Critique him all
you want, but this line proves that he understands hate is to be
expected: “They hated Dr. King and they hated when he marched /
they hated Malcolm X and they hated Rosa Parks.” I’m starting to
wonder if Boosie is an undercover scholar, but I don’t want to
start any rumors. Let me go out on a small limb here and say that the
man knows his shit. The whole point of this song is that haters gon’
hate, and you’ve got to deal with it because it is inevitable. Bad Azz is full of life’s little lessons. Maybe Boosie is Jesus
reincarnated. But I digress.
13. FUCK YOU (FEAT. PIMP C &
WEBBIE)
At this point it is rather obvious that
Boosie can lyrically mindfuck you to completion through powerful
simplicity, or he can just have loads of fun on the track. Surrounded
by the all-star cast of UGK's Pimp C (R.I.P.) and Webbie, all three
rappers proceed to pillage this track like thieves in the night. Wave
your arms around and dance to this song, and you’ll understand its
beauty. Or maybe you won’t. Not everyone has the same musical
tastes. Boosie and company work this track like Muhammad Ali in his
prime. In other words they murder this track figuratively and
literally. Maybe the words they use aren’t longer than six letters,
but who ever said long words are better?
14. EXCITING (FEAT. WEBBIE)
As exciting as the name of the track
is, this is probably my least favorite track on the album, but that
doesn’t mean it is awful. Bad Azz is so good that the worst track
is still pretty solid. Webbie and Boosie spit over a trill beat that
they are more than capable of handling, and they entertain as always.
I think I’m underrating this track, so I’ll let you decide for
yourself.
15. DISTANT LOVER
I’ve only cried a few times in my
life, but I wish I could cry to this track. If you’ve seen The
Notebook with your girlfriend, or masturbated to The Notebook alone,
you’ll be able to relate to this song. Love is special, but distant
love is magical. Here’s a fair warning: if you listen to "Distant
Lover", you just might call up that girl, you know, the one you
want to be with but have been avoiding so you don’t seem needy, and
you will regret it. All I ask is that you don’t blame Boosie for
speaking from the heart.
16. GOIN' THRU SOME THANGS
Misspelling of the word “through”
aside (unless Boosie’s childhood was spent in the McDonald’s
drive-thru), this song can be appreciated by people of all shapes and
colors. Everyone from rich to poor will at some time struggle, even
Boosie. Perhaps the retrospective nature of this album has grown old
to you by now, but I cannot seem to get enough of Boosie’s pearls
of wisdom. If you’ve listened to the album until this point, then
you are probably smarter than you were approximately thirty-five
minutes ago, so pat yourself on the back. Free Boosie.
17. SMOKIN' ON PURPLE (FEAT. WEBBIE)
Potheads rejoice: Boosie made a track
for the stoners. This has to be one of the best marijuana-related rap
songs, which is a bold statement considering every rapper has made a
weed track at some point. The beat here is perfect for hotboxing your
car with your buds, and the rappers know how to ride the beat. You
should be blazing a doobie right now as you read my pointless words.
(Bad Azz concludes with the following
bonus track.)
18. WIPE ME DOWN (REMIX) (FEAT. FOXX &
WEBBIE)
My nickname in high school was Mr. Wipe
Me Down after I karoaked to this track on the high school stage with
one of my friends. The only people that did karaoke at my school were
either mentally disabled or insane, so I guess I’m mentally
disabled. This is definitely one of my favorite mainstream tracks,
and the sole reason that anyone knows who Lil’ Boosie is. Words
won’t give this track its due, so wipe yourself down and know that
you are listening to one spectacular track. Thank you, Boosie.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Obviously I’m a bit
biased, but I found Bad Azz to be a classic album. If you have any
doubt at this point, please look at the thumbs up to thumbs down
ratios for every track on YouTube and you’ll notice I’m not the
only Lil’ Boosie dickrider. There are many people that have ridden
his dick. This album really doesn’t include any throwaway tracks,
and that is rare in the rap game. I’m not saying this is like Nas’s
Illmatic or Mobb Deep’s The Infamous, but for a Southern album, it
is definitely upper echelon. Do yourself and your mother a favor and
listen to a few tracks, and if you don’t like it, then maybe it
just isn’t your cup of tea.
BUY OR BURN? I, however, am a proud
owner of this album, and I feel that Boosie deserves the cash so he
can hit the strip club once he is freed from prison. Again, FREE
BOOSIE.
BEST TRACKS: Depends on your taste I
suppose, but my favorites are "My N---a", "Smokin’
On Purple",and "Distant Lover". Boosie’s album is
pretty much a personality test.
-Andrew
(Questions? Comments? General sense
of confusion? Leave your thoughts below.)
funny shit, put something on your mans books doe. Between renting lambos and putting singles in stripper chochas it goes fast. Kinda want to hear a couple tracks but not motivated to look for it.
ReplyDeleteIt would add another dimension to your blog if the tracks had links to the youtubes so we could hear em
i commented on this just so there would be a comment on my article. I wrote this article a while ago, but Boosie will be freed February 16, 2014 according to his brother. Wipe him down
ReplyDeleteHey! You're not Andrew, I am!
Deletebest album ever..
ReplyDeleteInteresting... he is being released huh... well anyway, the review was hilarious and motivated me to look at a few tracks before full on commitment.
ReplyDeletefuck boosie give us a da mafia 6ix review
ReplyDeleteWow. This review wasn't funny at all.+
ReplyDeleteHilarious review. Write more please.
ReplyDeleteThis is a 5* review
ReplyDeleteIntrigued by Boosie's reflective genius & intricate songwriting, I ALMOST bought the album.
ReplyDeleteI've regretted the decision ever since.
Now that I've read your review, I'm gonna go and…
Regret some more.
Great review!!!
dang, lord infamous from three 6 mafia was found dead. RIP
ReplyDeleteLil Boosie is clearly the Ernest Hemingway of hip-hop.
ReplyDeleteThis wasn't a funny review, and I'm not even a Boosie fan either.....
ReplyDeleteThe commenters saying this review wasn't funny probably think the NSA isn't collecting their phone calls.
ReplyDeleteAptly put.
Deletesomeone thinks I'm funny! maybe a girl will marry me someday
DeleteI look at albums like this as a waste of a good c.d a waste of a c.d case and a waste of paper that the inlay was printed on.just shit
ReplyDeleteWow. What a fucked up review. This way of mocking an artist and pretending to praise his music while letting the hate pour out of every word you write, is the worst. Please Andrew, use your writing talent and your precious time to write about something you actually like. This is not the way to go. There's no future in your disguised hating. Sounded like a sad little person with a heart full of hate. A lotta Boosie songs are jamming and can be enjoyed without feeling like shit, but it's probably too difficult for you or you're too lazy to overcome your prejudices to do so - so why not just leave it alone? It would have been noble if you clearly stated the reasons you don't like Boosie and his music. But this 'review'? Fuck that. Do you get joy out of this poisoned praise, trying to fool more naive folks? Stop it.
ReplyDeleteBOOSIE IS OFFICIALLY FREED! AND I THINK THIS GUY ABOVE ME IS OFFICIALLY RETARDED! YAYYYYYY
DeleteBoosie is among us once again. Praise the Lord.
ReplyDeleteMay he reflect on us his unique wisdom gained from 5 years of servitude to the system.
Amen.
I've actually read a review where the reviewer described the music in one of the songs as simply "flatulence". Now THAT'S funny!!!
ReplyDelete