Today marks the eleven-year anniversary of the blog. I've missed a couple of these during my lengthy hiatus, so I wanted to make sure I acknowledged it this time around. Okay, that's over with, let's move on.
These days, producer-slash-sometimes rapper J-Zone is best known for successfully reinventing himself within not just our chosen genre, but transcending them, as well, having used his early experiences in the rap game, releasing critically-acclaimed but low-selling independent albums on his own label (Old Maid Entertainment) and touring with them to no avail, as inspiration for his autobiography, Root for the Villain: Rap, Bullshit, and a Celebration of Failure (released in 2011), which generated renewed interest in his music. Since then, he’s released two additional rap albums, but for the most part has moved on to other ventures, teaching himself to play the drums (he performed the drum work live on his last two albums), which has led to his current role as the drummer in his funk duo, The Du-Rites, alongside Pablo Martin of the Tom Tom Club.
These days, producer-slash-sometimes rapper J-Zone is best known for successfully reinventing himself within not just our chosen genre, but transcending them, as well, having used his early experiences in the rap game, releasing critically-acclaimed but low-selling independent albums on his own label (Old Maid Entertainment) and touring with them to no avail, as inspiration for his autobiography, Root for the Villain: Rap, Bullshit, and a Celebration of Failure (released in 2011), which generated renewed interest in his music. Since then, he’s released two additional rap albums, but for the most part has moved on to other ventures, teaching himself to play the drums (he performed the drum work live on his last two albums), which has led to his current role as the drummer in his funk duo, The Du-Rites, alongside Pablo Martin of the Tom Tom Club.
Today’s post
does not touch on the current J-Zone, however. There are no live drums or
reflections on his past, aside from general complaints that his output doesn’t
sound like his earlier work, something all rappers have dealt with at some
point in their careers. No, the subject of today’s post is an album entitled
Every Hog Has Its Day, and it’s a satirical take on the ignorant rap music that
Zone and his partner-in-rhyme-for-this-one-project-only, underground stalwart
Celph Titled, enjoy unironically.
Every Hog Has Its Day is a celebration of the type of hip hop that would normally get you
kicked out of the cypher immediately: bars about pimping, treating women as
sperm receptacles, and generally acting like morons abound. But for the most
part, every track is performed as a gag, with Zone and Celph seemingly daring
one another to see who could be more extreme, so none of the following songs
should be taken literally, as they would all be problematic if you think too
much about them.
For this
project, Zone and Celph opted to try to distance it from the rest of their
respective catalogs by forming the duo the Bo$$ Hog Barbarian$, firmly
calling themselves out as pigs. Taking it a step further, Zone refers to
himself as Kenny Hoggin$ on this album (which is fucking hilarious), while
Celph Titled runs with Wade Hogg$ as his pseudonym, but I’m just going to call
them J-Zone and Celph Titled throughout this review, if that’s okay with you.
Zone and
Celph trade off on production duties, with the ball falling into Zone’s court
more often than not, which I believe he prefers anyway. He also defers to his
partner when it comes to the bars, which is fine, since Celph is much more
bombastic as a rapper, even though I’m a J-Zone fan. They also keep this fun
all to themselves with the nonexistent guest list, save for a couple of
exceptions you’ll see below that don’t really count anyway.
The Bo$$ Hog
Barbarian$ didn’t exist long past the release of Every Hog Has Its Day. I
remember ordering this disc off of the now-defunct HipHopSite.com online store
and receiving a second disc as an exclusive bonus, The Hogs Sing The Hits: Pig
Parodies, which purported to be five tracks of Zone and Celph fucking around in
the studio making fun of what was popular on the radio at that time. Weirdly, I’ve
never actually listened to that disc, so I have no idea what it sounds like.
But shortly afterward, the duo disbanded and went back to their day jobs,
although they still apparently hang out, as Celph appeared on Zone’s comeback
album, 2013’s Peter Pan Syndrome.
But hey,
there’s still this.
1. HOG HOP
During the
first minute-plus of this opening track, J-Zone immediately shoots down your
self-imposed high expectations by confirming for the audience that Every Hog Has Its Day will in no way be mistaken for Pimps Don't Pay Taxes 2: The Secret
of the Ooze. He literally says most of that last sentence. Celph's instrumental
cements this idea, as it comes across as much funkier than anything Zone would
have produced for himself up to this point. It's actually a pretty good beat,
too: not only does Celph sound at home doing the Bartman over it, I would
actually want to hear it used by other artists, specifically Tha Dogg Pound,
who, had they been invited, might have provided a welcome contrast to the
pimping exploits of our disguised hosts. Zone sounds okay on the mic, not
entirely comfortable with all of the blatant misogyny (even though this was
intended to be all in good fun), but decent regardless, and both funny and
informative during the intro, which now foreshadows just how natural a writer
the man would later become.
2. GIVVA HOG A BONE
While I
could have done without the distorted vocals that give the song its title,
everything else on here worked for me. Celph and Zone each claim half of the
track, delivering bars chock-full of jokes, threats, and vitamin C over an
elastic Zone instrumental that grows on the listener. Celph Titled gets all of
the best lines, as he tends to do, and, to his credit, Zone lets him, as he
hardly considers himself a formidable rapper anyway, although he does well for
himself, what with his taunting of music critics (today we would just call them
“trolls”) and his obsession with ridiculous, outdated hip hop dances
(specifically the Steve Martin). Fun.
3. BITCH, THAT AIN'T LUV! (FEAT. DICK $TALLION)
That title
doesn't make much sense, as this song is essentially about convincing a woman
to cook for you right before you sleep with them, but it features a riff on the
theme song from The Jeffersons during the hook alongside some outright silly
and juvenile double-entendres that drive the point home with all of the
subtlety of a sock willed with quarters. Zone and Celph are clearly enjoying
themselves, but their energy doesn't translate as well for the home audience as
the goofy singing does, which garners “Bitch, That Ain't Luv!” an instant
“skip” in my book. Moving on...
4. COCKSUCKA
Given that
title, it's far too easy to assume that “Cocksucka” is a track dedicated to the
ladies (and only ladies, because Zone and Celph are certified straight, as established multiple times throughout the project) who
live to serve men whilst on their knees, but it's really just a two-minute
venting session, one in which the titular act is only touched upon by J-Zone
for a brief moment. Both of our hosts spend the duration of the track
dismissing critics while trying to sell the listener on the fact that they
truly do not give a fuck what people think about them. If that were true, then
why write a song about it? Seriously. It wasn't bad, though, and Zone's beat
sounds very much like something he would have rocked over on one of his solo
projects, which helps.
5. YOU GOT MAIL
Celph Titled's
instrumental is pretty catchy, to be fair, but in no way was it mind-blowingly
awesome enough to inspire an extended monologue from J-Zone about it toward the
end of “You Got Mail”. The rest of the track is typical ignorant pimp shit,
even though neither of our hosts ever goes so far over the misogyny line that
they lose sight of it entirely: they mainly like to bone, which technically
isn't even all that offensive. The hook shoehorns the titular phrase onto the
track, even though the song itself has fuck-all to do with the postal service
or America Online, which means I'm probably missing something. Not bad.
6. HOG LUV
Zone and
Celph describe the perfect woman to be with a Bo$$ Hogg Barbarian, and although
this results on a predictably silly riff on LL Cool J's “Around The Way Girl”,
that doesn't make it any less entertaining or engaging. Zone's descriptions,
specifically, are goofy as shit, as he describes the type of woman most men
would cross the street to avoid: Celph Titled follows a similar blueprint, but
doesn't seem to have his tongue as firmly planted into his cheek as his
co-host. This is the first song on Every Hog Has Its Day that sounds as though
it had been lifted straight from one of J-Zone's earlier projects, which is
intended as the highest of compliments.
7. 113TH PRECINCT
An
uncharacteristically mean-spirited skit performed (mostly) by J-Zone. It wasn't
even funny, which is really the kiss of death for a Zone interlude. Since it's
just a skit, I was going to recommend you just skip over it anyway, but maybe
you should skip this shit with a vengeance or something.
8. REV. GETRIGHT
Celph Titled
tackles a solo track with enough force to wish that he would release an entire
project produced by J-Zone, because even with the silly concept (one which you
can probably guess at just by reading the song title), he sounds fucking nice. Zone's
beat also knocks, which is always helpful, but the star here is most certainly
Celph, whose three verses command your attention, even his finale, on which he
adopts a speed-rap flow in response to the fact that, technically, he's a
Southern artist because he's from Tampa. Not that you'll give a shit, because
you'll be too entertaining to care about a back story.
9. BO$$ HOG MALT LIQUOR (FEAT. DICK $TALLION)
A commercial
break that both pays homage to those old St. Ides commercials where rappers
spit their praises about their alcoholic nectar of choice (remember that
shit? It was always either St. Ides or
Sprite, for some reason) and foreshadows a future J-Zone project (his alter ego
Chief Chinchilla's Live @ The Liqua Sto). Zone and Celph pimp their fake malted
poison to the masses and are obviously having fun with the silly-as-shit
premise, as their actual bars (yes, they do rap on here) are enjoyable as hell.
Ultimately a trifle, but a funny one.
10. DOG SHOW PAGEANT
If Celph
gets a solo song, it's only fair for Zone to get his turn in the spotlight, but
unfortunately, “Dog Show Pageant” isn't worthy of the listener's time. The
beat, handled by Celph, is okay enough, but Zone revisits themes and topics
that he has continuously brought up since the beginning of Every Hog Has Its Day, and at this point his recycling makes it seem like he really doesn't have
anything new to say. His boasts and threats are a far cry from the
self-deprecating producer-slash-rapper that released A Bottle of Whup Ass. It's
cool for an artist to grow, and the rest of his work on Every Hog Has Its Day
is stellar, but this song just doesn't do a fucking thing for me. It is what it
is.
11. $TEADY $MOBBIN'
Each of our
hosts provide a single verse chock-full of punchlines and vague threats, but
though both sound pretty goddamn good, the reason this track works so fucking
well is because of J-Zone's instrumental, which is fairly awesome, walking the
fine line between funky and street with the aid of a pimp cane. The beat is so good that I wish Zone had left
it running and invited, at minimum, eight additional guests to chime in to a
badass posse cut. (I'm sure Al-Shid was
available, maybe?) The title is an
eye-roller, and the hook isn't all that great (even though Zone praises it at
the very end), but this was cool nonetheless.
12. THE WEIGHT DEBATE
Given that
this song is called “The Weight Debate”, it's obvious that Zone and Celph will
be battling over the preferred size of their respective chicks, but what isn't
expected is that our hosts are fighting over the same girl: Zone is turned off
by his lady love, who has added the pounds over the years, but those very
pounds are the reason Celph feels confident enough to tell Zone that he finds
her attractive. Every sarcastic remark Zone throws at the audience is countered
effectively by Celph's argument, and Celph sounds sincere enough to diffuse
what quickly could have become a flat-out mean song. It isn't great, but kudos
for trying something slightly different, I guess?
13. CELPH DESTRUCTION
After Zone's
hilarious description of his own beat, which I won't spoil here because I
actually want you two to listen to this, Celph launches into his second solo
effort, a one-verse wonder that dominates the instrumental with his powerful
delivery, one that he probably utilizes all the fucking time, even when
ordering a sandwich or trading in his DVR box at Comcast. I know I certainly
would. Celph Titled demands the audience's attention so effectively that I'm a
little shocked that his rap career doesn't already incorporate the occasional
mainstream cameo appearance mixed in with the rest of his underground
lifestyle. This shit was nice, and that title was so obvious that I can’t
believe he’s never used it before.
14. HELL NO, HO!
Like every
artist in any medium ever, J-Zone has to field questions and complaints
regarding how and why his later work doesn't resemble his older stuff. He does
sound especially bitter regarding the status of his former crew, the Old Maid Billionaires,
though. His book, which is fucking great, doesn't really touch on his falling
out with Huggy Bear, so I suppose it's a private matter, but I still wonder
just what happened, because I enjoyed their work together. Anywho, “Hell No,
Ho!”, the only song on Every Hog Has Its Day produced by a third party (Da
Beatminerz, of all people!), is a keeper that features a single verse from both
Zone and Celph, each man doing their best to deflect bullshit questions while
doing what they do best, with Celph taking the trophy, as expected.
15. J-ZONE HOGGAMIX
J-Zone fills
the void of deejay tracks missing from modern-day hip hop albums with a quickie
built entirely from scratches and samples. This was essentially an interlude,
but you'll probably let it play out in full.
16. BO$$ HOGGIN'
Vintage Barbarian$, from Zone's dope (and slightly unnerving) instrumental all the
way to the verses from both of our hosts. There is no new ground broken here:
the shit-talking on this song is interchangeable with ever other track on Every Hog Has Its Day. But when it's performed this well, one tends to not give much
of a damn.
17. SNOUTRO
An outro, on
which our hosts refuse to thank anybody for their assistance, because they
created Every Hog Has Its Day all by their goddamned selves. Not an original
idea, but given the participants, entirely expected. The Celph Titled beat
bangs, though. And with that, here are my final thoughts.
FINAL
THOUGHTS: As I mentioned above, don’t come into Every Hog Has Its Day if you’re
looking for the newly-reinvigorated J-Zone, the guy who plays his own drums and
has mentally evolved past the music industry and sees everything for what it
is, choosing to perform only what appeals to him. This collaboration with Celph
Titled was probably fun for him to record, but the J-Zone on here is still the
same guy from A Job Ain’t Nuthin’ But Work, which is to say, a little
uninspired behind the mic. Having Celph in the studio with him helps him focus
on the ignorant task at hand, as Celph’s bars are delivered with the cockiness
and swagger of ten Celph’s, but this is still more of a Zone album than a Celph
project, so your mileage may vary. For the most part, I enjoyed revisiting
Every Hog Has Its Day, even if my eyes rolled back into my head due to a lot of
the ridiculously, comically misogynistic lyrics on here: it is a little much at
times, and there’s no way these guys would ever drop this album in today’s
climate, regardless of how much they dig ignorant rap tropes. But for what it
is, it’s not bad. If only I could be bothered to listen to that bonus disc,
though.
BUY OR BURN?
If you’ve enjoyed every other J-Zone project so far, you most likely already
have Every Hog Has Its Day in your collection, but if this one somehow slipped
past you, pick it up, as you’ll like it, and it’ll sound new to you. As for
everyone else, this album isn’t an entryway into the catalogs of either J-Zone or
Celph Titled, so maybe give it a stream on Zone’s Bandcamp page and decide
whether you want to throw some money at him or not.
BEST TRACKS:
“Celph Destruction”; “Givea Hog A Bone”; “Rev. Getright”; “Bo$$ Hoggin’”
-Max
RELATED
POSTS:
Not much in
the way of Celph Titled, I’m afraid, but there’s plenty more to read about
J-Zone here.
Great review as always, Max! On a unrelated topic, have you heard of The Wascals' album Greatest Hits? That album is bananas and it's a shame that it took thirteen long years for that album to finally be released. The album was supposed to released in 1994, but it got sheleved and wasn't released until 2007. The best part of that album is that the second disc contains all of the instrumentals. Some of my favorite songs include F.U.N., Bootie Rap, Class Clown, and Hard Rhymes.
ReplyDeleteI've honestly never even heard of this, but now I need to track it down. Thanks for that.
DeleteI was introduced to Celph Titled on that Fort Minor mixtape called We Major, which also introduced me to Lupe Fiasco and Ghostface Killah’s rhymes. Because, you see, my first exposure to GFK was the first two Def Jam wrestling games.
ReplyDeleteUnpopular opinion time: Fort Minor wasn't bad. Once they scored that radio hit with the artist currently known as Skylar Grey, though, I think most heads wrote Mike Shinoda off as pop music at best, and as a cultural appropriator at worst. Maybe I'll get around to talking about Fort Minor someday.
DeleteMike is a talented producer and a surprisingly tight rapper. His subject matter is pretty hit and miss though. I LOVE when it hits though. Too bad that lyrical side of him has pretty much sailed.
Deletethe buckwild and celph collab is also pretty damn good by the way i just wish zone was more willing to produce for other artists these days
ReplyDeleteyeah ninety ninety now is dope
DeleteMy favorite project from BOTH Celph Titled & Buckwild. So many things went right with that particular album.
DeleteI still bump the demigodz cut 'swashbuckling' quite often today
Delete