My Gut Reaction: Cloak N Dagga (Canibus + Phoenix Orion) - Def Con Zero (October 25, 2005)

Canibus had a busy 2005. The battle rapper who always wanted to be a real boy, the artist born Germaine Williams had an album released in June of that year, Mind Control, that was essentially a compilation of previously-recorded and leaked material that was only intended to drop if something happened to him during his brief stint in the United States Army, but even though the man was kicked out of the military (allegedly for smoking weed, which would be kind of funny had his rap name not been Canibus) before anything could really happen to him, the folks at the label, Gladiator Records, saw fit to drop the project anyway, much to his dismay, as even he refers to the album as “exceptionally mediocre material” today. His attempt to erase the memory of Mind Control with a different project, Hip Hop For Sale, saw release in November that same year, but it saw its own share of controversy behind the scenes, a story I’ll perhaps get to in the future if I’m still feeling especially masochistic.

In between, however, Canibus tried a different tactic: teaming up with fellow battle rapper Michael “Phoenix Orion” Lamont to form a duo, calling themselves Cloak N Dagga and releasing their lone joint effort, Def Con Zero, on underground label Head Trauma Records.

This was notable mostly because Canibus was not a guy who was known for playing well with others. As one of hip hop’s cameo kings in the late 1990s and early 2000s, he obviously had to work with other rappers, but when it came to his own projects, he was much more stingy with the microphone. All of that changed with Def Con Zero, a team-up that actually doesn’t sound all that bad on paper.

Phoenix Orion, or PXO as he refers to himself (I won’t be doing that here), is a Brooklyn-bred rapper who has maintained a steady career in hip hop’s underground for two decades now. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I know a ton about the man, but he has a large Bandcamp presence filled with projects featuring him working alongside other artists (so he’s a consistent collaborator, at least), and he even managed to score placement on the Linkin Park remix project Reanimation, which, surprisingly, sold almost two million copies in the United States alone even though it features primarily underground rappers, which is a feat in and of itself. So Orion’s been through it, so working alongside Canibus should have opened some more doors for someone who was willing to put in the work.

The fact that Phoenix Orion and Canibus haven’t worked together since Def Con Zero probably tells me everything I need to know about the recording experience, I suppose.

Def Con Zero came packaged with a DVD with behind-the-scenes footage revealing the making of the album, which may have answered some of the lingering questions I had after writing my notes had I bothered to look it up. The best I can figure is that Canibus believed himself to be the alpha, and in teaming up with another battle rapper, he may have felt the need to assert dominance, which isn’t the best thing to do when you’re supposed to be an equal partnership. Regardless of what happened, Canibus quickly moved on, as he does, while Phoenix Orion likely appreciated his brief time in the daylight before retreating back to his roots, with Def Con Zero being the only proof that these two even know each other, although even that’s questionable, as several songs on here don’t feature Orion at all.

Hmmm.

1. INTRO (BLACK KOBRA)

The first words spoken on this rap album intro are directed to the “gentlemen and ladies” in the audience. LOL! As though any women would ever listen to Def Con Zero by choice.  That statement may read as sexist, and I agree with you there, but if we’re being honest with one another, you know I’m right.

2. DEF CON ZERO

Although Germaine’s voice is the first you hear on this title track that also acts as both an introduction to our hosts and their mission statement, the opening verse of Def Con Zero goes to Phoenix Orion, who sounds fine and doesn’t make the mistake of trying to mimic the style of his rhyme partner. That doesn’t mean Canibus is an afterthought, though: he appears on over two-thirds of “Def Con Zero”, including the chorus and the remaining two verses. And he refers to himself as a “walking, talking version of Stephen Hawking”, so that was a thing that happened. The NIR instrumental was surprisingly engaging, far more so than most of Germaine’s beats up to this point in his career (at least the ones not provided by the likes of Stoupe the Enemy of Mankind or Wyclef Jean), and both rappers sounded pretty good over it. I… didn’t hate this. I know, I’m scared, too.

3. MAJESTIC MIC MASTERS

Another interesting instrumental here, albeit one that could have been fleshed out even further. Def Con Zero seems to be leaning pretty heavily on the Canibus of it all thus far, as Germaine handles the bookending verses and a hook, one that is pretty stupid, all things considered. His bars are fine, though: even with him pulling out his well-worn set of encyclopedias and cramming as much pseudo-knowledge into each line as possible, he also manages to deliver the same relative range, if not the exact type, of braggadocio that made him so goddamn popular in the late 1990s. I’m saying his boasts-n-bullshit are more than tolerable on “Majestic Mic Masters”. What the hell is going on here? Phoenix does what he can with his minimal-by-comparison contribution, and isn’t bad, either, although literally everything either man says on here will evaporate from your consciousness instantaneously.

4. CLOSE TO ME (FEAT. TYRANT & FREE)

This one was a bit confusing for me, as there are three verses and four credited artists, and the dude who performs the middle stanza doesn’t quite sound like the Phoenix Orion we’ve been hearing on Def Con Zero thus far, but it would be weird (if not exactly unheard of) for Canibus to leave his partner off of a song this early in the project, right? So it’s a good thing “Close To Me”, an avant-garde cover of the Cure standard, isn’t really worth the time it takes for you to actually listen to it. The beat is okay, but Germaine dominates the scene with a verse so lengthy (it eats up over half of the audio track) that my mind wandered over to something else, and when I snapped back to reality, I was bothered by the fact that Canibus was still on the mic. His old friend from the Refugee Camp All Stars, Free (better known for her stint hosting 106 & Park), has much more to work with here than she did during her turn as a stripper on Mind Control’s “Gybaotc”, actually spitting a verse that wasn’t bad, if a bit of an overreach for someone who we once watched on daytime television every afternoon. I’d still skip past this one regardless.

5. LETTER FROM HEAD TRAUMA (FEAT. K-SOLO & KOOL G. RAP)

All four credited artists on this bizarre ode to the label that released Def Con Zero, “Letter To Head Trauma”, are accounted for on here, though. This means that former Hit Squad affiliate K-Solo, who resorts to his spelling-out-important-words gimmick from his solo career, and genial dude who likes cashing checks and doesn’t understand how the word “no” works Kool G. Rap, both join Cloak and Dagga as each takes a turn over an instrumental that sounds like Public Enemy’s “Black Steel In The Hour of Chaos”, but altered just enough to avoid potential lawsuits. Canibus has spit alongside big names before, so this was old hat for him, but Orion manages to both fanboy out and write a decent verse, which was awfully nice of him. Solo’s gruff delivery system forced me to remember that one time  Canibus worked alongside the “Spellbound” rapper’s sworn enemy DMX (who was one of the hip hop cameo kings from the late 1990s and early 2000a alongside… Canibus. Huh). G. Rap’s opening line is backmasked, making me believe that this was originally intended for an altogether different project, one that didn’t involve Phoenix Orion, and he sounds aged and over it throughout his performance. But the song still go released, so.

6. GOLD TRIGGA (FEAT. CRYSTAL CELESTE GRANT)

Although “Close To Me” is ultimately a song nobody needs to hear, at least it had a moderate amount of redeeming value. “Gold Trigga” is fucking embarrassing for all parties involved, though, and that includes me, because I’m writing this sentence, which I’ll stop doing n

7. GRUNTIN (INTERLUDE)

Ultimately pointless. Its inclusion on Def Con Zero is also questionable: why would Orion attack his rhyme partner like this? Why would Canibus agree to keep it on the final cut? There’s no way Germaine would ever acknowledge his toxic personality traits in his lifetime.

8. DON’T HURT NOBODY

This isn’t good even in a remote sense, but “Don’t Hurt Nobody” is fascinating in that it showcases a shift in the dynamic of the project thus far, as Phoenix Orion takes over the lead role, dominating the track while Germaine contributes a single verse and nothing more. I wish I could say Orion’s performance stood out, but it just flat-out doesn’t: he’s fine, but that isn’t good enough for him to win. The instrumental was blandly radio-friendly, too, which makes one wonder just who Cloak and Dagga felt their audience would even be.

9. TITANS

I suppose it’s entirely possible that “Gruntin (Interlude)” was included on here as a way to subtly explain why Orion is suddenly taking the lead on the project’s songs now, leaving Canibus to be nothing more than a figurehead, a panelist, a paid contributor who doesn’t have all that much to say. Not like “Titans” has any specific theme either of our hosts were required to adhere to anyway: talking about how you are the best rapper to have ever touched a microphone is just something you’re supposed to do within our chosen genre. The beat is heavier than most of what we’ve heard, but mo9re in a “huh, I didn’t notice that pounding headache before”-way than it is “entertaining”, and the hook is grating on the ears. Still, someone probably likes this one, I’m sure.

10. NEVER RUN (FEAT. ZOO KEEPA)

That awful chorus on “Titans” introduces new alter-egos for our hosts, as Canibus adopts the nickname “Tombstone” on “Never Run” while Orion chooses to go by Bones the Body Bagger (I think, anyway – I can’t be bothered to research this further as I just can’t bring myself to care). This lasts for but a brief moment, however: heaven forbid either of these guys stay on brand. Orion’s bars give me the impression that, given better production, he could have crafted an underground sleeper of an album, but by hitching a ride on the Canibus train, he’s doomed to always be a mere footnote in Germaine’s eventual autobiography, which will be over five thousand pages long and will consist of eight sentences in total. And this is even though Phoenix Orion was a known quantity (of sorts) before Def Con Zero even existed. The hook on “Never Run”, provided by guest star Zoo Keepa, is awful, but both of our hosts deliver straight bars with complete disregard for “proper verse length” and “songwriting conventions”, and as such, they managed to sound pretty good. It helps that Jizzm’s instrumental pulsates and keeps this enterprise moving at a fast clip, I suppose.

11. CLOAKMAN

Germaine takes over the reigns once again, but as this song is named after his half of the duo, it makes sense, shrug? The beat is trash and the hook is wildly boring, but “Cloakman” features the first instance of something that Def Con Zero should have been fucking filled with: Canibus and Phoenix passing the microphone back and forth, feeding off one another’s energy. I understand they likely recorded their bars separately, but at least the editing is decent enough on here that we can all still play pretend. It’s a pity that neither artist says anything even close to memorable. It’s weird that I’m this deep into a Canibus project and still don’t have any interesting quotes from the man to take away.

12. Y’ALL CAN’T BALL

Phoenix Orion actually says, “Rolling through the concrete jungle of concrete” at one point, so that, combined with an incredibly shitty hook that actively treats the audience like we’re all morons that have no idea how songs should sound, is enough for you two to never give a fuck about “Y’all Can’t Ball”. I know, it’s weird that Canibus isn’t the problem on at least this one song, but stranger things have happened. (That previous sentence isn’t meant to imply that Germaine’s verse is stellar: it isn’t. He’s just too bland on here to even care about.)

13. COMMANDOS

Something Ive been wondering about for quite a while now: why isn’t there a hip hop equivalent to a Linda Perry or a Diane Warren, a hired gun brought on to craft a catchy chorus while the artist(s) in question focuses on writing their own verses? Is it because rappers are loathe to share any credit? Or are they fear the criticism inherent from not being one hundred percent responsible for every single syllable and note? Because the more hooks like the inane dumpster fire the listener receives on “Commandos”, the faster people will move on from hip hop as a viable, thriving musical genre just to avoid the embarrassment factor. Anyway, this song sucked.

14. H.T.R.

I legitimately, no bullshit, thought that “H.T.R.” was just Canibus and Phoenix Orion jumping onto that trend we’ve all noticed where artists eliminate the vowels from their song titles or band names , with our hosts using this as an excuse to commence attacking their haters, having blissfully forgotten for a brief moment that these letters stand for Head Trauma Records. Considering how often these two jackasses have shilled for the label on Def Con Zero, I have no motherfucking idea how that one slipped past me. “H.T.R.” could have also benefited from a hook transplant, as the chorus is so uninspired that neither of our hosts could help but sound bored by their own empty threats and hollow posturing. Groan.

15. LIVIN’ (FEAT. CHALIE MACKMANSUPREME)

I would never but a Canibus album to hear R&B hooks post-Can-I-Bus, would you? So why does “Livin’” seemingly go against everything one expects from Germaine at this point? This motherfucker is trying to throw us for a loop by writing an actual “song”. Said hook, performed by a guest with the hilarious last name of Mackmansupreme,  is overlong and flat, and in concert with the instrumental, it seems to want to introduce a track where our hosts discuss societal ills. At least that’s the memo Phoenix Orion read, as his performance is based around stories from his own life. Germaine doesn’t even bother trying to relate to the audience, talking his shit and dropping references to Ill Al Skratch songs (of all things), which begs the question: what was the point of this song even? Of this album? Do you understand life?

16. RHYTHMATIC JIU JITSU

Canibus tends to get overly caught up in his own verses, seemingly so impressed with his word choices and flow that he forgets what he just said even a single bar prior. For example, within three lines on the organ-tinged “Rhythmatic Jiu Jitsu” not a typo), Germaine claims to have gone “to the morgue to identify the body of rap,” but then brags about being “the reason every rapper in the world still breathing.” Which is it, motherfucker? Is hip hop dead or not? Pick a side, dick. And why isn’t Phoenix Orion anywhere to be found on this track?

17. UNIVERSAL SOLDIERS (FEAT. POWER MOVE & HALO INFINITY)

A lot of DefCon Zero focuses on a loose theme of Canibus and Phoenix Orion posing as soldiers tasked to protect our chosen genre, which plays into Germaine’s more-limited-than-he’ll-ever-admit experience in the armed forces. So naming a song “Universal Soldiers” is a gimme. Sadly, everyone involved with rhyming on this track skew more toward the Dolph Lundgrens and Jean Claude Van Dammes of the world: while they may be good at other things, they have no business rapping on what is ostensibly a rap song. And I lump our hosts into that designation, as everyone sounds shitty on here. I will concede that the awful ad-libs during the third verse are so bad they become hilarious.

18. SIT YOUR HOT ASS DOWN (FEAT. K-SOLO & MICHELLE REGNIER MEZZO SOPRANO)

Youi know, if K-Solo is hurting for money, I’m sure Erick and Parish would welcome him back into the fold on some nostalgic-driven urge. Sermon has to resort to Kickstarter to get the funds to release new albums these days, and I’m sure he could still offer Solo a better contract than Canibus ever could. The singing on “Sit Yo Hot Ass Down”, courtesy of the other guest with the rather long name, is okay, but a little of it goes a very long way. Black Rhino’s instrumental kind of bangs, though, and both Germaine and his guest do some good things with it. (Orion is still sitting in the penalty box, apparently.) A nice late-in-the-day gem that isn’t worth the effort it took for me to sit through this godforsaken album: I’d suggest you two skip ahead by going to YouTube.

19. VENOMOUS SPIT (B.K. ANTHEM)

Over a looped sample of The Alan Parsons Project’s “Sirius”, a solo Canibus, who fails to mention just where he buried his rhyme partner after having clearly murdered him several tracks prior, delivers a shirt one-verse wonder to end the project, during which he refers to himself as “LL Cool G”, standing for “Ladies Love Cool Germaine”, because Canibus is a messy bitch that refuses to let anything go. I’m so over this shit.

The DVD that comes with Def Con Zero features two additional songs from our hosts, neither of which I’ve listened to (as I wrote these words while listening to YouTube), nor will I bother tracking down. What can I say? I value my own time at least a little bit.

THE LAST WORD: All in all, Def Con Zero isn’t quite as bad as I feared it would be. Oh, it isn’t very good, but a lot of that is due to the bargain basement-level production values on the tracks: both Canibus and Phoenix Orion sound more than decent throughout the project, with Germaine’s tendency to crawl up his own asshole tempered a bit by the constant presence of a rhyme partner. At least until the dude vanishes entirely, anyway. Canibus has always had a problem securing tight beats to score his thoughts, and that trait continues throughout Def Con Zero, which, incredibly enough, started off strong but tripped over an ottoman right away, never recovering enough to play it off as a goof. Phoenix Orion doesn’t exactly deserve better than Def Con Zero, as I’m not super-familiar with his work otherwise, but at least attaching himself to Canibus helped him pay the rent for a year or so, and he isn’t bad: I wouldn’t mind hearing the man perform alongside other rappers in the future, so perhaps I should look him up now. The star attraction here will always be Canibus, though, and while he hits the same roadblocks as always with his rhymes, at least he also manages to suck the life out of the room nearly every time he appears. Def Con Zero is a weak effort from a record label you’ve likely never heard of before, and is all the more frustrating because we all know what Canibus is capable of when he has the proper backing. But while this album was pretty terrible, I stop short of calling it a complete waste of your time, because there are points where Canibus and Phoenix Orion seem to have pretty good chemistry together. Why they felt the need to refer to themselves as Cloak N Dagga is beyond me, though, as their group name fails to come up the vast majority of the time. Also, can someone please tell Kool G. Rap that it’s okay for him to turn down some requests for guest verses?

-Max

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