Ol' Dirty Bastard - The Trials and Tribulations of Russell Jones (March 19, 2002)

The Wu-Tang Clan's fourth collective album, Iron Flag, was a critical success, if not a commercial one, and while some random blogger named Max may have called it a better album than The W, I believe that everyone can agree it was missing one key component: Ol' Dirty Bastard. As he was imprisoned at the time, it makes sense that he was unable to appear on the group's fourth opus. However, that does not explain the existence of The Trials and Tribulations of Russell Jones.

First, a little background. Dirty's original label, Elektra Records, realized that the gold-selling and commercially successful artist that they had signed off of the strength of his appearances on Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) was an unstable drug addict, prone to both crashing awards ceremonies and occasional superheroic efforts (I always liked the story about Dirty lifting up a car to save a little girl), and once he was locked away, made a hasty but not unexpected business decision to drop his sorry ass. The legal way for them to do this (without facing the wrath of the Wu-Tang Killa Bee Lawyers, anyway) was to complete the terms of his contract, so Elektra employed the "bullshit greatest hits album" technique, which is both time-tested and patented; never mind the fact that this motherfucker had only released two albums. The hits album sold about as poorly as you would expect an album with zero promotion to sell. (To add insult to some previously mentioned insults, Elektra actually released a second greatest hits album after his passing, which contained everything from the first hits album and a couple of his outside guest spots. Appalling behavior, even for something as shady and unethical as a record label.)

Dirt McGirt was left without a major label to call home, so this is the point in the story where D3 Entertainment stepped in. (I know, I had never heard of them either.) D3 was apparently the blueprint for the rap artist graveyard that Koch Records would soon perfect, releasing albums from rappers who were past their prime, such as Big Syke, Spice 1, and Wu-Tang b-teamers Sunz of Man (minus Killah Priest, who was busy cutting his Wu ties at the time, although he would later retract his anti-Wu statements, probably under duress). Shit, Ol' Dirty was the biggest star on the goddamn label, and I bet the motherfucker never even saw the inside of D3's office, which was located in the upstairs break area of a Los Angeles-based OfficeMax.

Dirty's third solo album, if you can even call it that, would be his final CD to be released in his lifetime, which of course means that Ol' Dirty is essentially overshadowed by the multiple ridiculous guest appearances, most of which were determined by picking names out of a magician's hat. The Trials and Tribulations of Russell Jones is largely considered to be an unauthorized album, released without the thumbs-up from the Jones family, but while ODB wasn't actually present to give everyone high-fives and pour Gatorade on the engineer, you shouldn't fool yourself. This album is, sadly, an actual official Wu-Tang release, although you wouldn't be able to tell that just by hearing it. (What, you mean you don't actually listen to music?) None of the principle members of the Clan make appearances, not even U-God, who probably had a hair appointment during the duration of the recording. This leaves plenty of room for some of the flat-out dumbest guest spots to ever appear on a Wu-Tang record, and I've been unfortunate enough to listen to La the Darkman's collaborations with Vanilla Ice. The beats are almost exclusively provided by the apparent D3 in-house producer Tytanic, and these beats attempt to showcase Dirty in a fun and freewheeling way, albeit in the most amateurish way possible. It's no wonder that Tytanic hasn't produced anything since: he probably was promoted to the night supervisor slot in the copy center and never looked back.

It won't be a surprise for my two readers to read that The Trials and Tribulations of Russell Jones describe neither the court trials nor any tribulations in his life: indeed, the disc has about as much substance as a box of Splenda. The album is a horrible ending to the legacy of the most spontaneous artist in the Clan, and should probably be ignored for the most part. (The critics agree: this album was savagely ripped apart upon its release, and nobody you know has ever heard of this CD, let alone owns it.) While it is obvious that at least a handful of these tracks were honest attempts by Ason to record a composition with the intention of releasing it to the public (a couple of the collaborative efforts come to mind), the majority of these quote-unquote "songs" are patchwork quilts made up of previously released Dirty lyrics, some tenth-rate bargain-basement beats that ODB never intended to spit to, and sole leftover Bubble Tape. And if Dirt McGirt were actually around to supervise the mastering of the disc, I would certainly hope that he would have removed the fucking Insane Clown Posse from the album's intended first single, "Dirty & Stinkin'", since I cannot fathom any line of thinking where the addition if suck-ass hacks such as ICP would equal platinum sales. If D3 was insistent on including goofy white rappers on this album, they could have called on MC Chris or MC Paul Barman. But I'm getting off track.

What says Max of this bullshit album? (Oops, did I give it away?)

1. INTRO

Not a good start.

2. CAUGHT UP (FEAT MACK 10 & ROYAL FLUSH)

Wow, the hook is so annoying that I almost want to choke the motherfucker. I know that ODB has much love for his contemporaries on the West Coast, but Mack 10? Really? Was Coolio not available? Royal Flush is actually pretty decent, but he lost me at the end of his verse with the "blowing all the sergeants" line. Even when heard in context, you're left wondering if he really thought that was the best wording to use.

3. DIRTY & STINKIN' (FEAT INSANE CLOWN POSSE)

Three words: this shit sucks.

4. DOGGED OUT (FEAT BIG SYKE & TOO $HORT)

Utilizes some reused vocals from the Wu-Tang Clan's "Dog Shit", which isn't even a good enough song to want to utilize in the first place. The guests are wasted here, but I'm sure the meager checks D3 supplied for them were enough to justify going insane over the Wendy's 99 cent menu.

5. FREE WITH MONEY

Skit...

6. ANYBODY (FEAT C-MURDER & E-40)

This collaboration looks weird on the computer screen, and it sounds even more bizarre, so much so that it never gels properly. However, thanks to this song, I now know that ODB and E-40 share the same birthday. Great, that's another fucking card I have to mail.

7. WAITRESS # 13

Another useless skit. Why she isn't called Waitress # 45 is unknown to me.

8. REUNITED

When Wu-Tang Forever dropped, one of the most sought-after B-sides was an alternate version of "Reunited" that featured ODB interpolating Peaches and Herb over the same string-laden beat by The Rza. This is not that song, although it reuses his terrible singing voice. Also, while I'm complaining, there are no guests to be seen on this song, so who the fuck is Russell reuniting with? Huh?! Didn't think of that, did you, D3?

9. HERE COMES THE JUDGE (FEAT BUDDHA MONK)

Almost partially entertaining, if only because Ol' Dirty sounds better when he rhymes with someone that he has at least some chemistry with. Speaking of which, ICP? What the fuck?

10. CUTE DEVILS

Skit...

11. I WANNA FUCK (FEAT ROYAL FLUSH)

While it is pretty funny the first time to hear the dude who singe the hook to harmonize the phrase "bust a nut", it isn't funny enough.

12. HIGHJACK

Skit...

13. LINTBALLZ (FEAT 12 O' CLOCK, PRODIGAL SUNN, HELL RAZAH, POPA CHIEF, & BUDDHA MONK)

Sounds like an outtake from the N---a Please studio sessions, for good reason: "Lintballz" is the most Wu-sounding song here, if only for the guests and not the beat (Buddha Monk isn't The Rza, not by a long shot). The hook is completely lame, but the song itself isn't the worst thing I've heard today.

14. ZOO TWO

Um...reuses lyrics from Return To The 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version's "Damage", which Dirty had already reused on "Brooklyn Zoo II (Tiger Crane)", a song from the same album. The fuck?

15. ANYBODY (REMIX) (FEAT C-MURDER & E-40)

Well, at least the beat is better this go-round.

16. TAKING A SHIT

One of the most unnecessary skits I have heard in my lifetime, and I've seen partial episodes of Mad TV.

17. C'MON

Reuses lyrics from "Baby C'mon", a far superior song. Listening to this album is almost like playing a bastardized version of Name That Tune, except instead of identifying songs based on their melody, you do it based on the lyrics. As such, it's too much work, and it taxes the brain.

18. DIRTY & STINKIN' (REMIX) (FEAT INSANE CLOWN POSSE)

No amount of tweaking would ever make this song sound good. You want to add some guitars? Sure, why not? It won't help: the song still sounds like ass. The Trak Starz, who would make their name as a production team by producing those annoying Chingy songs, remixed this track, which sounds predictably dreadful.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Listening to The Trials and Tribulations of Russell Jones is akin to trying to ignore every other child that isn't your own at a school talent show: you really don't want to hear their shit, but you feel embarrassed and ashamed for everyone involved. This audible car wreck is probably the reason that D3 no longer exists as a record label, but instead as a manufacturer of industrial-strength lubricant. Hearing these sub-par Dirty verses strung together makes me thankful that The Rza opted to not include him on Iron Flag, as blasphemous as that sounds.

BUY OR BURN? You couldn't tell? I will say that I would rather listen to this than U-God's solo debut, but if I were stranded on a desert island with only these two albums to listen to, I'd break one in half and slash my wrists. It's that awful.

BEST TRACKS: None.

-Max

RELATED POSTS:

Ol' Dirty Bastard - N---a Please
Ol' Dirty Bastard - Return To The 36 Chambers: The Dirty Version

Killarmy - Dirty Weaponry (August 11, 1998)

Wu B-teamers Killarmy, a rap group that glorifies military warfare in their songs even though not a one of the six members have ever joined any kind of military service, sold enough copies of their debut album, Silent Weapons For Quiet Wars, to warrant the release of a follow up. Dirty Weaponry was placed on store shelves almost exactly one year after their debut, and was one of (if not the) final albums under the distribution arm of Wu-Tang Records/Priority; the label deal would soon fold up faster than an Ikea card table. (Priority records apparently didn't realize that the only members of the Wu-Tang Clan that move substantial units are the ones that are actually part of the original group.)

Killarmy were New York-based rappers by way of Steubenville, OH, where The Rza and his family would summer every year. Allegedly, this town in Ohio was the epicenter of the whole 'Wu-Tang as gun-runner' debacle, which was the reason the FBI had an informant infiltrate the ranks of the Clan. (Thanks, Cappadonna!) Personally, I highly doubt that any of the eight generals and U-God would be stupid enough to endorse something as ridiculous as gun-running, when there is a lot more money in drugs. But that's just me.

Dirty Weaponry was recorded after the group's manager, General Wise, was murdered in the streets of Steubenville. But that may have been just a sad coincidence. Dirty Weaponry was also recorded upon the release of group member Islord, who was in the clink for the majority of the first disc. he makes up for lost time on the second disc, standing alongside Killa Sin, 9th prince (Rza's brother), Shogun Assasson, Dom Pachino, and Beretta 9 (Rza's production partner nowadays), all of whom showcase an incrementally heightened flow and presence, thanks to some guest appearances that a few of them (specifically Killa Sin) clocked in the off season.

Dirty Weaponry didn't sell as well as its predecessor, but with its darker, yet somber tone throughout, I don't think anyone except for an overeager A&R expected this disc to move units. Since Killarmy aren't known for their club bangers, listening to Dirty Weaponry turned out to be the equivalent of being forced to watch The Thin Red Line in history class. I even had to take notes.

Which I will share with you...now.

1. GALACTICS
After a bizarre film sample (I assume), four of the group members (including Islord) catch wreck over an Allah Mathematics instrumental, which is surprising considering the group's allegiance to 4th Disciple. (Don't worry, 4th carries the majority of this disc.) This re-introduction to Killarmy actually works pretty well.

2. ALLAH SEES EVERYTHING
Not bad, but not on the same level when compared to "Galactics", and I'm talking about both the beat and the rhymes.

3. 5 STAGES OF CONSCIOUSNESS
The first (and, up until this point, only) Killarmy song to feature all six members of the group on the same song. Even the actual Wu-Tang Clan doesn't have that much trouble; they just record all of their parts in separate studios spanning the globe, and Rza pastes them all together over some random orchestrated beat he thought of while dipping his honey-dipped blunts into some chile con queso.

4. UNITE TO FIGHT
Not great, but incredibly short, so it leaves your short-term memory just before it gets annoying.

5. MURDER VENUE
Meh.

6. DOOMSDAY (FEAT HOLOCAUST)
Holocaust comes off as the lost seventh member of the group, which is more than anyone can say about the Wu-related group he was supposedly still a part of at the time (that would be the Black Knights, for those keeping score). This song is pretty good, if only because the presence of Holocaust causes Beretta 9 and Dom Pachino to step their game up (relatively speaking, of course).

7. RED DAWN
I didn't like the movie. I only recently saw it for the first time (which is unlike me, since I'm a fucking 80's movie junkie), and while it started off promising, it deteriorated into a two-hour nap for me, and I was distracted by the main Russian bad guy, who looks like my friend's father to such an extent that I'm afraid to talk to him to this day. This song is only barely better than the movie.

8. THE SHOOT OUT
The first (and to my knowledge, only) single. I still like this one ten years later (commence feeling old.....now), but this song can easily be described as the only track with a beat catchy enough to serve as an advertisement for Dirty Weaponry. I remember the video (which was retitled "Obstacle" on BET for some reason...censorship, perhaps?), in which The Rza sits on a throne while the members of Killarmy run through an obstacle course in order to prove themselves to The Abbott. One of many heights in pretentiousness for Prince Robert Diggs.

9. BASTARD SWORDSMAN (FEAT HOLOCAUST)
Holocaust out-raps all three of the Killarmy members that bothered to clock in that day.

10. LAST POET
Decent, and yet uncomfortable to listen to. It ends with a George Bush (the elder) sound bite, in which he refers to Saddam Hussein; he must be really happy that his son actually finished the job he began (which is amazing in and of itself, since George Bush can't even finish his dinner without assistance). The worst part of this song, though, is the fact that Dom Pachino saw fit to change his rap name to PR Terrorist for the entirety of Dirty Weaponry (a name he only uses today when he wants to shock someone, due to the events of September 11, 2001), and 9th Prince makes the mistake of calling himself Saddam. Yeah, that's a great idea, 9th. Here, I also have a metal fork that you can use to stab this electrical outlet. You know, before it stabs you.

11. SERVING JUSTICE
The only song on Dirty Weaponry in which they actively promote their Wu-Tang membership. Pretty decent, for what it is.

12. WHERE I REST AT
Not that great, but still better than U-God's album.

13. PAIN
I never once thought that Killarmy would be the Wu-Tang affiliate group that would spawn the most solo albums; I thought that Sunz of Man would easily take that title. So I was wrong. (It happens...rarely.) Anyway, this song features more violent lyrics over an strikingly calm beat, just like every other song on Dirty Weaponry; it may as well be the final song presented.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Killarmy are still Wu-affiliates, but you wouldn't know it by listening to Dirty Weaponry, where they don't even try to grab a chunk of the sword-swinging audience. They're still not the greatest of lyricists (Killa Sin acquits himself well, but 9th Prince and Dom Pachino still sound a little forced to me), but with nobody to compare themselves with, everyone does a good job. This is clearly not a high-energy listen, and nothing here will ever receive anything that remotely resembles radio airplay, but taken as a total package, it's not bad.

BUY OR BURN? Surprise! I would actually recommend a purchase, but with one caveat: it only applies if you're a Wu-Tang fan that appreciates their attempts to branch out. 'Regular' hip hop fans will probably be nonplussed by these six guys, but that's your loss. I still say, though, that the idea of a group made up of six rappers pretending they're going into war is a tough sell in America, so they have that going for them, which is nice.

BEST TRACKS: "Galactics"; "Doomsday"; "The Shoot Out"

-Max

RELATED POSTS:
Killarmy - Silent Weapons For Quiet Wars

Gravediggaz - The Pick, The Sickle and The Shovel (October 14, 1997)

The debut album from the Gravediggaz collective, N---amortis (if you live on U.S. soil, you know it as 6 Feet Deep; if you're in Sweden, Shiny Happy People Holding Hands), was met with critical acclaim, which colluded with the public opinion that it was a really fucking good album. The group became the first of only two Prince Paul side projects to warrant any sort of follow-up (the other one being Paul's Handsome Boy Modeling School albums with Dan "The Automator" Nakamura, which reminds me, I really need to review those albums, too).

The first Gravediggaz album was not in any way, shape, or form a Wu-Tang production, no matter how many people tried to prove me otherwise; it was a Prince Paul project that just so happened to include Prince Robert Diggs. Paul's fingerprints were all over that motherfucker, and Rza was limited to producing about two and a half songs. While I would love to say that their second album, The Pick, The Sickle and The Shovel, was still Paul's baby, we have to be honest with ourselves. Since the release of the first disc, The Rzarector became a star in his own right, and, predictably, was the guy that was leaned on the most by Gee Street, their label, to reproduce some of that old magic (Wu-Tang Forever was released to critical acclaim and big sales numbers earlier in 1997), so Prince Paul (The Undertaker) was pushed to the wayside. Not that this album sounds like Forever Part 2 or anything, but I've always wondered what this could have sounded like had Paul contributed more than one skit, the outro, and a photograph.

The Pick, The Sickle and The Shovel proves to its audience right from the jump that the Gravediggaz's focus had shifted completely from what they were originally looking at. Prince Paul, The Rza, Frukwan (The Gatekeeper) and Poetic (Grym Reaper) were known as the best representatives from the hip-hop sub-genre "horrorcore", which the group would never lay claim to anyway, as their debut album was a satire. (For fans of actual horrorcore, I saw Esham detailing my car with a toothbrush (extra-soft bristles!) over at the Kwik Wash.) For the follow up, The 'Diggaz take on a more spiritual bent, making it feel like a natural ancestor to the Maccabeez project (or, for that matter, any Killah priest solo album). Unlike N---amortis, where the underlying thread was a hateful diatribe against an increasingly outdated music industry (and against Tommy Boy records, specifically), The Pick, The Sickle and The Shovel is not a concept album, unless you're in the minority that considers "maturity" and "artistic growth" to be concepts.

As I wrote above, Prince Paul hardly participates on the disc, and his presence is missed greatly. The Rza, who executive produced the project, appears on less than half of the album's fifteen tracks, although he is a much bigger presence behind the boards this go round, and has utilized his pointy-ass finger claws to persuade Wu-Elements True Master, 4th Disciple, and future traitor Goldfinghaz to help make the disc sound more like the missing link between Wu-Tang Forever's "Sunshower" and Rza's lost album The Cure (still not released, and probably never will be). In the booth, this album belongs to Poetic and Frukwan, who bring their updated flows to the party and refuse to apologize for sticking their dicks in the mashed potatoes.

Sadly, the group as we know it disbanded shortly after this album's release. (Rza apparently discovered better things to do, like using his pointy finger claws to clean the tile grout in the Wu-Mansion, and Prince Paul wasn't the type of artist that Gee Street would entrust with a budget more than once.) Only The Gatekeeper and Grym Reaper would continue using the name; I suppose in a way, you could look at this album like the Iron Flag situation, as a practice session for Poetic and Frukwan for when they would be on their own. Sadly, Poetic passed away from colon cancer in 2001, leaving Frukwan as the last man standing.

Those of you who are holding out hope for a reunion, I wouldn't hold your fucking breath. Rza can't even keep the folks at his day job happy: what are the odds that he would return to a night shift at 7-11 that probably earned him no additional income but massive headaches?

Sad, that's what that is.

1. INTRO
I suppose I should be impressed that The Rza produced this intro, but it's not like it's an actual song or anything.

2. DANGEROUS MINDZ
I want to say this was the first single, but I'm not sure. Sounds good enough, but the guest appearances of Coolio and Michelle Pfeiffer are unnecessary.

3. DA BOMB
Uncharacteristic True Master production underlines the fierce performance of Frukwan, although Poetic keeps the pace pretty well.

4. UNEXPLAINED
Poetic actually stepped behind the boards for this impressive beat, and the song is decent, but you're left wondering what Rza was doing that was so much more important than appearing on songs with his brethren.

5. TWELVE JEWELZ (RZA SOLO)
First of all, is that subtitle really necessary? That's the height of conceit on the part of Prince Rakeem. Secondly, it seems that Rza's completely abandoned his Gravediggaz 'Rzarector' alias. Finally, while the rhymes are good, the beat (provided by little-known Wu-affiliate Darkim Be Allah) doesn't impress me.

6. FAIRYTALEZ (FEAT KELIS)
Yeah, that's the same Kelis that made her career with her milkshake and who married Nasir Jones. This was her first recorded appearance, and hearing this today, it's very hard to picture that the vocalist would go on to have her own career, since she sounds annoying, as if her vocals were run through ProTools nine thousand times. Oh, the rest of the song? I never cared for it.

7. NEVER GONNA COME BACK
Kind of like the Gravediggaz's version of the Lost Boyz's "Renee". This song grabbed me back in 1997, and today it still sounds great, thanks to some heartfelt rhymes and cinematic production by Goldfinghaz, whom you've never heard of and you never will again.

8. PIT OF SNAKES
The beat is meh as fuck, and the hook is frustrating, but the rhymes are decent at best, so it's not a complete waste of your time.

9. THE NIGHT THE EARTH CRIED
4th Disciple and The Rza co-produced this track, which I also believe was a single. I have to give Rza credit: he makes it a point to outrhyme his partners on every song he bothers to make an appearance on, something that doesn't even happen on actual Wu-Tang albums.

10. ELIMINATION PROCESS (FEAT SHABAZZ THE DISCIPLE, OMEN, & THE ALEEM BROTHERS)
The goofy sing-song to the tune of the Gilligan's Island theme song is hilarious. Shabazz comes with the same energy that he showcased on the first Gravediggaz project, but otherwise, this song is only alright.

11. REPENTANCE DAY (FEAT KILLAH PRIEST & HELL RAZAH)
Due to the participation of Killah Priest and Hell Razah, I was drawn to this song early on, since I'm a sucker for a Wu-Tang posse cut, and although this song's slow, simmering beat is awkward and meandering at first, it grows on you.

12. HIDDEN EMOTIONS (FEAT TRUE MASTER)

The track starts off with one of the only Prince Paul skits I've ever heard that isn't funny, but it is surprisingly touching; it's actually one of my favorite Paul-as-cinematic-auteur skits. True Master, the producer of the actual musical portion of the track, also pops up on the song itself, and his voice reminds me of a less polished Gza/Genius, which isn't a bad thing.

13. WHAT'S GOIN' ON (FEAT 9TH PRINCE & BLUE RASPBERRY)
The Rza's lone solo production effort (that isn't an intro) is also the most Wu-sounding song here. The beat knocks, and Rza, Frukwan, and Poetic rip the shit out of it, but the inclusion of Rza's brother 9th Prince is questionable. My guess is that he was tagging along that day and refused to leave the recording booth until Rakeem promised him a guest spot and an Choco Taco.

14. DEADLIEST BIZ
Decent, but kind of weak, being the last actual song on the album and all.

15. OUTRO
Prince Paul's lone track. At the end of the album. Telling.

FINAL THOUGHTS: The Pick, The Sickle and The Shovel is a much much more subdued cousin to N---amortis: it's not even fair to refer to this as a sophomore effort, since the sensibilities are completely fucking different. The in-your-face horrorcore is in the past, and what we're left with are three rappers that can hold your attention without resorting to shock tactics, such as chewing off one of their own fucking arms. Go into this expecting the exact opposite of N---amortis, and you won't be disappointed.

BUY OR BURN? You should pick this album up as soon as possible. Some poor production choices aside, this is a solid effort, and since Prince Paul's name is still associated with the album, he still receives a percentage of the royalties from the sales, so if for no other reason, pick it up.

BEST TRACKS: "Repentance Day"; "What's Goin' On"; "Dangerous Minds"; "Never Gonna Come Back"

-Max

RELATED POSTS:
Gravediggaz - 6 Feet Deep/N---amortis
Prince Paul - Psychoanalysis (What Is It?)

Wu-Tang Clan - Iron Flag (December 18, 2001)

Iron Flag, the Wu-Tang Clan's fourth studio album, was released one year after the critically-acclaimed-but-not-very-good The W. I suppose this could be considered very good news for Wu stans like myself. On the surface, its creation is directly correlated with the fallout from the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on U.S. soil, and references to the tragedy pepper the disc, but in my opinion, the real reason for the quick turnaround between discs was to combat the negative attention the Clan received for the weak production featured on The W, the multiple outside guest appearances, and that dumbass "Gravel Pit" video that I'm 110% sure Tamala Jones wishes never happened.

The Wu were going toe to toe with three unrelated events during the recording sessions of Iron Flag. Being a rap group based in New York, they were closer to the 9/11 tragedy than most people, and I suppose the fragility of human life, man's inhumanity to man, and the idea of a religious war possibly ending all life as we know it, spurred the Clan into action, recording what could have been their final album, because the future isn't promised to anyone.

On a much less serious note, the Wu were dealing with the aftermath of Cappadonna's business manager actually being an FBI informant. The Rza sacked him with the quickness, which is why he is now best known as a gypsy cab driver and sometimes teardrop donor. Cappa was most certainly privy to the Wu's recording sessions, but was seemingly erased from existence by The Rza's cold, dead hands. When it came to the songs, this was simple enough, since Rza's production technique involves having every member of the group spit on every beat presented, and then selecting the best verses when the time came to master the tracks. However, Rza went so far as to have Cappa removed from the publicity photograph used as Iron Flag's cover art, which resulted in one of the most hilarious examples of poor Photoshopping in recent memory, as only the top half of Cappadonna was erased. Here is the original shot:

Finally, any discussion regarding Iron Flag cannot gloss over the absence of Ol' Dirty Bastard from the final product, which is especially appalling when you consider that he's one of the founding members of the group, along with The Rza and Gza/Genius. Big Baby Osirus was locked up at the time, but I don't believe for a second that Rakeem didn't have any leftover Dirt McGirt vocals lying around, as the godawful "Conditioner" was created somehow. Dirty is sorely missed on Iron Flag, but if you want to look at the situation in the most morbid way possible, the remaining eight Wu-Tang Clan members were role-playing how to continue their career as a group if ODB was no longer a member in the physical sense. The absence is addressed with the inclusion of ODB's cousin (seriously) Flavor Flav (best known for Flavor Of Love, a truly pathetic way to end a legacy that started with Public fucking Enemy), who plays the role of drunken hypeman on "Soul Power (Black Jungle)", a track that was never even released as a single, so who the fuck knows what Rakeem was thinking.

Iron Flag did respectable numbers, which is remarkable considering the marketing was almost non-existent, as Loud Records was about three days away from folding. It was received well, but had to contend with the inevitable complaints, mostly of the "the album sounds rushed, as if it was recorded in three weeks, which is proven by the multiple references to 9/11" and "how DARE you record the group album without ODB" variety, although to be honest, I don't know where Russell would have even fit in on this disc. Soon after its release, although they never officially broke up, the non-incarcerated Wu members went their separate ways, and although they would still provide assists on each other's solo projects (except U-God's...insert evil laugh and mustache-twirling here), everyone essentially became their own artist. The Rza moved forward with his master plan of taking over all forms of music by taking on work scoring films, most notably Kill Bill, Vol. 1 and Soul Plane, while Method Man took his rightful place on the "rapper/actor" plateau, with roles in Garden State, HBO's The Wire, and the upcoming The Wackness, which I understand is pretty good, although it hasn't been released yet.

And on that note...

1. IN THE HOOD (FEAT STREET LIFE & SUGA BANG BANG)
The introductory film sample is interesting, and the beat Rza starts to rhyme to is decent. But then the real beat for "In The Hood" kicks in. The hook is annoying as fuck, but the song itself is decent; truth be told, though, the mere fact that puppet versions of the Clan performed this song on Crank Yankers has resulted in its appeal being lost in the wind.

2. RULES (FEAT STREET LIFE)
Sounds like a poor attempt by Allah Mathematics to scratch like DJ Premier. Ghostface's verse is entirely about 9/11 and the impending war, and is even more cringe-worthy than his work on "Child's Play", if only because he talks about George Bush and doesn't apply the word "fuck" before the name.

3. CHROME WHEELS (FEAT 12 O'CLOCK, PRODIGAL SUNN, & MADAME D)
This sounds like a Bobby Digital outtake, and the inclusion of 12 O'Clock (ODB's brother) and Prodigal Sunn, two guys who would usually be nowhere near a Wu-Tang Clan group album, reinforces my belief. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that Raekwon's verse was probably added after the fact to give the impression that this was an official Wu track. Taken as such, it's not bad, but it's not Wu-Tang.

4. SOUL POWER (BLACK JUNGLE) (FEAT FLAVOR FLAV)
Ghostface rips the track, but the song itself is too horrible to be salvaged by Flavor Flav's guest appearance. The conversation between Meth and the giant clock toward the end of the track is fascinating, though; it's as if someone miked the break room.

5. UZI (PINKY RING)
Not bad. Pretty sure this was the first single, and it is also the first appearance of Gza/Genius on Iron Flag. Why the hell did U-God get to start the track off, though? How does that sell your album? The beat is pretty good, though.

6. ONE OF THESE DAYS
The song isn't that good anyway, but damned if Lamont Hawkins doesn't flat out ruin the track with his verse, which was seemingly spit to a completely different beat. Are we sure that U-God wasn't the real FBI informant, tasked with the destruction of the Wu-Tang Clan from within?

7. Y'ALL BEEN WARNED
Great fucking track; easily my favorite one on Iron Flag. Raekwon's reference to the Wu being "nine Bin Ladens", which is backmasked on the retail version, is completely inappropriate, but par for the course for the Wu in general.

8. BABIES (FEAT MADAME D)
I never paid any attention to this song back in the day, probably due to its slow-moving beat; most of the slower Wu songs remind me of "Can It Be All So Simple", which to me means an automatic skip. Today, however, I think this song fucking rocks, and can be considered a great example of the storytelling that the Wu members are masters of.

9. RADIOACTIVE (FOUR ASSASSINS)
The only "Wu"-sounding song on Iron Flag, thanks to the kung-fu movie sample and the sound effects. Pretty damn good, but Meth...an N'Sync reference? Really?

10. BACK IN THE GAME (FEAT RON ISLEY)
I think this was a single, and there may be a video, but I'm too lazy to look for it. I can't fucking believe that the Wu bought a beat from the Trackmasters. Although I like Gza's verse, I never cared for this song.

11. IRON FLAG
I've always liked this track, even though the vocal sample on the beat irritates my wife. I was pleasantly surprised when Rza re-used this instrumental for his globe-spanning The World According To Rza vanity project. The bonus song included on track eleven is known as "The Glock", and is an interesting addition (similar to the unfinished thoughts from The W), but, yet again, U-God threatens to ruin the album with his incessant need to rhyme. Useless trivia note: Cappadonna's vocals are apparently heard in the background of "The Glock"; I guess even a perfectionist like The Rza misses things sometimes.

12. DASHING (REASONS)
Best known as the song that resembles, of all things, "Jingle Bells". Inspectah Deck, who's been pretty consistent throughout, rips the shit out of this one, but it's hard to stop the visions of sugarplums from dancing in your head.

International copies of Iron Flag contain the following bonus track:

13. THE W
This song was originally alluded to on The W as one of those skit/thoughts. It's not bad, but American audiences aren't missing anything.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Iron Flag is actually a much better album than The W, which of course means that nobody bought this disc. It shows a true return to form for the eight members, all of whom were probably revitalized by the events of the time. While that is a terrible reason to make an album, I, for one, am thankful they decided to do it, since in December 2001 memories of the Twin Towers were still fresh in everyone's minds, and at least the Wu tried to do something about it.

BUY OR BURN? I would recommend a purchase as quickly as possible. Seriously. It's a good album. And if you don't buy Iron Flag, the terrorists win. So there.

BEST TRACKS: "Rules"; "Y'all Been Warned"; "Babies"; "Radioactive (Four Assassins)"; "Uzi (Pinky Ring)"

-Max

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HHID Turns One: Hip Hop Now Slightly Less Comatose

So Hip Hop Isn't Dead celebrated its one year anniversary today. Good for me! Hopefully this site has encouraged people to at least try out one album that they wouldn't have otherwise.

Many thanks to my faithful two readers, those fine folks that keep checking on updates which I hope are coming with more regularity. Special shout out to those who use their free time to look at deviant porn and switch over to HHID whenever their significant other enters the room. Kudos!

Stay tuned...

-Max

N.W.A. - N.W.A. and The Posse (November 6, 1987)

N.W.A., or N----z With Attitude as their mothers called them, were a merry band of happy-go-lucky young men from the city of Compton, California, who just so happened to both change the face of hip hop and shift the audience's focus from the genre's birthplace of New York to the West Coast. Although there is still some controversy as to whether they actually invented the sub-genre 'gangsta rap' (I'm leaning toward not so much), there's no question that they packaged that material for the widest possible consumption, all while remaining uncompromising in their beliefs, and they were rewarded with massive record sales, street credibility, and a place in hip hop history; the mere fact that rap fans that were born sometime in the nineties actually know who these guys are is proof positive of that, although their roles in the game have shifted somewhat (Are We Done Yet?, anyone?).

Their first release, N.W.A and The Posse, beat the group's "true" debut, Straight Outta Compton, to the shelves by one year. The group had a distribution deal with Macola Records at the time, and while they were touring their hit singles, they discovered that their shady record label packaged together their singles, along with some other random songs that were either unfinished thoughts or older tracks recorded in the same booths but not actually from the group itself, and released the "album" without the group's authorization. The group was understandibly pissed off, but this was no JT The Bigga Figga/The Game situation, where JT released The Game's early recordings as a way to earn some extra money off of the interest Jayceon Taylor spawned from getting signed to (ironically) Dr. Dre's Aftermath Records. Oh, no, this crisis was seemingly averted as N.W.A. and The Posse sold over five hundred thousand copies, earning the group a gold plaque from the RIAA; as such, the tour started capitalizing off of the success of the disc, but N.W.A. (and their label, Ruthless Records, headed up by Eazy-E and Jerry Heller) slowly and carefully extracted themselves from their distribution contract with Macola and set themselves up with Priority Records, which would bring about its own problems, but we'll get to those later.

N.W.A. and The Posse is best known to me as the album whose cover makes it look like N.W.A. consisted of seven hundred members, including The Professor and Mary Ann. In truth, the album, which consists of only eleven tracks, only contains three actual N.W.A. songs (bumped up to four on the Priority/Ruthless re-release in 1989, which is the version I have); the rest of the disc is made up of some Eazy-E solo material and songs from the Fila Fresh Crew (a group that was also signed to Ruthless/Macola, and featured future N.W.A. songwriter The D.O.C.). (I suppose this is how Macola avoided false advertising charges, by referring to the album as being presented by N.W.A. and their posse, but I digress. I also have to say, poor Andre Young, getting fucked over on every record label he ever was signed to, before he started his own: that's some bad luck right there, but you just know that same thing is happening to the majority of the rappers signed today.) The common thread of the album is that every song, believe it or not, was produced by Dr. Dre, since he was essentially the in-house Ruthless producer for everyone they signed, not unlike what Mannie Fresh used to do for Cash Money Records before he decided that quality trumps quantity every time.

For the record, the majority of the people on the album cover are not in N.W.A. The group officially consisted of Andre Young (Dr. Dre, future famed neurosurgeon and part-time gynecologist), O'Shea Jackson (Ice Cube, main songwriter and future actor, who would find success doing fucking kids movies), the late Eric Wright (Eazy-E, drug dealer-slash-money man and semi-successful record label owner, who succumbed to an illness provoked by AIDS in 1995), Lorenzo Patterson (MC Ren, songwriter and future assistant manager of Carl's Jr, and the guy that doesn't even really appear on this album), Mik Lezan (Arabian Prince...sorry, I got nothing), and Antoine Carraby (DJ Yella, the group's second DJ next to Dr. Dre, and the only one to remain loyal to Eazy-E when the shit went down later on). Everyone except for Yella appear in the group shot, which doesn't really make sense, since Ren was the last member to be added to the group, but that's how it goes.

1. BOYZ-N-THE-HOOD
The version that Eazy put on his solo album is a remix of this song. There are only minor differences between this song and its more successful remix, but this version pales in comparison, although it's still pretty decent. (Does that sound hypocritical or what?) Apparently Dr. Dre's perfectionist gene was prevalent even in the late 1980's, as he tinkered with this and two of the "true" N.W.A. songs before their official release on Eazy-Duz-It and Straight Outta Compton, respectively.

2. 8 BALL
The first N.W.A. track, which would also see itself remixed before the next disc. Maybe it's just me, but the Beastie Boys influence seems even more obvious on the original version.

3. DUNK THE FUNK
Fila Fresh Crew, not The World's Most Dangerous Group. This sounds okay, but extremely dated, and would probably be the first song you would outright skip if you were to ever actually sit down with the album.

4. A BITCH IZ A BITCH
Not bad for what it is (ostensibly a song calling out bitches, but advising listeners on the differenences between women and bitches, so as not to piss off half of the world's population), although I feel J-Zone had a better feel for the material later on. On the original Macola vinyl pressing, this track was actually Rappinstine's "Scream", which I have never actually heard, so I can't have an opinion one way or the other, but the name of the group itself is pretty amusing to me. When Priority/Ruthless re-released the album in CD format in 1989, they put "A Bitch Iz A Bitch" in its place, in an effort to trick people into buying more records. ("A Bitch Iz A Bitch" was originally the B-side for "Express Yourself", a single that was released two years from the date this album dropped, which makes this song a gift from the future!)

5. DRINK IT UP
Even though this is Fila Fresh Crew and not N.W.A., this song is still a questionable inclusion. It both samples and imitates the pattern of the Top Notes's "Twist and Shout", although since it is heavily influenced by the Isley Brothers's version of the song, I suppose we should all appreciate Dre's vision. (Perhaps you can do that, but I'll pass.) The only thing that amuses me about this song is picturing Ferris Bueller rapping this song on the float instead of The Beatles's version of "Twist and Shout": now that brings a smile to my face.

6. PANIC ZONE
I actually love this song. This is the only appearance by Arabian Prince, the sometime member of N.W.A. that was essentially forced out after their focus shifted from ripping off Afrika Bambaataa to straight-up gangsta rap music, motherfuckers! Since I happen to like some electro-tinged hip hop, this song has earned a spot on my playlist, although the mere fact that this is a true song by N.W.A. (there was a single released and everything) and not by some no-name group like Rappinstine blows my mind.

7. L.A. IS THE PLACE
Eazy-E and beatboxer Ron-De-Vu present the first of their two collaborations, on which the music overshadows the sparse rapping (mixing problems in the studio, Andre?). While this song doesn't make me want to avoid Los Angeles, it doesn't act as an appealing travelogue, either.

8. DOPEMAN
The final N.W.A. song, of which every single fan of the group has heard its remix. While this is a pretty decent song, it's representative of the identity crisis the group was facing during its inception: make songs to dance to, or make songs intended to point out the real problems of their society? Eventually, they would make their choice, but if you plan on skipping around to only hear N.W.A.'s tracks, you'll be thrown for a loop if this is sequenced right after "Panic Zone". This song also features the first recorded vocal collaboration between Cube, Dre, and Eazy.

9. TUFFEST MAN ALIVE
This is actually the title track of Fila Fresh Crew's debut album, which was to see its release one year later. It's not bad, but there is no way this type of rap music would sell in a world dominated by ringtone rappers.

10. FAT GIRL
Eazy-E and Ron-De-Vu contribute this lame-ass song that is too juvenile to ever be taken seriously. Some of Eazy's storytelling on other songs is pretty good (it helps that he never wrote his own material), but this song can only be considered a practical joke on everyone that bought this album, or, if I'm feeling less harsh, a studio outtake that Eazy recorded as a goof but never intended for release, which is probably closer to the truth.

11. 3 THE HARD WAY
Not an N.W.A. song. This abomination can only be attributed to the Fila Fresh Crew, and it sounds as dull as an eighty-six year old butter knife.

FINAL THOUGHTS: N.W.A. and The Posse is for completists only, which is to say, for people that have made it their life's mission to track down every single song that Andre Young has ever recorded and produced. It's unfair to call it disjointed and unfocused, since it's just a compilation of singles, but any of the five hundred thousand people that bought this crap should be pissed off at the false advertising. It's also unfair to call it "crap", since the actual N.W.A. songs are pretty good, but I feel that you get my point. Luckily for us, N.W.A. soon ended their tour and quickly recorded their official debut, which was controversial for completely different reasons that have nothing to do with distribution; we'll get into that as my schedule permits.

BUY OR BURN? Burn this shit, but only if you absolutely positively have to. Anything that is marketed as an "album" (not an "EP") but only features four songs by the artists the disc is attributed to automatically doesn't deserve your money. Other than "Panic Zone", the other N.W.A. songs can be found (in the case of two of the three songs, in superior remixed versions) elsewhere pretty easily. As I wrote above, this disc is for completists only.

BEST TRACKS: "Panic Zone"

-Max

Goodie Mob - Soul Food (November 21, 1995)

First off, the "secret project" involving guest writers is, for the time being, still on, and if you are interested in possibly contributing, please hit me up at the e-mail address on the right, since it's hard for me to respond regarding a "secret project" to a comment. Depending on the level of interest, we'll see how that goes, if it goes. I'll let you know.

Anyway, Goodie Mob. Best known as "the group Cee-Lo was in before Danger Mouse plucked him from obscurity", they were founding members of the Atlanta, Georgia-based collective Dungeon Family, along with production team Organized Noize, the shortlisted-for-Best Rap Group Of All Time Outkast, and some group called Parental Advisory, which, for the life of me, I couldn't recall one of their songs if you put a gun to my head and clubbed a baby seal while wearing lederhosen and rapping "Baby Got Back" in only the harshest German accent while propping my eyelids open, A Clockwork Orange-style, and forcing me to watch a neverending marathon of Hannah Montana and High School Musical, parts one and two. The group consists of the aforementioned Cee-Lo and Big Gipp, who were prominently featured on Outkast's great and still-socially-relavant "Git Up, Git Out", from their debut Southernplayalisticadillacmusik. Between the recording of that song and the sessions for their own debut, Soul Food (released on the same label, LaFace, home of TLC), they added two more members, Khujo and T-Mo, in order to fully commit to that bowling league that Cee-Lo had signed up for just weeks prior.

Soul Food could be considered as a point/counterpoint to Outkast's debut (which I really don't want to type the name of anymore), as its themes of politics, racism, discrimination, and overt paranoia clash directly with Andre and Big Boi's pimptacular songs regarding hoes, partying, and having fun in general. Just like not all of Kast's tracks were "fun", not every single Goodie Mob song dealt with the harsh reality of life in Atlanta, so to everyone that just got scared off by the first sentence of this paragraph, welcome back.

The name "Goodie Mob" can be construed as a bizarre acronym for "The Good Die Mostly Over Bullshit", but I've always felt that was a bit of a stretch. Instead, I choose to believe that the group is a Mafia front for baked goods and candies, which are stolen from the rich and given to the poor, so that their children's teeth can rot right out of their mouths. What can I say, I'm a dick.

Soul Food, from what I recall, sold enough copies to earn a gold plaque from the RIAA, and made an underground star out of Cee-Lo, who would only make his profile more visible with subsequent projects, guest appearances, and, eventually, solo discs, production work on The Pussycat Dolls's breakthrough single "Don't Cha"("breakthrough" meaning "God this song sucks please don't sing it on American Idol anymore goddammit"), and, of course, Gnarls Barkley, whose album St. Elsewhere has moved more units than every single Goodie Mob album combined.

Damn shame, that.

1. FREE
Actually not annoying, for a rap album intro, anyway. But then again, Cee-Lo has one of the most distinctive voices in hip hop, and for the most part, I've always found him enjoyable to listen to (except for the majority of St. Elsewhere, a really fucking overrated album, except for that cover of "Gone Daddy Gone", but I like the Violent Femmes).

2. THOUGHT PROCESS (FEAT DRE A/K/A ANDRE 3000 & JOI)
Personally, I would have gone with an instrumental that featured harder drums as the introductory song on Soul Food, but I guess evoking memories of "Git Up, Git Out" works too. Cee-Lo, who people forget is a damn good rapper, impresses, but Andre swoops in and destroys the track to such a degree that the beat actually runs away, and an attempt at its replication is performed with handclaps that will remind you of 112's "Cupid".

3. RED DOG (FEAT BIG BOI)
This is really just a skit. This will happen a lot on Soul Food.

4. DIRTY SOUTH (FEAT BIG BOI & COOL BREEZE)
I loved this song ever since it was sent out to radio and BET as the third single. Big Boi proves that he's just as good as his partner-in-rhyme Dre in the "showstealing raps" category, but the real question is: What the hell happened to Cool Breeze?

5. CELL THERAPY
The first single, which I dismissed at first as bizarre and awkward, as the video slightly creeped me out. I eventually came around, though, since I remembered the name "Goodie Mob" preceeded by the word "featuring" on "Git Up, Git Out". I also remember wondering where the hell the other two guys came from. My brother and I loved the hook on this track, since it's both ridiculous and terrifying: "Who's that peepin' in my window? BLAOOW! Nobody now!"

6. SESAME STREET
Although the song features a thrilling guest rap by Cookie Monster (C-Mo, bitch!), the hook is weak, and the song ultimately suffers.

7. GUESS WHO
I don't normally like rap songs dedicated to mothers, since I find them sappy and contrived. (I have my reasons, which I won't get into here.) This song is the exception, especially Cee-Lo's verse, which is especially touching when you consider the fact that Soul Food is dedicated to the memory of his late mother.

8. SERENITY PRAYER
Skit.

9. FIGHTING (FEAT JOI)
The beats on Soul Food sound much more organic than on Outkast's first album Runonsentence, as if they were lifted wholesale from a Whole Foods Market by Organized Noize. The overall sound on this disc is probably the reason the second half of ATLiens exists.

10. BLOOD
You may call it a skit, but it's really more of a short song by Thomas "Cee-Lo" Callaway.

11. LIVE AT THE O.M.N.I.
Meh.
12. GOODIE BAG
I don't think this was ever a single, but the first time I heard this song was on the radio. (Oh, the good old days.) Great dark production, and Cee-Lo pulls a Kool G. Rap and rhymes for seemingly eighty-seven minutes during his closing verse.

13. SOUL FOOD (FEAT SLEEPY BROWN & 4.0)
When I was in high school, I frequented used CD stores with much more regularity than I do today, and the section I used to check the most often is the CD Single rack. This is because radio stations around my way would take their promotional discs to the stores, apparently for them to be purchased by me, since I snatched up hundreds of these fuckers. These promo discs usually featured radio edits, call out hooks (you know, for inclusion in your favorite station's commercials for "This week...new music from..."), and, most importantly, instrumentals. (You may have to scan your eyes back upward, toward the title of this post, to realize that I'm talking about a completely different era in hip hop, one where the music played on the radio was good.) Anyway, I didn't pick up Soul Food the day it dropped. (I know, blasphemy, but it happens.) It took me a good while, since I had to wait for "Dirty South" to drop as the third single before I was convinced, and then I waited even longer. But I did pick up the single for "Soul Food", which is probably due to my collector's gene more than anything else, since I never liked this song. I always found it boring, and my opinion of its accompanying video is similar. I'm sure it was released to prove that Goodie Mob wasn't just a quartet of paranoid government-suspecting rappers: they are real human beings that like to have fun and rhyme about comfort foods. But I never accepted that.

14. FUNERAL
Another skit.

15. I DIDN'T ASK TO COME
Although I found the delivery of the lyrics to be kinda weak (maybe they should have been pitched up a bit), the beat knocks.

16. RICO
Yet another skit, this one featuring Rico Wade, one of the production trio Origanized Noize, which also consisted of Sleepy Brown and some guy named Ray Murray who, nevertheless, helped produce some of the best songs generated from Atlanta, even though his name isn't memorable.

17. THE COMING (FEAT WITCHDOCTOR)
Remember how I wrote that I didn't pick up Soul Food until after its release date? I was serious. It was several years before I found the need to own this disc, so it'll make sense when I say that I found Witchdoctor's guest spot annoying as shit, but since my first impression of him was forged by his contribution to the Bulworth soundtrack, "Holiday/12 Scanner" (also from his debut, A S.W.A.T. Healing Ritual), I didn't mind him at all, since I loved that song.

18. CEE-LO
A skit featuring Khujo. Nah, I'm just fucking with ya.

19. THE DAY AFTER (FEAT RONI)
A good enough way as any to end your group's debut album, although I don't care for it.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Soul Food is a better companion piece to Outkast's Irefusetospellthisagain than it is a response. Both albums are enjoyable in their own way, but to be honest, with Outkast, both artists held their own on the mic, and their talents shone like the sun through a paper bag in your grandmother's house. (Not all of these are going to make sense, by the way.) Soul Food, however, left me waiting for more Cee-Lo and Big Gipp verses, mainly because I was already familiar with their vocal work. That is a completely unfair statement regarding Khujo and T-Mo, though; they do solid work on Soul Food, but it's obvious that there is a star in the making on this disc.

BUY OR BURN? I would be remiss if I didn't recommend a purchase. In fact, if enough people read this blog and purchase this disc, maybe it will eventually go platinum and convince Cee-Lo to hook back up with his now-ex-bandmates and release another Goodie Mob project. It can include production from Danger Mouse, I don't give a fuck, but we need to hear another album from this collective.

BEST TRACKS: "Goodie Bag"; "Dirty South"; "Cell Therapy"; "I Didn't Ask To Come"; "Guess Who"

-Max

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