Timbaland - Timbaland Presents: Shock Value (April 3, 2007)

Missy Elliott’s sixth album, The Cookbook, was her first to barely feature any contributions from her longtime creative partner, Timothy “Timbaland” Mosely. In yesterday’s post, I speculated that it could be due to the fact that her prior effort, This Is Not A Test!, was her lowest-selling album to date, and Missy decided that she needed to evolve her sound past Timbo. But there is one other, much more probably explanation: Timbaland was simply too busy working on his own second solo attempt, 2007’s busily-named Timbaland Presents Shock Value (which I will be referring to as just Shock Value from this point forward).

Although Timbaland had released three collaborative projects with his rap partner Magoo in the past, Shock Value is considered to be a solo album, and as such, it is a direct follow-up to his first shot at alone time, Tim’s Bio: Life from da Bassment. Just like that effort, however, “solo” is a relative term, as Shock Value is essentially Timmy’s second attempt at following the template of Dr. Dre’s The Chronic, producing and/or performing on every track while inviting as many guests as he can to appear on each song.

My assumption is that the title Shock Value stems from how Timbo wanted the audience to feel when they read the guest credits on the tracklisting, as some of the names included may surprise you. In addition to the usual suspects (Missy, Magoo, and then-little-known Timbaland protegees such as Keri Hilson), our host brought in A-list names such as 50 Cent, frequent collaborators Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake, fellow superproducer Dr. Dre (and by “super”, I mean they have a lot of folks “helping” them behind the boards while they take credit for composition, essentially), and rock acts Fall Out Boy, She Wants Revenge, The Hives, finishing things off with Elton fucking John.

Admittedly, this list would have been more of a shock if you hadn’t been following Timbaland’s career up to this point: the man has gone out of his way to work with as eclectic a mixture of artists as possible in order to draw inspiration from many different sources. In fact, the only shocking aspect of this guest list is who doesn’t appear: Jay-Z, who Timmy’s worked alongside multiple times, apparently submitted his verse too late for inclusion on Shock Value, so our host ended up using it on a remix to the project’s lead single.

Timbaland’s attempts to alter the sound of pop radio, having already conquered hip hop and R&B, proliferate throughout Shock Value, as the man seemingly uses up every idea he had in his head at the time to appeal to the widest possible audience. This tendency of his to be increasingly myopic when it comes to sacrificing song quality in favor of hitting ever-increasing numbers would only become more obvious on his follow-up, 2009’s Shock Value II, which almost ditches the hip hop entirely. But I’m sure he had his reasons, because for what it’s worth, Shock Value was a hit, selling more than two million copies in the United States alone and buying Timbaland some additional time in the music industry, time which I can only believe he’d like to have back, given the current status of his career.

And so.

1. OH TIMBALAND

Several years after Kanye West’s sampling of Nina Simone’s “Sinnerman” gave Talib Kweli the only recognizable song of his entire solo career (don’t @ me), Timothy decided that it was his turn with the source material, and what he’s conjured up can best be described as “blasphemous” and “motherfucking blasphemous”. Simone’s vocals aren’t as much altered as they are presented differently, the better to reflect the song’s title, which is just a shitty thing to do, akin to using footage of a dancing Gene Kelly in a commercial to sell vacuum cleaners, or using that 2Pac hologram to peddle Cialis. You may derive a sense of perverse enjoyment from hearing Timbo say the word “nowhere” in response to the question Nina Simone doesn’t really ask during the chorus, but you’d be in the minority, as this was a calculated risk that should have sunk our host’s career from the jump. “Oh Timbaland” is so terrible that it’s likely caused numerous listeners to shut Shock Value off prematurely, thereby freeing up their day, which they undoubtedly then filled with useful and productive activities, unlike what I’m about to attempt over the rest of this post. Timbo was pretty ballsy to try to pull this off, but the music isn’t good, and his verses are even weaker somehow, so in no fucking way did he score on here. My God, was this bad.

2. GIVE IT TO ME (FEAT. NELLY FURTADO & JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE)

I remember liking this ridiculous song (the lead single of the project) back in 2007, and truth be told, Timmy’s instrumental still works for me, even if the lyrics from each and every participant make this one of the weirdest tracks to ever reach the top of the Billboard Hot 100. (This also happens to be the only Timbaland solo song to ever make it that high on the charts.) The instrumental is clubby house music shit, which is fine, but Timbo, along with his frequent collaborators Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake, decided that “Give It To Me” was the perfect opportunity to attack their opponents on wax, even though the hook has fuck-all to do with any of that. First out the gate is Furtado, who is most assuredly not a rapper, and yet still instigates a beef with Fergie (allegedly), who was still a part of the Black Eyed Peas at the time (allegedly), and her contribution is awful, because, again, she is most assuredly not a rapper. She and Timmy have created some heat in the past, though, so I understand her inclusion on Shock Value. Speaking of Timmy, he goes after fellow producer and former collaborator Scott Storch, with whom he crafted the beat for Timberlake’s “Cry me A River” but apparently didn’t share enough of the credit. Timbo’s bars and threats most certainly came from someone else’s pen, probably that of his artist Attitude, who  is listed as a writer here. (No names are dropped, but this beef was confirmed shortly after the release of this song, since Storch felt the best move was to release a response record of his own. Hip hop is weird sometimes.) Justin takes to mic toward the end to outright disrespect the late Prince, who was not dead when “Give It To Me” was released and could have responded, but couldn’t be bothered, because he’s motherfucking Prince. This is why I, along with many others, had an issue with Timberlake paying “homage” to Prince during the last Superbowl halftime show. Fuck that guy. He has some good songs in his catalog, but he’s shady as shit, for real. Somehow, Timbaland comes off as the only dude on here worth hearing, so hey, that’s something. And that Jay-Z verse I mentioned earlier? Pops up on a remix to "Give It To Me" classified as the "Laff At Em" version, which also includes Timberlake for some reason.

3. RELEASE (FEAT. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE)

Timbo exercises the clause in Timberlake’s contract that forces him to remain in the studio whenever our host so commands, so we’re left with “Release”, an awful return to the club where the vocals are so low in the mix that I had to listen to this horseshit twice just to confirm that it wasn’t an instrumental that I had somehow misremembered. (You’re welcome, by the way.) I believe this track is supposed to be about meeting women in the club and hoping to ejaculate at some point during the evening, but I honestly can’t be bothered looking up the lyrics, as this is really fucking bad, you two. Inevitably, this post will result in someone wondering why I would even bother writing about albums such as Shock Value, and my response will remain the same eyeroll it’s always been, but just know that, deep down, I’m asking myself the same question at this very moment. Is a writing project worth one’s sanity? I assume you’re still reading just to find out, so.

4. THE WAY I ARE (FEAT. KERI HILSON & D.O.E.)

By and large the only song worth a damn on Shock Value, and certainly the only track I still listen to on a semi-regular basis today. “The Way I Are”, horrific grammar in the song title aside, succeeds where “Release” flails about aimlessly: this actually sounds good in a club setting. But although it’s Timbaland’s song, and his vocals dominate, this is Keri Hilson’s breakout performance, from her catchy bridge and hook to the goofy way she harmonizes in the background to make it sound like Timbo ripped off a section from Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It”. (No, I’m, not kidding.) “The Way I Are” is the most full-sounding track on Shock Value thus far, and yet Timmy still added his brother Sebastian onto the video version of the song, his bars sharing space alongside the other guest star, rapper D.O.E., who boasts about being so poor that he can only afford to rent a single room on a house, as opposed to our host, who merely doesn’t have the means to make lavish purchases but still stops way short of saying he’s poor, as though he wasn’t the person who came up with the track’s theme or something. Still works today, too. But with the highlight of the evening out of the way, I’m now dreading the rest of this write-up.

5. BOUNCE (FEAT. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, DR. DRE, & MISSY ELLIOTT)

A laughably bad attempt at a sex rap, punctuated with a darker instrumental that is utterly wasted on here, along with a downright hilarious (not on purpose) line reading from Timberlake during the hook, when he reveals that there’s a third person in the bedroom with him and his partner. Exactly why Dr. Dre is on “Bounce” is a mystery, as is whoever thought it was okay to scribble a racist comment aimed toward Asian women into his verse. Timbo’s longtime partner in crime Missy Elliott makes many disturbing choices on here, her own bars about how much she enjoys sex not being one of them, as she does that a lot anyway: no, Melissa opts to reference Britney Spears on a track featuring her prominent ex-boyfriend Timberlake (who has been a real dick toward her during interviews in the past and has never apologized), and doubles down on Dre’s racist remark for why? The quite-good instrumental demanded better performances that this horseshit. Ugh.

6. COME AND GET ME (FEAT. 50 CENT & TONY YAYO)

A quite silly stab at gritty gangsta rap, equipped with a Timbaland instrumental that is similar in theory, if not in structure, to his work on Snoop Dogg’s far-superior “Set It Off”, with the harmonies worked into the beat itself. Timmy sounds exactly like 50 Cent during his opening verse, so even though Attitude is given a writing credit, I’m fairly certain Curtis did a page one rewrite. And since we’re talking about Fiddy anyway, he is the only guy on “Come and Get Me” that sounds remotely comfortable, whereas Tony Yayo, who was invited to the party but forgot to bring ice, stumbles a bit over what is likely one of the most expensive beats he’ll ever fuck up. Timmy, for his part, doesn’t completely embarrass himself, but his threats aren’t believable in the slightest, so if you’re ever feeling down and need a good laugh, I know a guy who could help.

7. KILL YOURSELF (FEAT. ATTITUDE & SEBASTIAN)

Timbaland still has his big boy gangsta pants on, hence “Kill Yourself”, on which our host tries to sound aggressive and mean but ends up coming across as an Interweb troll. The instrumental is simple and not gangsta by any means, which isn’t a criticism, but the contrast doesn’t quite work, and the only guy who sounds alright is Attitude, who has been writing all of Timmy’s lines throughout Shock Value anyway, so he may as well pop up in an official capacity, right? Timbo’s brother Sebastian kicks off his middle verse with the tragic couplet, “I’m tired of n----s / N----s is tired,” which is a definite sign of the quality level here. Who was this track even recorded for?

8. BOARDMEETING (FEAT, MAGOO)

A song about fucking your coworkers in empty boardrooms doesn’t quite gel with the #TimesUp era, nor did it really work even back in 2007. Hell, the only reason to give any of your attention to “Boardmeeting” in the first place isn’t to criticize its title (why is it all smushed together into one word? There are no answers here, and it’s driving me nuts): no, it’s because it features the lone connection our host has with his former rhyme partner Magoo, who pops up for a quickie cameo that was likely recorded years before Shock Value was formed into a cohesive project. What has he been up to these days, anyway? Regardless, this song succcccckkkkkkssssss.

9. FANTASY (FEAT. MONEY)

In what is likely the smartest move of the evening, Timothy, who must have been so embarrassed by the sexist hijinks of “Boardmeeting”, completely abandons Shock Value before “Fantasy” even begins. That is correct, sir: Timbaland has absolutely no involvement with this song. “Fantasy” appears to be a remnant of a time when the original conception of Shock Value was built around it being a label sampler, it being among the first projects released by our host’s Mosely Music Group, after all, before Timbo panicked and switched it up to conform with his ego-driven madness. The musical backing, provided by Walter Millsap III, seems to chase the Lady Gaga / Ke$ha fanbase that wouldn’t have existed yet in 2007, while Money’s vocals are sufficient and generic, although to be fair, “Fantasy” is so overproduced that she never really has a chance to prove herself properly. Move it along, children: nothing to see here.

10. SCREAM (FEAT. KERI HILSON & NICOLE SCHERZINGER)

Timothy returns to the studio, albeit briefly, as he merely bookends “Scream”, letting Keri Hilson and Nicole Scherzinger, handle the bulk of the workload. I’m not exactly sure why Timbo felt it necessary to have both singers on here when one could have pulled it off themselves, but whatever, it’s not my song. Hilson and the former Pussycat Doll (who keeps plugging away at a solo career that just isn’t happening) both sound okay, if a bit interchangeable, and the our host's instrumental keeps the entire affair radio-friendly. It isn’t great, but it’s decent: it’s destined to spend its days playing in the background of a not-quite-trendy clothing store. Timbo pops back up during the outro to ad-lib to high heaven, even managing to throw in a hilariously meta comment about how the song has been going on for too long (“Scream” lasts for almost six fucking minutes for some reason), before twisting even that line into a dirty come-on, before course-correcting that into a more family-friendly statement of sorts, as though he were telling jokes at a work function and just realized his boss was standing right behind him. All of Timbo’s vocals on here were unnecessary, really: he should have allowed Nicole and Keri free reign on this shit. (“Scream” should not be confused with the album Scream, the Timbaland-produced effort by the late Chris Cornell, and yes, this sentence is describing something real that actually exists.)

11. MISCOMMUNICATION (FEAT. KERI HILSON & SEBASTIAN)

*brings out soapbox and megaphone* This one is very bad, folks, but not musically: in that regard, it’s fine. Rather, “Miscommunication”, a title that very much misrepresents the presented subject matter, is an ugly, bleak tale of toxic masculinity, as Timbo (and, later, Sebastian) takes umbrage with a woman, played here by Keri Hilson, who refuses to return his calls, as he believes himself to be entitled to her time. No lie, I was genuinely afraid for Hilson’s character as the track played through, and not just because Sebastian threatens to send her “where you hard to be reached”, describing the act of burying her body on a beach before trying to play it off as a “joke”. Hilson gives her side of the tale, but she gives so many excuses that it becomes obvious that the song was written by a man who once felt wronged and chose to throw every possible bad trait at the female lead: she’s out with her friends; she isn’t in a relationship with you so why should she feel like she has to return your call right away; she only gave you her number because she felt bad for you, etc. Keri’s piece is directed by Timbo in such a fashion that she can only come across as the villain, which is goddamn inexcusable, atrocious behavior. What the fuck was Timbaland thinking? Shit like this makes men believe it’s okay to treat women as objects intended merely to fulfill their own sexual gratification, as opposed to thinking, feeling human beings who are not required to give a fuck about you at any point. This may be the very worst song I’ve heard throughout the entire run of this motherfucking blog, and if it’s not, it’s pretty close.

12. BOMBAY (FEAT. AMAR & JIM BEATZ)

Timbo retreats from the last track’s outright horrific misogyny for “Bombay”, which plays into the Middle Eastern – South Asian sound artists gravitated toward several years before Shock Value was ever conceived. Perhaps our host was feeling nostalgic for a simpler time, back when his sound was considered to be so influential that it altered hip hop and R&B by several degrees. Shrug. Regardless, “Bombay” may as well have been, and probably would have been more interesting as, an instrumental, as the vocals from Amar, Jim Beamz, and Timbo himself don’t amount to much. If one listens to music hoping to chase certain specific feelings, I’d hate to know what ransom combination of events had to happen in your life in order for you to want to seek this out.

13. THROW IT ON ME (FEAT. THE HIVES)

We’re almost at the end of Shock Value, which means Timbaland is going to try to “shock” us by collaborating with artists he likely thought would cause the listeners to scratch their collective heads in disbelief. No, not so much, Timbo. His opening gambit into hoping audiences will check their phones or stereos to make sure the station wasn’t somehow changed accidentally while they were listening to an album is a collaboration with Swedish rock band The Hives, who, sadly, are given almost nothing to do outside of the chorus, which is fairly rote and which could have been performed by literally anybody, including Timbaland wearing a hairpiece and a fake mustache. This probably sounded better on paper (and on the sticker affixed to the plastic wrapped around the disc packaging) than it did in the studio, huh, Timothy?

14. TIME (FEAT. SHE WANTS REVENGE)

Now, I actually like She Wants Revenge, the post punk-by-way-of-Hot Topic project from Adam Brown and former Prince Paul collaborator Justin Warfield (that part isn’t a joke, by the way, that’s also a real thing), although I admittedly haven’t listened to their work all that much in the past few years, so in a way I looked forward to hearing “Time” back in the day. In another, more accurate way, I was thinking that this was going to suck, and hate-listening is totally a thing, right? Well, suck it does: Timbaland awkwardly raps over an instrumental of his own creation that sounds like Orgy’s remake of New Order’s “Blue Monday”, but altered just enough to avoid any legal action, while the band (well, mostly Warfield) sings on the chorus. I’m, okay with rap songs where the artist is asking his significant other if the relationship is going anywhere, but not when the talents of every party involved are wasted like this. You two can skip this track, and as for She Wants Revenge, perhaps that’s a wormhole I’ll explore via the power of the written word at a later time if anyone’s interested, especially since the Prince Paul connection actually makes it quasi-relevant to the site. Oh, and to those of you two who now have Orgy’s “Blue Monday” playing in your head: you’re welcome, and I’m so sorry.

15. ONE AND ONLY (FEAT. FALL OUT BOY)

Fall Out Boy, the emo band named after a reference to The Simpsons regardless of what they say now, have released exactly one song that I like, and it was a single, so admittedly I haven’t done any digging into their catalog, but I don’t really feel the need to, either. As they were industry darlings at the time of Shock Value’s release, “One and Only” sounds very much like Fall Out Boy featuring Timbaland, as vocalist Patrick Stump dominated the track: whoever gave Timbo the idea to try to sing on here (and on every song on Shock Value that features our host harmonizing) deserves to be kicked out of the crew into oncoming traffic, as he doesn’t have any vocal range at all, and just sounds… silly. You may like “One and Only” if you’re a fan of Fall Out Boy and the f-word, which comes up pretty fucking frequently: everyone else can just go back home.

16. APOLOGIZE (FEAT. ONEREPUBLIC)

The biggest hit from Shock Value isn’t a Timbaland song, but rather a OneRepublic track that our host remixed and lent his name to in order for it to gain traction at radio, and because of all that behind-the-scenes trickery, singer-songwriter Ryan Tedder has a solid career in the music industry today. I have no doubt that he wakes up every morning and prays to a framed portrait of Tim Mosely for guidance and grace. Anyway. You know “Apologize” already, and if you don’t, you were clearly born after the year 2007, in which case your parents should know that my blog features adult themes and language. I believe I’ve only listened to the original version of “Apologize” once, that’s just how prevalent Timbo’s mix was at the time (and today), and I didn’t feel like revisiting it now for comparison purposes, so I’ll just say this song successfully takes your mind back to the late part of the last decade, which is to say, it’s fine? Also, when she was much younger, a friend’s daughter used to sing the hook as, “It’s too late to order fries.” Try it. Totally fits. You’re welcome, and sorry not sorry.

17. 2 MAN SHOW (FEAT. ELTON JOHN)

Not so much a “song” as an album outro, except it runs for the length of a song, so you’re forgiven if you’re wondering why guest piano player Elton John (I know, right?) doesn’t speak or say a single word on “2 Man Show”, a track that still, inexplicably, features a chorus and a bridge, if no actual verses. Still, the music isn’t bad: it’s perfectly pleasant and works well playing in the background while you’re doing chores around the house. As appropriate a way to end the project as any, I suppose.

International editions of Shock Value include the following bonus track.

18. HELLO (FEAT. KERI HILSON & ATTITUDE)

Overseas Timbaland fans received “Hello”, another showcase for Keri Hilson that sounds smooth enough for me to believe it could have been a sleeper hit had it gotten a stateside push. The hook is catchy, even if the way it flows is a bit of a reach (Hilson’s harmonizing of the word “several” leads directly into Timbo’s next line, which makes all of it seem like it was written by a third-grader with no grasp on the English language), and Timbaland’s instrumental is smooth and all around decent. One shouldn’t feel obligated to hunt this one down, but if you’re a Hilson fan, you’ll probably like “Hello” and you may find the two-second Google search totally worth it.

If you happen to pick up Shock Value in Japan or the United Kingdom, Timbaland was gracious enough to include a second additional song for your troubles.

19. COME AROUND (FEAT. M.I.A.)

Interestingly enough, Timbo cates to his overseas fan base by including “Come Around”, a M.I.A. song he produced for her second album Kala, on Shock Value. It isn’t Maya’s finest hour, however: the song is pretty fucking annoying and lacks the flair, energy, and overall sense of immediacy that her best work features, ad Timbaland can’t help but fall back into his old habits both behind the boards and the microphone. “Come Around” need not exist. Yeah, I said it.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Shock Value marks the turning point in Timbaland’s career, the part where he largely believes that he is the main draw to every song he has a production hand in and not whoever the song is actually credited to. It’s his album, so it’s fine that he’s the main attraction, but his presence behind the microphone isn’t strong enough to carry a full-length project on his own, and the guests he invites to the party upstage him at every single turn while breaking his parents’ priceless heirlooms and cleaning out the fridge. Back in 2007 there was a valid business reason for a Timbo production compilation to exist, but Shock Value isn’t it, and sadly it’s far too late for our host to go back to this well now. The vast majority of Shock Value aims for pop radio and throwback-themed club nights, so lyrically this project is inoffensive and kind of stupid (except for “Miscommunication”, which is legitimately one of the worst songs I’ve ever listened to and every woman on the planet should demand a public apology from our host), while the more street- and rock-oriented attempts are laughable at best. Shock Value isn’t a good album, but it’s too bland to classify as “bad”: if an entire project could qualify for one of my one-word “meh” reviews, this would be it, folks. Aside from that one song, it’s rather difficult for me to stir up any feelings for any of these songs after having just listened to the project: hell, I can barely remember what most of this sounds like. Maybe you two are on to something when it comes to asking why I even bother with stuff like this.

BUY OR BURN? Can you do neither? Have we been forced into this binary?

BEST TRACKS: “The Way I Are”; possibly “Hello”

-Max

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