My Gut Reaction: Eminem - Music To Be Murdered By (January 17, 2020)

In the year of our Lord 2020, approximately two months before a worldwide pandemic became our new normal, Marshall “Eminem” Mathers unleashed a surprise upon his constituents: his eleventh album, Music To be Murdered By. Preceded by zero singles and zero buzz (because, again, “surprise”), this project was met with fair-to-middling reviews, but blockbuster sales (at least by today’s standards – gone are the days that a rap artist could move over one million units of anything within the span of a week) and overzealous streams from self-proclaimed “stans” (I don’t know why I’m putting that in quotes, that’s the actual term now, and Marshall should know, he invented it) earned it a place within the pop cultural zeitgeist, worthy of inclusion in the conversation.

So let’s have that talk today, shall we?

Eminem’s previous effort, 2018’s Kamikaze, was another surprise release, one recorded in a frenzy by a man who was visibly bothered by the criticisms the album prior, Revival, received a year before. Many of the lyrics on Kamikaze were focused on that subject alone: Marshall may as well have rapped the words, “Actually, I’m laughing,” and saved himself eight months in the studio. For the most part, music critics came down hard on Kamikaze: some appreciated Marshall’s attempts at restoring order within both his career and our chosen genre, but the complaints were still the same, with his musical selection, creative choices, and his general inability to accept criticism harming the project. Oh sure, his fans still streamed and bought Kamikaze, but that’s what they’d been trained to do, quality be damned. But for those of us who care about how something sounds and believe that music is supposed to be entertaining, Kamikaze was… well, not a disappointment, really, as I had zero expectations there, but still just a couple of degrees above “a waste of my valuable time”.

Music To Be Murdered By features many of his same complaints, picking up the thread from Kamikaze as Em took on a defensive position, attacking critics and even other rappers who dared not deify him as he believed he deserved. But there was also a hint of a shift in Em’s perception of his place within our chosen genre to be found: Music To Be Murdered By features guest cameos from rappers who very well could cause quite a bit of damage in a rap battle. True, his old buddy Royce da 5’9” appeared on Kamikaze, but Music To Be Murdered By contains feature credits for the likes of KXNG Crooked, Joell Ortiz, Black Thought, and Ryan himself, a move that could potentially leave our host exposed, since he typically never shares the stage on his own projects with other rappers, just pop singers such as P!nk, Rihanna, Sia, Skylar Gray, and Ed Sheeran (okay, the latter two also appear on this album, he hasn’t shed all of his skin, folks).

The title Music To Be Murdered By was borrowed from an Alfred Hitchcock project of the same name, and his influence is felt over this album’s twenty tracks, and not just because two of the interludes were lifted directly from the man himself. Hitchcock was known for his thrillers, films and television episodes where a sense of dread looms over the main characters while the audience is helpless to do anything but watch. While this project isn’t exactly Slim Shady 2.0, Eminem does manage to revive some of the more, er, controversial elements of his past work, at least in regard to some of his storytelling choices and word usage.

Production-wise, well, this is an Eminem album, so beats from relative unknowns, Dr. Dre, and himself are par for the course these days, but Music To Be Murdered By does feature a couple of unexpected names behind the boards: his friend Royce, and also The Alchemist, for the first time on a proper Eminem album. With those heavy-hitters behind the music, along with actual name-brand guests in the booth, it’s possible that Music To Be Murdered By could be a comeback of sorts for Marshall Mathers.

Or not, I don’t know. I have to listen to it first.

1. PREMONITION (INTRO)
This is a rap album intro featuring actual rapping, so it’s nothing like those goofy public service announcements our host used to run with early on in his major label career, and yet Marshall can’t help but be a little extra, kicking off Music To Be Murdered By with the sounds of a woman being murdered (because edgy) and a lame-duck sung vocals from Nikki Grier, whose contribution fits in about as well as your mother at a virgin convention. (It’s not for the reason you think, either – it’s because she refuses to wear a mask.) Em’s one-verse wonder is set to the dulcet tones of a shared Dr. Dre / Mark Batson / self-production, which reads impressively but none of Andre’s bombast is on display: this is typical work-for-hire shit, which makes zero sense since he owns Marshall’s label and all, but hey, you explain why it sounds so goddamn inefficient. For his part, Eminem is still enamored with the sound of his own voice – you can hear the smirk and the patting himself on the back for how clever he thinks his wordplay is all throughout the track. And that’s the thing: it is clever. Marshall’s mastery of the art form allows him to play with the structure of verses, bars, shit, even individual words, bending everything and anything to his will in the name of hip hop. There simply isn’t another rapper out there that fucks around with the form in this complete a fashion. But the subject matter he chooses to waste these skills on baffles me: why is he still complaining about how his last few albums weren’t well-received critically? “Premonition (Intro)” provides proof that Music To Be Murdered By is simply a follow-up to Kamikaze in that Em is still whining about the exact same shit, and what’s worse, he’s equating skill with record sales, which is, as we all know, the go-to argument for social media troll stans (“I sell like four mil when I put out a bad album”). He may even still be mad at me, or at least I’m delusional enough to believe he’s read my reviews of his work, as he directly mentions my calls for him “to get me some Dre beats”, which doesn’t seem to have made any difference, given how “Premonition (Intro)” sounds. The fucking dad jokes in his bars are also more cringeworthy than usual: why in the world would he follow up the actual good line, “Only way you’re ahead of me is alphabetically,” with, “… if you dis me I’m coming after you like the letter ‘v’”? It’s safe to say I don’t have high hopes for Music To Be Murdered By, but let’s trudge along.

2. UNACCOMMODATING (FEAT. YOUNG M.A.)
Not entirely sure what audience this song is even for – guess that’s why it’s called “Unaccommodating”, am I right? See, I can do dad jokes too. Seriously, though, I highly doubt even Marshall likes this shit: his speed-rappity rap rap flow is delivered with such an intense lack of regard for his own listeners that anyone that plays this garbage unironically should sue him for assault. Brooklyn rapper Young M.A., only here because Marshall likes making sure the kids know that he’s still in touch with the music of today, no really!, opens the track with a tremendously shitty performance that fails to fit around our host’s crappy instrumental – she’s done much better work elsewhere. Stunt casting aside, “Unaccommodating” is The Eminem Show, as he squeezes, at minimum, one gazillion words into his two verses (and chorus), comparing himself to a terrorist as though that’s suddenly in vogue (most disgustingly when he pretends to be the bomber that attacked that Ariana Grande concert in Manchester back in 2017, which is decidedly not okay), throwing around the word “retard” as though it were still the early days of his career when nobody outside of Detroit even knew who he was, teasing Machine Gun Kelly because beating dead horses is kind of his whole schtick, and generally proclaiming his dominance of the genre, although certainly not by giving is anything remotely entertaining while doing so. “Unaccommodating” is fucking garbage, and any other rapper that released this shit would be laughed out of the industry immediately, no matter what names you dropped of the artists you claim to respect (for the record, Marshall goes with Kendrick and Snoop, illustrating their kinship due to Dr. Dre’s mentorship, along with The Notorious B.I.G., Grand Puba, Ice Cube, and the Poor Righteous Teachers, at least two of which causing his primary fanbase to scratch their heads in confusion, as they would have no idea who they even are or if they’re even real). I already hate this album.

3. YOU GON’ LEARN (FEAT. ROYCE DA 5’9” & WHITE GOLD)
Royce da 5’9” was set to release his eighth solo album, The Allegory, the first to boast wall-to-wall production from the artist himself, and fans were curious as to just how his beats could even sound, considering his partnerships with both Eminem (in the group Bad Meets Evil) and DJ Premier (in PRhyme). Those fans, perhaps unaware that Ryan had already produced some of his own songs in the past, were blessed with a sneak peek at their hero’s prowess behind the boards on the surprise drop of Music To Be Murdered By, which hit virtual shelves a month prior to The Allegory, and I have to say… it’s fine. Ryan’s beat is fine. It does the job, and at least the drums sound like they could fight back if necessary. Thankfully, Royce also contributes a verse to “You Gon’ Learn”, easily classing up the joint with confident bars describing how he’s managed to overcome adversity in his career with the aid of his family, while also coining the term “alcoholistic infamy”, which is kind of deep. For his part, Marshall eschews his angry white male scream in favor of a calm, calculating voice (you know, the one where it sounds like you can hear the man counting through the syllables in each bar as though he were at the blackjack tables in Vegas), and it’s a much more appealing look for him, although a large part of why I can tolerate “You Gon’ Learn: comes from having his boy Royce appear on the track, of course. Em’s lengthy verse follows the same theme as Ryan’s, save for the “family” aspect, since he quickly shifts from a description of a poor upbringing, one where he had to fight for everything he had, to talking mad shit about the rappers in the game (“all of whom I’m a father to” – bonus points for using the word “whom”). Overall, this was fine, but you wouldn’t miss it if you never listened to it in the first place. Singer White Gold provides the hook, which is a bit off topic so it’s clear Royce just liked the performance when he put the beat together, but it isn’t bad. It’s fine, just like everything else about this song. But you should be demanding more than just “fine” from your music consumption.

4. ALFRED (INTERLUDE)
This interlude was lifted directly, warts and all, from Alfred Hitchcock’s Music To Be Murdered By (which I guess makes sense, given how Marshall took the title for himself, too), and yet Dr. Dre somehow scores a production credit. For having done nothing. I see you, Andre.

5. THOSE KINDA NIGHTS (FEAT. ED SHEERAN)
Holy shit, is that Bizarre at the very beginning of “Those Kinda Nights”? I did not miss him. Anywho, “Those Kinda Nights” eschews Marshall’s tendency to overthink any criticism that has come his way at any point in his career in favor of his other obsession: recording club-ready tracks where he hits on chicks left and right. Hey, human beings are complex creatures with oftentimes conflicting emotions and thoughts, a fact I’ve brought up multiple times as of late for some reason, and Eminem is nothing if not human. Given the description I just gave you, however, it’s fair if you believe this shit is going to suck ass without ever having listened to a single note, and as a critic who has just finished it, I’m in agreement with you. This is bad, but Em’s not shooting for “rap god” in any way over this uncanny valley of a D.A. Doman instrumental, of which our host claims, “This beat’s taking me back to my D12 days,” which explains away the Bizarre cameo, at least. “Those Kinda Nights” focuses squarely on Em’s attempts to find some strange at the club, following him until he manages to succeed, because the Marshall Mathers of 2020 wouldn’t fucking dare let anyone believe that he could fail at anything, and while his playful rhymes are a break from the relentless chastising and delusions of grandeur Music To Be Murdered By has presented thus far, it isn’t a nice one. Pop star Ed Sheerhan also, er, pops up during the hook, a thankless job that could have been handed off to literally anyone (I mean, Bizarre may have still been in the studio at that point), and I couldn’t help but think that Sheerhan’s exactly the type of artist Eminem would have dissed relentlessly back in his early Aftermath days. Not that any of his attacks would have been any good or made any sort of sense, of course. Anyway, skip this song, please. I’m begging you.

6. IN TOO DEEP
From a songwriting perspective, I’ll give Marshall due credit: “In Too Deep”, which finds our host deeply in love with his side piece, and her in a similar position, but unsure how to proceed with their clandestine relationship, sticks to the topic for the duration, and Marshall’s pen, along with his attention to the tiniest of details, is pretty fucking solid. The bar, “Can’t tell of I’m cheating on her with you or cheating on you with her” is a bit on the nose, but given the limitations of the written word when it comes to describing feelings, you’ll know exactly what his character is going through here even if you’re not in a relationship at the moment. Musically, however, “In Too Deep” sucks: there are too many goofy choices made here, from the instrumental (credited to Suby) that toys with the concept of what “music” should sound like, and not in an interesting way, to our host’s stilted flow and his sung hook, which seems to be more overly produced than usual. (And I’m not even mentioning his bar, “Call us Long John Silver’s ‘cause we selfish (shellfish).” Nope. Not taking the bait. I won’t be speaking on that at all.) I applaud the man for remaining versatile with the ideas within the blurry boundaries of our chosen genre, but the execution here was sorely lacking. 

7. GODZILLA (FEAT. JUICE WRLD)
One of the traits I find to be most relatable in Marshall Mathers is his ability to take the wrong lessons away from things. Case in point, “Godzilla”, the apparent second single released from Music To Be Murdered By that isn’t as much a “rap song” as it is yet another entry into our host’s ongoing loosely-threaded “Rap God” series of tracks that finds him trying to top his own multi-syllabic flows in an effort to impress mostly himself, but also people who hate hip hop but love Eminem, who, ironically, is one of the biggest rap nerds in existence. It takes more than just wordplay to make a song, though: there also has to be some semblance of entertainment value, which is forgotten about entirely during the third verse, where Em goes off the rails in a lyrical fury that is quite technically impressive to read along with, but without the visual aid his voice sounds just like a wall of impenetrable goddamned noise, since his speed-rap abilities still can’t run alongside those of the master, Chicago’s Twista. Which, by the way, how have these two not collaborated yet? The concept behind “Godzilla” is built on a falsehood: “I can swallow a bottle of alcohol and I’ll feel like Godzilla”, our host claims during his opening bar, believing himself to be a literal lyrical monster who “laugh[s] all the way to the bank”, but Eminem doesn’t drink (he’s been sober for over eleven years now), and back when he was abusing multiple substances he wasn’t rapping this quickly. (He also refers to himself here as “the vanilla gorilla”, which could make for a goofy Saturday morning cartoon in the 1970’s, or possibly a breakfast cereal mascot.) Alas, “Godzilla” exists for an audience of one, and anyone that tells you that this is the pinnacle of lyricism in our chosen genre can step to the side and let the adults pass through – Eminem is good at what he does, but he could be great if he, I don’t know, made good music to back it up? The Doman beat is a lame duck, present only to provide the absolute bare minimum of structure and nothing more, and the late Juice WRLD’s chorus seems to be for an entirely different song, which isn’t surprising in the least. Am I missing something here? I found nothing appealing about “Godzilla” – are people just more easily impressed these days? Again, you should demand more from the music you consume and the artists you claim to like.

8. DARKNESS
The other Royce da 5’9” production of the album doesn’t feature his voice, but there wouldn’t have been any room for him at the inn anyway, as “Darkness”, recipient of the first video released from Music To Be Murdered By, is a Marshall Mathers storytelling showcase, a bait-and-switch intended to shock the shit out of the listener, as the entirety of the first verse and most of the second could seemingly apply to B. Rabbit-type stage fright right before our host reveals he’s actually playing the role of the Las Vegas shooter right before his violent rampage in 2017, and it’s to our host’s credit that his bars could easily go either way right up until they cannot. “Darkness” is Eminem’s call for gun control, which may be a bit misguided given that his choice of tactic here is “pretending to be a mass murderer”, but the montage of somber news reports toward the end of the audio track emphasizes his intent, and the fact that this remains a pressing issue to this day is a scathing betrayal of what makes America great. I was already depressed listening to the news clips out of Vegas, but hearing the music fade out just for it to ramp back up again with reports on similar attacks in other regions of the country was a dramatic gamble that works, in my opinion. Marshall’s attention to lyrical detail is commendable even if his creative decisions here are highly suspect: aside from the whole “portraying the murderer’s mindset” thing, the choice to treat a Simon and Garfunkel vocal sample as the running thread through the fabric of “Darkside” was a bit corny, as was Ryan’s decision to sample “The Sound of Silence” in the first goddamn place, but I can’t truly be upset with an artist that swings for the fences for a cause he or she believes in. I also never need to listen to “Darkness” ever again, though, so it works both ways.

9. LEAVING HEAVEN (FEAT. SKYLAR GREY)
More notable for the story behind its production than anything musically, “Leaving Heaven” is the very first song on an Eminem album fully produces by a woman (gasp!), in this case frequent collaborator Skylar Grey (who also contributes the hook), and I have to say, this sounds nothing like those Alex da Kidd beats she’s been associated with in the past. Instead, her musical backing actually plays like something Eminem would want to use, so kudos on her teamwork skills. It isn’t very good, but kudos nonetheless. “Leaving Heaven” is another track where our host reflects on his past life as a broke kid growing up in Detroit, detailing his struggles before outright verbally assaulting his late father midway through the third verse, which, well, at least he isn’t just talking shit about his mother again? (He still gets a potshot in, of course, because Eminem.) “I should dig your motherfucking ass up / Just to spit in your fucking face,” is certainly a sentiment therapists could send their great-great-grandchildren to college off of, and to our host’s credit, he makes you believe that he could pull that trick off. But that’s mostly because he’s an angry white man whose troubled relationships with nearly everyone in his circle (save for his daughters) have been well-documented by now. So there isn’t anything new to mine here. Em’s just exorcising his demons once again, same shit, new stall. Grey’s hook sounds detached from Em’s message entirely, because of course it does, that’s how rap songs work these days, and that disconnect is more than a bit frustrating, but thankfully the beat is such that you may not ever get to the hook in the first fucking place.

10. YAH YAH (FEAT. ROYCE DA 5’9”, BLACK THOUGHT, Q-TIP, & DENAUN)
For the massive posse cut that this is, “Yah Yah” should have been much better, but it still hits harder than everything else on Music To Be Murdered By thus far. Tasked with writing a song that pays homage to hop hop legends while simultaneously positioning themselves as legends-in-waiting, Royce, Marshall, and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon’s Black Thought (oh, also from The Roots) each spit their respective bats, Royce curiously providing the shortest verse of all, although he’s also on the hook awkwardly sing-chanting, so. Also on the chorus: Q-Tip, utterly wasted (and filtered through Auto-Tune for some reason), along with Mr. Porter, who does a pretty decent late-stage Neptunes impression with his instrumental here (think Busta Rhymes’s “Call the Ambulance”). Speaking of Busta, his “Woo-Hah! Got You All In Check” is interpolated throughout “Yah Yah” in a weird fashion, tacked onto the end of an already-lengthy hook just to tie into this track’s intro. (It also kind of rips off Benny the Butcher’s “Goodnight”, but that’s a story for another time.) Thought and Shady each deliver lengthy verses, with Em doubling down on his identifying as a mass murderer (of beats, allegedly) while unleashing corny dad jokes such as, “Middle fingers, put ‘em high / That’s why that call it a bird / ‘Cause you put it up in the sky.” Sigh. Most of Marshall’s verse is decent, though, and the part where he starts name-dropping his rhyming heroes sounded genuine to me. Tariq, for his part, destroys “Yah Yah”, and does so without trying all that much – could Mr. Porter be the key in making a Black Thought solo project actually sound engaging? Who the fuck knows? But you can have that idea for free, you two.

11. STEPDAD (INTRO)
…

12. STEPDAD
I’m sitting here cackling at how Eminem finally picked up an Alchemist beat for himself and it’s… this one. Oh Lord is this instrumental goofy as shit. Although I should be impressed with how un-street “Stepdad” sounds, proving that ALC is no one-trick pony, I’m not, because this was plenty awful. Marshall engages in a revenge fantasy against an abusive stepfather through his three verses, two of which focus on our host’s observations of the man’s violent behavior before culminating in a brutal murder that isn’t as cathartic as it should be, because, again, instrumental. But the motherfucker killed Em’s dog, so I’m right there with him: fuck that guy. “Stepdad” plays like exactly the kind of shit an angry teen would scribble down in a creative writing class in a movie depicting life in high school, preferably one where the teacher turns their chair backwards to sit while preaching about how Shakespeare may not have written any of his plays but he’s still the “original” rapper somehow, but since this is Eminem we’re talking about, I’m sure lots of people identified with it, or at least with his rage. My God, did Marshall have anyone in his childhood that gave a shit about his well-being? Anyway, this song wasn’t good, but his eye for the smaller details is as sharp as ever.

13. MARSH
Another exercise in Marshall Mathers (or “Marsh”, a nickname I’m certain nobody’s ever used around him) doing whatever the fuck he wants on wax – he’s made Interscope enough money, he’s earned a bit of artistic license, yes? Over a peppy trap-adjacent self-produced instrumental, our host barrels through all of the punchlines he had in his notebook, most of which are corny (“You wanna butt heads? Shut up, Beavis,” – I mean, will any of his fans even get that reference?) but occasionally striking gold (“I’m a stan of Redman, X-Clan, and I’m a Treach fan / But I look up to myself, like a handstand”) or at least causing me to smirk a bit. “Marsh” certainly could have been much more successful had Marshall not included a hook to break up the verses; this kind of track benefits from a lack of interruptions, although I get that it would have sounded too much like a mixtape freestyle had he actually followed that advice. Anyway, “Marsh” isn’t bad (although that part where he quadruples-down on the misogyny definitely is), but do you ever need to listen to it? No.

14. NEVER LOVE AGAIN
Loving his song-length analogies, Eminem crafts “Never Love Again” as a breakup anthem that is really about his coming to terms with drug addiction, which is an interesting concept on paper. It’s obvious that our host spent a lot of time making sure the lyrics throughout his three verses could all serve a double meaning, which is a testament to how good of a writer Marshall Mathers truly is: even when some turns of phrase threaten to upend the entire conceit of the song, the guy simply alters his delivery a touch or breaks up the syllables so as to not thoroughly confuse the audience. Again, though, keep in mind that I said “Never Love Again” is an interesting concept on paper. Musically, it’s kind of corny, as the two separate instrumentals present (credited to a cadre of composers, including Dr. Dre and Dem Jointz) each fail to lend the track the necessary gravitas either a painful breakup of a declaration of freedom from drug dependency would seemingly deserve. (The second beat, which kicks in during the third verse, especially reminded me of wandering around the world’s lamest carnival on family night.) So as a song “Never Again” is too clever by half, but as a writing prompt, Marshall’s definitely done worse, even on this very album (*cough* “Darkness” *cough*).

15. LITTLE ENGINE
The closest Marshall has gotten to his Slim Shady persona all evening, and “Little Engine” is just as good as that description implies. Which is to say: this was pretty bad. Em is in full control of his instrument, but when he uses it for gimmicky claptrap such as this, his hip hop card should be revoked, cut in half, and burned in front of him and his entire family. A clever gag or two is hardly enough to salvage what sounds like a joke, and shouting out Dr. Dre only precludes follow-up questions such as, “This is a Dr. Dre beat?”; “Why does it sound like that?”; and, of course, “Huh?”. We should move on before I lose my nerve.

16. LOCK IT UP (FEAT. ANDERSON .PAAK)
The third Dr. Dre prescription in a row (albeit one touched by many other collaborators) is the best one of Music To Be Murdered By, so it’s a pity that the lyrics attached to the “Lock It Up” beat were so forgettable. “Lock It Up” finds Marshall back on his bullshit, pushing the dad jokes as though he has a warehouse surplus, and while his flow twists around the music admirably, he isn’t saying anything of any substance, except for maybe the part where he goes after his still-current employee Joe Budden (because the group Slaughterhouse, which includes Budden, is still technically signed to the Shady records, although that’s just a formality at this point). Guest Anderson .Paak’s vocals, performed in a sung-rapped style as is his custom, are aimless as well: in his opening stanza he quickly shifts from shooting up a brand new car to asking, “Where the fuck the party at?”, and there’s no throughline sturdy enough to support that leap over the holes in his story. Paak sounds okay overall, although his is a taste I still haven’t acquired, and our host is technically fine as well, but Dre’s beat, with its notes climbing during every couple of bars, is the only think walking out of here tonight.

17. FAREWELL
I’d say “Farewell” is too toxic for words, but this is the same Eminem who once released a song all about killing his wife, and then wrote another one that depicted the actual murder, so “Farewell” is nothing by comparison. Except shitty. This was a shitty song, and no amount of our host’s verbal gymnastics can salvage this for me. What is with this guy’s obsession with horrible relationships?

18. NO REGRETS (FEAT. DON TOLIVER)
Marshall always seems to have one song on each of his albums where he takes time to reflect on his career, usually over a dramatic instrumental, usually one he produces himself, and on these specific tracks he talks about hoe his tendency to fly off the handle rap battle-wise always gets the best of him, and yet he’d do it again, no question. He has “No Regrets”, which, fittingly, is the title of this Doman production, featuring too verses of serious Mr. Mathers discussing his recent beefs, his disappointment with himself for going after Tyler, the Creator and Earl Sweatshirt for the flimsiest of reasons, and his knee-jerk response of going into attack mode whenever someone goes after him or a member of his family (understandable, at least from my stance). But we don’t need any of this shit explained to us: if you listen to an Eminem record in 2020, you’ve already accepted his terms of service. So this song is kind of redundant. Houston crooner-slash-rapper Don Toliver provides a hook that meshes with the beat well, but still sounds goofy and pop radio-ready for an Em track, which is to say, it sounds exactly like something Marshall would want on one of his singles, so mission accomplished, I suppose? “No Regrets” isn’t bad, exactly, but it is unnecessary.

19. I WILL (FEAT. KXNG CROOKED, JOELL ORTIZ, & ROYCE DA 5’9”)
One of these days I hope Em will find it in his heart to release a project filled entirely with collaborations with other rappers, since that seems to be the only way his pen is even remotely compelling to me these days – as a battle rapper, he thrives off of the spirit of competition, whether friendly or otherwise. Which brings us to “I Will”, Marshall’s bid to replace Joe Budden in the supergroup Slaughterhouse and the best song on Music To Be Murdered By, albeit one not without its faults. Over an Em beat that isn’t bad, really – it’s simple, to the point, and features virtually none of the bombast he tends to chase after whenever he’s behind the boards – Marshall teams up with three-fourths of Slaughterhouse, allowing room for Royce da 5’9”, KXNG Crooked, and Joell Ortiz to get some of their punchline-laden shit-talking off before launching into an extra-lengthy missive of his own, one which attacks Brand Nubian’s Lord Jamar for daring to say that our host (and white rappers in general) will always be “[a guest] in the house of hip hop”, regardless of skill, solely because of the color of his skin. Em takes obvious offense to that, detailing early moments in his life growing up within our chosen culture while going at him directly (“If it was anyone’s house, G Rap and Rakim would be having you mop floors… Yeah, your group was off the chain, but you were the weakest link”). It’s very likely his contribution was recorded separate from the rest of his collaborators, since nobody else bothers jumping into the fray (possibly because they think Eminem, still their label boss, is capable of handling it on his own, but they perhaps also just didn’t like the optics here, which, while Marshall has a point, still looks pretty bad on paper.) It’s a shame that Ortiz’s verse is so short, and Crooked I could have spit for three more hours over this beat and I would have been happy, but the real missed opportunity for me here is Ryan, who could have used “I Will” to jump-start another Bad Meets Evil collaboration, maybe one with harder production this time? There was also no need for the hook to exist here. Marshall is obsessed with that particular songwriting convention, but the best posse cuts just roil straight into the next verse. Ah well.

20. ALFRED (OUTRO)
And we’re out.

THE LAST WORD: Welp, Music To Be Murdered By is at least better than Kamikaze, although Em certainly tried his best to fuck it up as much as possible. Look, Marshall Mathers is one of the absolute best rappers we have today on a sheer technical level, and the amount of passion and care he puts into both his craft and educating himself about the culture is commendable. But that doesn’t always translate into entertainment value: you can be a good writer, but other factors may prevent anyone from connecting with your words, such as environment, subject matter, political leanings, personal preference, or, in the case of a lot of Music To Be Murdered By, the music behind Em’s thoughts, a lot of which seems to have been created for an audience that has never existed.

Em also succumbs to his default “rapping for rapping’s sake” mode more often than not, and every time he does this it becomes harder and harder to take the man seriously behind the mic. He spits as though he has no peer, which might be true depending on where you land on the standom spectrum, but he also spits as though he has no audience, with each “Godzilla” or “Premonition (Intro)” and the like acting as a new challenge for himself, making a game of it by seeing how many times he can bounce a basketball in a minute, and then beating that record to death with his words and spittle. Hip hop is a competitive sport, but when you’re only really competing with yourself, the listener isn’t going to derive any enjoyment from it: I dare you to show me someone who honestly claims that “Godzilla” is their favorite song and that they love to play it on repeat constantly. You can’t. It just isn’t that type of song. Neither was “Rap God”. That’s one thing early Marshall Mathers had that a lot of his current output just flat-out doesn’t: replay value.

All that said, Music To Be Murdered By does feature two tracks that a subset of hip hop heads will both gravitate toward and enjoy, and deservedly so: “Yah Yah” and “I Will” feature Marshall Mathers in his prime, the Eminem that was forged in the pits of the Detroit battle rap scene finally in his element alongside other rappers who could give him a good run. Yeah, I know, a lot of Music To Be Murdered By is filled with pop rap nonsense that children under the age of thirteen will believe to be "deep", questionable subject matter, and the voice of a man who feels that he has nothing left to prove to anybody but himself and it shows in his performances, but those two tracks? They prove that Eminem has been listening and is willing to put himself out there alongside coworkers in his own field that he shares a mutual appreciation with. He used to do this much more often: remember his work with Redman, or The Notorious B.I.G. (posthumous, but still counts), or Thirstin Howl III, or Tha Outsidaz, or Busta Rhymes, or Conway the Machine (of Griselda, who are signed to Shady Records but are conspicuously missing from this album)? (On second thought, don’t think of Conway’s “Bang” – Em’s verse on there is terrible.) When he wants to, Eminem is willing to put in the effort to show that he deserves his spot in the upper echelon. He just hasn’t wanted to on his own projects for a long while. Here’s hoping the positive feedback those two tracks have received changes that.

Otherwise, yeah, chuck the rest of Music To be Murdered By into an open grave, because you aren’t going to listen to most of this one ever again.

-Max

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