My Gut Reaction: Eminem - Music To Be Murdered By - Side B (December 18, 2020)

In January of 2020, a pre-pandemic Marshall “Eminem” Mathers surprise-released Music To Be Murdered By, his eleventh proper album. Heavily inspired by Alfred Hitchcock, from its interludes to its very title, Music To Be Murdered By was a guest-heavy affair marked by the man’s multiple attempts to out-rap his past self while abusing the English language. It featured production from heavy-hitters such as Dr. Dre, Royce da 5’9”, Mr. Porter, Skylar Grey, and a hilariously terrible offering from The Alchemist, notable only because this was Eminem’s very first time to record a track by himself over a beat from his tour DJ, and it was bad, folks. Regardless, because it was an Eminem album released by Aftermath/Interscope Records, he managed to move over a million copies (through a combination of streams and sales, which is the reality we live in today).

In December of 2020, a Marshall Mathers living in the midst of said pandemic surprise-released Music To Be Murdered By – Side B, a long-rumored collection of sixteen tracks tacked on to the original project as a bonus disc of sorts. It continued to toil under the long shadow of Alfred Hitchcock, even more blatantly than the first time around in at least one instance, but doesn’t appear to be recognized as a separate project of its own, although that’s how we’re going to look at it for today.

Music To Be Murdered By – Side B is a significant downgrade when compared to its predecessor, in that there are far fewer guests to be found, and the production staff appears to be a lot more budget-friendly. However, Eminem’s previous albums hadn’t ever really been that dependent on cameos from his famous friends – the man loves the sound of his own voice, so why shouldn’t that be the primary focus of any Eminem LP? And as for the production, Marshall is known, for better but mostly for worse, to be his own producer, so that’s hardly any sort of deterrent for him. He’s the type of rapper who thinks he can work within any environment, and if nobody else is available, he can just do all of the heavy lifting himself.

He’s wrong, but while you two may agree with me, his rather large stanbase on social media would beg to differ. The man’s music has become the soundtrack for incel angst throughout the country, a demographic even Eminem acknowledges, as he’s gone out of his way to insult and disown the more MAGA-friendly members of his audience. Even with that, the man’s numbers continue to soar. Although sales figures aren’t easily attainable for Music To Be Murdered By – Side B, as it is considered to be bonus material featured on a deluxe edition of the original Music To Be Murdered By, all of its streams counting toward that project’s numbers instead, it’s safe to assume that this shit was successful enough, judging by the number of people who seemed to be actually excited at the prospect of a remix to an Eminem song featuring newcomers Jack Harlow and Cordae hitting the Interweb a week or so before I started writing this review.

Let’s just get through this, okay?

1. ALFRED (INTRO)
Okay, so why isn’t this just called Music To Be Buried By then?

2. BLACK MAGIC (FEAT. SKYLAR GREY)
Wasting no time, frequent collaborator Skylar Grey returns to the fold to provide both the chorus and the instrumental to “Black Magic”, which makes her both the first and the second female producer to work on an Eminem project. (Just kidding – I know that isn’t how that works. But she did produce this one.) The overall sound is ominous in tone, befitting both the Alfred Hitchcock influence hanging over Music To Be Murdered By – Side B and the track as a whole, since “Black Magic” finds Marshall in yet another destructive relationship, although this time around he goes back to the well and murders his partner during the song. Just like on The Marshall Mathers LP’s “Kim”, Em claims to murder her because he loves her so much, but on this song he does admit later that he “just wanted to see what her insides looked like,” just to add a tinge of dark humor to the already-problematic proceedings, which, ugh. Similar to what he managed on “Rap God”, Eminem turns in an ultra-controversial performance which nobody gave a second look since he isn’t a big a superstar as he once was. The rhymes come fast, furiously, and are far less clever than our host believes them to be, but you can’t say he doesn’t paint a horrid picture with his words. Song still sucks.

3. ALFRED’S THEME
On what should have been the actual rap album intro, Marshall chases after that “Rap God” dragon once again on “Alfred’s Theme”, an extra-lengthy verse (with a couple of breaks) transpiring over a self-produced instrumental that barely does anything to the chop of the theme song from Alfred Hitchcock Presents that it samples. This is pure uncut Eminem rhyming because he likes the sound of his own voice, twisting his bars around to rhyme entire phrases not unlike the late MF DOOM, except Marshall also has far too many dad jokes in the chamber, each one making the audience groan louder than the last. (I will cop to smirking at the point he stops the track to wash his hands in the year of our Lord COVID-2020, and I laughed out loud at, “Bitch, if you shot a tree you wouldn’t pop the trunk.” Sue me.) Our host’s performance is pretty straightforward during most of the song’s five-minute-plus run time, before he revives his double-time flow toward the end, which is also the part when you’ll realize that you’ve grown exhausted of this instrumental and will just want to hear something, anything different. As a songwriting challenge, I’m sure “Alfred’s Theme” was fun for Marshall, but as a listening experience? Nah.

4. TONE DEAF
I may not be that familiar with Marshall’s most recent songs outside of these write-ups, but I’ve heard “Tone Deaf” played on the radio (well, on Shade 45, so on his own radio station, anyway), and I remember feeling underwhelmed by the whole enterprise back then. Today, it kind of makes me angry, not just because of how little our host seems to care about delivering an entertaining product, but because of how much time I wasted listening to Marshall’s bullshit back when he first signed to Aftermath, time I’ll never get back. It’s clear Eminem had some fun writing “Tone Deaf”, fucking around with the English language, twisting sentences around in an attempt to rhyme entire bars with one another as he is wont to do, but the music (provided by Luis Resto and Marshall himself) is fucking weak as shit, as are our host’s actual rhymes. The use of the name “Pissed Pissedofferson” is the mark of an artist who’s clearly aiming for the lowest common denominator here, even as he claims the opposite. “Tone Deaf”, a lengthy collection of shit-talk and half-assed threats mixed with all of the dad jokes, also has the distinction of completely disregarding the actual definition of the phrase “tone deaf”, using it as ableist nonsense, although, to be fair, Eminem obtusely doing this means that he wasn’t paying any attention to the tone of his overall message, which then makes the title true in a very stupid way. Regardless of whether you think this was fucking awful or just terrible, “Tone Deaf” ranks among the man’s absolute worst performances. Fuck him and this song. (I understand that Eminem thinks he’s making fun of mumble rap with that song title, but it’s 2021, he fucking knows what he’s saying and not saying here.)

5. BOOK OF RHYMES (FEAT. DJ PREMIER)
Calm down nerds, you should know by now that whenever the feature credit lists DJ Premier, that means he didn’t produce the track, All the man does is provide light scratching, which is a bit weird considering the man’s pedigree, but he is a DJ after all. Instead, “Book of Rhymes” was produced by our host and IllaDaProducer, and the trap drums during the first half (because this had to be one of those rap songs where the beat switches halfway through, obviously) are thin and had to have been insulting to the godfather of boom bap. Marshall’s insistence on controlling everything in his surroundings, as opposed to just relenting and letting Preemo produce a track for him, is stubbornness personified, especially when he knows about DJ Premier’s work with his BFF Royce da 5’9” in the group PRhyme. Anyway, Em’s bars are mostly useless, lampshaded by the concept of the song, which finds the man emptying out his “Book of Rhymes”, dissing Ja Rule (seriously? Still?) and Bon Iver just because the man thrives in conflict, but none of this was especially “good” or “memorable”. This changes with the beat switch, which subs in a more dramatic effort that seemingly elevates our host’s performance, lending the dramatic heft that the guy wrongly believes that all of his rock-tinged power ballad-adjacent radio-ready efforts are born with. He still says dumb shit, but he sounds much better when the thin drums are sent packing, and I truly enjoyed the way he threw to Preemo at the end of the track, no lie, as he grants his guest the respect he deserves, The back half of “Book of Rhymes” was engaging, even though Preemo scratched in less vocal samples than usual. (I understand that Marshall himself picked the sample, so it begs the question: just what the hell was Preemo brought in for in the first place?) But the first half of the track is ass, Argue with your mom.

6. FAVORITE BITCH (FEAT. TY DOLLA $IGN)
Marshall Mathers throws his hat into the “song where hip hop is personified as a woman” ring, a contest that was won long ago by Common’s “I Used To Love H.E.R.”, but, with Eminem’s twist on the subject matter, which inevitably pits our host against “her” in a violent manner. Which, honestly, the idea of Eminem killing off hip hop once and for all isn’t unheard of and is certainly within the realm of possibility. The thing is, our host clearly loves the genre and appreciates the fact that he’s found any success within its boundaries at all, so, shockingly but not really, his threats during the third verse sound like a farce, as through he only recorded them because he know that was what the listener would expect to hear from him, and the vicious cycle continues. The Blacknailz and MJ Nichols beat was actually pretty good, even with the thin-ass drums, but the intro attacking mumble rap was kind of negated by featuring Ty Dolla Sign on the hook, because while the guest isn’t a mumble rapper himself, he’s certainly adjacent to the subgenre. Because Marshall is a solid writer, the extended metaphor runs circles around what Common manages to put together back in 1994, but the sheer amount of cringeworthy dad jokes stalls the overall performance. Also, the title “Favorite Bitch” is pretty fucking stupid, even if the phrase is utilized a bunch of times throughout the song itself. Le sigh.

7. GUNS BLAZING (FEAT. DR. DRE & SLY PIPER)
Eminem and his label boss Dr. Dre team up yet again to write off former relationships, Andre likely talking-slash-shitting on his soon-to-be ex-wife while our host gets angry with… someone named Michelle? Yeah, me neither. (Em is pretty good at keeping his private life private when he wants to.) The instrumental, provided by J. LBS, isn’t exactly incendiary enough to burn these bridges, although thankfully the multiple gunshots heard at the beginning of the track don’t come into play anywhere else here. Marshall sounds like the breakup genuinely hurt him…at points. The rest of the time he masks his pain by lashing out, while the good Doctor sounded pretty good reciting the words someone else jotted down for him, even if they’re more than a little bit vague. Still not a great song though.

8. GNAT
Marshall uses “Gnat”, and its two d.a. got that dope-provided beats, as his delivery method of choice for a song-length metaphor, one where the mere mention of COVID-19 is equivalent to Em being “ill” behind the microphone. This is yet another exercise in our host thinking that he’s much more clever than he actually is, the man’s toying with songwriting conventions, internal rhymes, and his general appreciation for his own voice doing battle with the big bad of this level, portrayed here as the entertainment value of “Gnat”, and destroying it thusly, as this shit wasn’t remotely enjoyable to listen to. At all. And yet it was better than a lot of Eminem’s lyrical spiritual miracle bar crawls, if only because I appreciated a couple of the man’s meta references. The beat, or rather beats, weren’t strong enough to shoulder this burden, however. So, obviously, “Gnat” was inexplicably chosen to be a single because fuck me, right?

9. HIGHER
There’s a video for this one too, one which made its debut during a UFC match because nobody cares about music videos anymore. “Higher”, which may have sounded a tiny bit better had our host just stolen the beat from The Game’s song of the same name, is supposed to be about Eminem’s quest for continued success even after having hit dizzying heights throughout his career so far, but this self-produced instrumental is fuzzy noise, uncredited crooner Sly Piper’s contribution is bland as shit, and Marshall himself is rapping solely for, well, himself, his bars devoid of any quotables or anything remotely memorable. “I’m about to go out on a limb like a tree climber,” is the creative apex for this track, a rather boring piece of work overall. Can Eminem even write a passable song anymore? Let’s find out.

10. THESE DEMONS (FEAT. MAJ)
Both all over the place and not about any sort of demons, puzzlingly enough. Marshall spends a good chunk of time during this production-by-committee (featuring d.a. got that dope, Mike Zombie, The Loud Pack, and Em himself) complaining about how both critics and fans seem to praise his older work while chastising his new shit, demanding that he remain stuck in the past instead of evolving as an artist, but while he remains big mad about anyone who dares to criticize his work for any reason, that isn’t really what “These Demons” is about. In fact, it isn’t about anything at all, since Eminem rattles off boasts-n-bullshit with no clear focus (except, again, for the “I hate music critics” piffle). The beat is meh in both of its iterations, as is to be expected when so many fingers are in the pie as they are here, but I kind of liked guest MAJ’s hook, even though it mentions exactly zero demons, and our host’s wordplay continues to impress, even if he’s just wasting his time complaining about stuff he has no control over. Kind of like me wasting my time writing about an Eminem album that I’m bound to not really enjoy. So it goes.

11. KEY (SKIT)
Marshall actually hates his fans. That’s the only lesson here.

12. SHE LOVES ME
It took another goddamned committee of producers, including Dr. Dre and Focus…, to put together “She Loves Me”. The track doesn’t sound bad or anything, but what a waste of combined resources. Marshall Mathers is so rich that he can afford to have producers pitch in almost nothing to a song and they’ll still receive a credit in the liner notes. (I get that descripton isn’t even close to how the process really works, relax.) “She Loves Me” doesn’t seem to be the type of track that would ever be worth all of this effort – our host simply talks about a fuck buddy who only likes him for his money, which he realizes but takes advantage of anyway – but given the pedigree behind it, nobody’s every going to say it outright sucks, not even me. Technically, this was well-made: I liked Marshall’s little joke at the end and his confident, not-striving-for-overly-clever-for-once performance. But this one ultimately felt hollow.

13. KILLER
I’m sure producer d.a. got that dope is a lovely person to chop it up with, and his sound certainly works for other artists, but while I completely understand why he would want to keep cashing Aftermath/Interscope paychecks, Eminem just isn’t a suitable collaborator for his thin melodies and trap drums. Is this preferable to our host producing his own shit, drafting beat after beat of rock-adjacent, inadvertently MAGA-courting anger anthems? It’s arguable, really. “Killer” is yet another song where Marshall doesn’t have any clear focus, unless one counts veering from loose boasts-n-bullshit (“…got money up the ass / call it toilet paper, yeah, flush with cash”) to a longer third stanza that, one again, courts “Rap God”-levels of listener intolerance as “growth”. Our host seems to have an affinity for this track, having released an official remix featuring rappers Cordae and Jack Harlow earlier this year, a remix I haven’t yet sat down with but only exists to prove to hip hop heads that he is aware of other rappers in the game. (Unless they’re signed to his own label, anyway *cough* Conway *cough*) This was underwhelming as fuck.

14. ZEUS (FEAT. WHITE GOLD)
“She says I am trash, but she listens to Tekashi.” Eminem comes out swinging on “Zeus”, dropping names and observations from the God’s-eye view of hip hop he’s been working toward “since that underground Rawkus / where [he] planted [his] roots.” T-Minus’s beat is too limp to make any sort of lasting impact here, so Marshall’s shit-talking will fall upon deaf ears, at least until the end of the track, where he continues his beef with Snoop Dogg (which has since been patched up?) while acting shocked, shocked I tell you, that someone “in [his] camp” would ever dare to go against him. (Your “camp”? You both share a common friend in Dr. Dre – that doesn’t mean you two need to hang out or go get a iced coffee with one another at all.) Crooner White Gold provides the chorus, which sounded fine but also suffered from being paired with the ineffective instrumental. This should have been much better, especially if our host had planned on torching several bridges with it.

15. THUS FAR (INTERLUDE)
More Hitchcock.

16. DISCOMBOBULATED
Music To Be Murdered By – Side B ends with what purposely sounds like a relic from the Encore or Relapse recording sessions, albeit one that features six credited producers because Marshall is nothing if not a job creator. “Discombobulated” is Eminem talking his shit at an elite level, and yet it’s still corny as shit, just like a lot of the tracks from Encore or Relapse, if you’ll recall. Our host rolls with the multiple beat switches, providing a different flow for each, but this feels more like work to listen to than everything else on the project simply because your mind will be tricked into wanting to catch every little thing the man does behind the mic even though the song itself isn’t very good. That’s the thing with Marshall: he is great behind the mic, and he is a terrific writer. He just only ever writes for himself, which is why literally every other aspect of his musical output lacks that special something to push them over the edge. Look, I’m not asking for another “Role Model” in 2021 – that is both ridiculous and disrespectful to the man’s journey throughout his career. He isn’t that same guy anymore – even the current incarnation of Slim Shady barely shares any DNA with our host’s early work. But is it too much for the man to bring someone onto his staff to help his shit sound enjoyable to actually listen to?

THE LAST WORD: I think you both know where I’m going with this. Music To Be Murdered By – Side B is the work of a thoroughly complacent Marshall Mathers, an artist who is so content with his place within our chosen genre that he accepts absolutely zero criticism from anybody, whether it be from older hip hop heads, someone from within his camp (see: Snoop Dogg), or actual music critics. This album is what happens when full creative control is handed to the artist – the growth in said artist is stunted, as they release different iterations of the same goddamned song every couple of years or so to keep the copyright active, but the lack of any inherent challenge sharpening their sword with eventually eat them alive. That sentence got a little clumsy, but I'm leaving it as-is because my feelings about Eminem are fairly complicated, and I think you know what I’m saying regardless.

What Eminem actually needs is someone to challenge him in the studio, whether it be a fellow artist (even though that Bad Meets Evil project was kind of meh, Royce da 5’9” does still manage to spark a creative fire under his friend) or, here’s a wild concept, a different producer. Not Dr. Dre, not any of these new-school trap kids who haven’t yet discovered that drums can be played with different intensity levels, and for the love of butter not Marshall himself. Someone needs to be there to tell the guy “no”, and more than just one time – Marshall requires someone pushing back on him in order to find his inner artist again, the guy who both loves hip hop and only wishes to contribute to it in the best possible way. The time for this to happen has long since passed, obviously – Eminem’s fanbase today consists of precisely zero people who were around when Infinite hit, or when the man signed to Aftermath. Instead, today’s Marshall stans are the type of weirdos who seem to wholeheartedly believe that it’s impossible for their lyrical miracle to ever release a bad song, and if you were receiving that kind of feedback, you’d have no incentive to step your game up. That’s Music To Be Murdered By – Side B.

Eminem remains a good writer, not necessarily of music, but the way he bastardizes the English langaue and its various grammatical rules in order to find rhymes where rhymes had never existed before remains impressive. But his scope is, as always, limited: if he isn’t talking about how angry music critics make him feel every time he releases a new project, he’s talking about women, and not usually in the most pleasant of manners. That, or he’s laser-focused on outdoing his performance on “Rap God”, a feat which absolutely nobody has ever actually asked him to attempt. His taste in beats remains shit – he may now officially have the worst ear for beats within our chosen genre, beating out Nas in that department – and the fact that he seems to write for an audience of just himself becomes less and less interesting as each new project passes. Part of me really wants this to be the last time I write about the man, because I’m getting absolutely nothing out of these experiences, each new album reinforcing the idea that I was a fucking moron in my youth for enjoying his earlier work. And maybe that’s his overall intent: I wouldn’t put it past Eminem to create music designed to make older heads feel bad about their purchases of The Slim Shady LP or The Eminem Show so they drop off his timeline, allowing him to bask in the glow from his twelve-year-old angry white male fans who all hate their mothers and record incel anthems for them exclusively. It’s just that Marshall is so goddamned earnest about his love of hip hop, and I believe him, so I can’t really entertain the thought that he’d be willing to sabotage the genre just to serve his own selfish needs. But then I listen to shit like Music To Be Murdered By – Side B, and now I’m not so sure.

TL:DR – No.

-Max

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